She Ruined My Life, and I Let Her

[loveboid]

 

Some of us are just emploring him to consult an attorney to review all the evidence and dialogue to determine if he has a case or not.

 

Well that's fair. I'm saying I wouldn't get my hopes up that'll it'll work if he consults an attorney.

[oldshirt]

See responses in bold below.

 

 

 

The legal recourse is wasted energy IMO.

 

that is for an attorney that practices in his jurisdiction to decide.

 

 

It also won't help the OP move on and try to put this behind him.

 

Let's keep in mind the scale of the loss. He sold his business that had been his sole support for decades. He moved across the country on her promise of a relationship. He put in hundreds of hours of skilled labor. He invested $10,000 of his money into the materials to upgrade her house under the premise that the money would be used for their joint new marital home.

 

While this was taking place, she was screwing the whole neighborhood so that shows she did not have intent to fulfill the plan of marriage and the new joint home.

 

I challenge that getting fair compensation for his labor and expenses WILL help him get over it with less baggage and hardship. How could it possibly not??? How can you sit there in good conscience say it wouldn't?????

 

They had a plan to downscale, but he didn't know she was up to no good.

 

they had a plan to marry and use the proceeds for a new marital home. That's why he invested his labor and materials. Being unaware of someone else's deceit and fraud doesn't negate that the contract was broken and that the fraud took place.

 

 

 

Sometimes in life we get burnt by nasty people with no morals or ethics. You put it down to experience and move on with your life.

 

 

but the harm they caused makes moving on with life that much harder. Moving on is much more productive when you aren't unemployed and $10000 in the hole. He spent hundreds of hours working on her house that he could've spent working for paying customers.

 

It's starting to sound like she may have willfully duped him. That adds a whole other layer.

 

Dang, I'd take on this case for 20% of the amount received in judgement and I'm not even a lawyer!

.

[Mal78]

Obtaining work/money under "false pretense" is a chargeable of fence and she could be criminally liable.

 

Her small town circle couldn't be suckered in for the work I imagine they know her all too well to do her those kind of favors so she looked beyond.

 

Regardless if he took the bait she manipulated this man, got what she wanted and now he is disposable. I will guarantee he told her of his first wife and how that history tainted him these many years to love again.... walks in this women. She played off of this!

 

I do not believe it should be a "lesson learned". This women should NOT be given the opportunity to do this again to another person. Perhaps she burns all her bridges with men and she starts going after little old ladies.

 

Seeking out advice from an attorney is best.

[insert_name]

I scoffed at the idea that she could be so cruel as to cherry pick a mark and sucker him in to sell up and haul all his stuff across country so she can get a live in carpenter and get her house tarted up on the cheap...then it occurred to me that if her racket has been going on for so long behind OPs back, isnt it funny that OP finds out at the point where it sounds like most of the work has been done? It all sounds so coincidental as to be more than chance. Perhaps the information was even leaked to OP on purpose to get him to move on nowhe has done his bit?

 

What a horrendous thought. Hopefully the timing is all just coincidence and OP can get fair recompense and put all this behind him.

[drifter777]

 

Some of us are just emploring him to consult an attorney to review all the evidence and dialogue to determine if he has a case or not.

I get that and it's a clear option for him. I just wouldn't advise him to hire an attorney and throw good money after bad. Cutting his loses with a clean break seems to be the best path in this case.

[LifeWasted]

So, I spent the afternoon putting my stuff in storage, then I drove across town and got myself an extended stay hotel. Crappy little room with a bed as hard as rock. Two nights ago I was sleeping in a king.

 

I'm exhausted. I talked to that gal. She says my GF kissed her husband a week or so back at a birthday party we went to. One of her kids saw it. That what prompted her to tell me about my GF screwing this other guy. I told her it would have been nice if she had told me just out of the kindness of her heart. Anyways she is gunning for my GF now and wants to ruin her reputation.

 

She then went on to tell me that my GF had gone to see an old college boyfriend in a nearby city back in November, on the pretext that she and some girlfriends were having a weekend getaway. I remember that weekend. I kissed her goodbye and told her to have fun. Then I spent the weekend milling and installing crown moldings for her parlour I was working on. I worked my ass off that weekend while she was in another city getting laid by an old boyfriend.

 

Go figure.

 

I'm tired.

[DatingDirection]

She sounds like an awful person, to kiss someone else's husband, and right infront of his child, or in a place where at any moment the child could catch them. Either way she sounds like a self centred. If I were you I would break everything I ever built for her, but then again, you may just want to keep it, so she can look at it every day of her life, and be reminded of what a low life she is, and what a sweetheart she lost.

[road]

So, I spent the afternoon putting my stuff in storage, then I drove across town and got myself an extended stay hotel. Crappy little room with a bed as hard as rock. Two nights ago I was sleeping in a king.

 

I'm exhausted. I talked to that gal. She says my GF kissed her husband a week or so back at a birthday party we went to. One of her kids saw it. That what prompted her to tell me about my GF screwing this other guy. I told her it would have been nice if she had told me just out of the kindness of her heart. Anyways she is gunning for my GF now and wants to ruin her reputation.

 

She then went on to tell me that my GF had gone to see an old college boyfriend in a nearby city back in November, on the pretext that she and some girlfriends were having a weekend getaway. I remember that weekend. I kissed her goodbye and told her to have fun. Then I spent the weekend milling and installing crown moldings for her parlour I was working on. I worked my ass off that weekend while she was in another city getting laid by an old boyfriend.

 

Go figure.

 

I'm tired.

 

 

 

Go talk to a lawyer and see if can get paid for your labor and materials. Then once you get paid you'll have money to move far away and restart your business.

[CarrieT]

The legal recourse is wasted energy IMO. It also won't help the OP move on and try to put this behind him.

 

Don't be so sure...

 

Some of us have been screwed by partners and getting a fiduciary judgment against them after-the-fact can be an amazing curative to a broken heart.

[neowulf]

Don't be so sure...

 

Some of us have been screwed by partners and getting a fiduciary judgment against them after-the-fact can be an amazing curative to a broken heart.

 

+1

 

People need to understand that there are repercussions to their actions.

No one's suggesting the OP do this out of spite.

 

He's simply getting what his is owed. Promises were made and broken. He's been treated horrendeously and disrespected.

 

The least he can do is try and salvage *something* from the situation.

 

OP, I've read through your story and I'm gutted. Such a horrible, horrible way to treat another human being.

 

I am sorry this has happened to you, but glad that she's shown you her true colours, before sucking even more time, energy and life from you.

 

I can't begin to imagine the challenge ahead of you, but my thoughts are with you.

[LifeWasted]

I did save most of my receipts from the materials I bought. I may indeed take her to court. But I'm not really thinking about that right now. I'm exhausted but I cannot sleep. I have visions of her screwing this other guy. I have met him before. He's in his 30s and a lot better looking.

 

She keeps calling and texting but I have just been ignoring it. I let the battery on the phone die.

 

For now I'm going to concentrate on my state contractors test I have coming up. I'm not planning on moving back to my home state. I have nothing there, no family or kin left. And besides, I like it here. I think I can make a fresh start and build a nice business to retire on. People have seen my work and I've already had lots of requests to work on custom homes and such.

 

To hell with her. I'll become a success here and she can pound sand. I'll walk with my head held high and she can see me on the street and know that she could have had a great life with me. Stupid woman. I hope this young lover boy was worth it, because I don't believe he would seriously stay with her for the long haul. It still hurts though, and I still feel like a chump.

[LifeWasted]

Might have been nice of her to give you a headsup earlier about this. Might ask her about that.

 

She's a card carrying rich bitch. I thanked her for the info but I plan on having nothing more to do with her, my GF or their hoity toity circle of moronic friends.

[LifeWasted]

This was predicated on them getting married and finding a smaller house to live in together as husband and wife. Giving the benefit of the doubt to both here it sounds to me like they both took a risk and had compatibility issues at the socializing level. He cannot force her to marry him out of debt or say to her, "Nevermind, give me all my money back, we don't get along."

 

I heard a story once of an older gentleman who took his younger lady colleague out to lunch regularly for months. He paid each time. When she got engaged--to someone else--he sent her a bill for all of her meals.

 

This is why we have marriage and other written contracts. These are consensual, documented financial agreements.

 

That was the plan. Actually, I don't think she was out to bamboozle me. I think she wanted me for a safe, hard working husband who had a nice nest egg built up, but she wanted to have her fun on the side. I was too straight and boring for her I guess.

 

I think she is going through midlife and wants to sow her oats. I should have seen it long ago. She tries to look like she's in her twenties. She's still a beautiful woman, but her looks are fading fast.

 

What really irks me is that, prior to meeting her, she had just gotten out of a twenty year marriage where her ex-husband cheated on her constantly. All she did while we were getting to know each other was whine about how badly he treated her.

 

You would think she would have some empathy for how I would feel?

 

I don't get it. I told her the other night when I confronted her that I would have never done that to her. She didn't have anything to say of course.

 

"I'm sorry". "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry."

 

Yeah she is sorry.

[lgspot]

I did save most of my receipts from the materials I bought. I may indeed take her to court. But I'm not really thinking about that right now. I'm exhausted but I cannot sleep. I have visions of her screwing this other guy. I have met him before. He's in his 30s and a lot better looking.

 

She keeps calling and texting but I have just been ignoring it. I let the battery on the phone die.

 

For now I'm going to concentrate on my state contractors test I have coming up. I'm not planning on moving back to my home state. I have nothing there, no family or kin left. And besides, I like it here. I think I can make a fresh start and build a nice business to retire on. People have seen my work and I've already had lots of requests to work on custom homes and such.

 

To hell with her. I'll become a success here and she can pound sand. I'll walk with my head held high and she can see me on the street and know that she could have had a great life with me. Stupid woman. I hope this young lover boy was worth it, because I don't believe he would seriously stay with her for the long haul. It still hurts though, and I still feel like a chump.

 

YOU ARE NOT A CHUMP!!!!

You did good things for a woman you cared about....

Her actions are on her...

 

 

Regroup and you can have a successful business again.

She did what she did----not a case of "YOU" letting her.

Might prove interesting to know more of her history?

 

 

I would suggest you not burn any bridges with her moneyed friends. The could turn out to be some of your best customers...

Let me hear how you're doing.

[beach]

Close your eyes and image where you've always wanted to live.....

 

 

Then move there today!

 

 

And I'd block her from contacting you. You deserve some peace of mind that doesn't include her chaos.

[LifeWasted]

I scoffed at the idea that she could be so cruel as to cherry pick a mark and sucker him in to sell up and haul all his stuff across country so she can get a live in carpenter and get her house tarted up on the cheap...then it occurred to me that if her racket has been going on for so long behind OPs back, isnt it funny that OP finds out at the point where it sounds like most of the work has been done? It all sounds so coincidental as to be more than chance. Perhaps the information was even leaked to OP on purpose to get him to move on nowhe has done his bit?

 

What a horrendous thought. Hopefully the timing is all just coincidence and OP can get fair recompense and put all this behind him.

 

That's a compelling theory. But frankly, I don't think she's that smart or tactically minded.

 

Her ex-husband handled all their money. She is terrible with money. All she knows how to do is mis-spend it. She works as a care worker at a retirement home making peanuts and she got this big old territorial 1890s house in her divorce that she has no funds to fix up or even maintain. I wanted to help her get it restored so she could make a pile selling it and have some money to retire on. I never had any intent of asking for my money back, because I thought I would be with her the rest of my life.

[LifeWasted]

Close your eyes and image where you've always wanted to live.....

 

 

Then move there today!

 

 

And I'd block her from contacting you. You deserve some peace of mind that doesn't include her chaos.

 

I'm ignoring her.

 

I'm not moving. I like it here. I'm going to be a success here. I was back in my home state, and I can do it again. Except this time I won't make all the mistakes that I made business-wise on my first go-around.

 

I'm going to kick ass and then rub her nose in my success.

[LifeWasted]

She sounds like an awful person, to kiss someone else's husband, and right infront of his child, or in a place where at any moment the child could catch them. Either way she sounds like a self centred. If I were you I would break everything I ever built for her, but then again, you may just want to keep it, so she can look at it every day of her life, and be reminded of what a low life she is, and what a sweetheart she lost.

 

I'm not convinced she had anything going on with that old guy. It was a party, it was late and everyone was drunk. That crowd gets a little crazy. I have had to step in at times and get her under control. I was probably in the tv room with some of the other husbands watching football and I think she just hauled off and kissed him when he went to the kitchen to get a beer. It wasn't in private. Lots of people were standing around and saw it.

 

Hell, she and some of her girlfriends would kiss each other in front of all us guys to get us excited. So I'm not putting stock in the idea she and this guy had anything going on. He's a fat bald idiot. His wife is a typical rich snob. She probably sleeps around on him more than he does her. She just doesn't like my GF and her kid probably complained he saw dad kissing my GF, so she got pissed and decided to blow up my world.

[LifeWasted]

Now I will say thi to cover my own @$$ and credibility.

 

......

 

If it turns out that she is just some gal with a woe-is-me story on the internet and he did all of this of his own volition without any encouragement from her at all and she gave absolutely no indication of compensation and he promised all of this for free so she would like him then all bets are off and he is one stupid SOB that should've seen it coming.

 

You got me there. This episode will not go down as one of my finer moments.

 

Oh well, time for bed.

 

Thanks all.

[neowulf]

I'm ignoring her.

 

I'm not moving. I like it here. I'm going to be a success here. I was back in my home state, and I can do it again. Except this time I won't make all the mistakes that I made business-wise on my first go-around.

 

I'm going to kick ass and then rub her nose in my success.

 

I just had to say OP, those are some damn inspiring words. Simply kick ass attitude!

 

I've seen so many people broken down and bitter, given your situation. But you see you rise up, to take control like that. I only wish I could be half that strong.

 

I guess it's true what they say about successful people. You can't knock em' down, but you can't keep them there.

 

Best of luck on your new endeavors. Get out there and show the rest of us how it's done!

[lgspot]

I'm ignoring her.

 

I'm not moving. I like it here. I'm going to be a success here. I was back in my home state, and I can do it again. Except this time I won't make all the mistakes that I made business-wise on my first go-around.

 

I'm going to kick ass and then rub her nose in my success.

 

LifeWasted,

Could you give her my phone number and ask her to call me?

I really want to ask her, WHAT THE F**K WERE YOU THINKING???

I would like to know her thought process....... I really would...

[sandylee1]

I'm ignoring her.

 

I'm not moving. I like it here. I'm going to be a success here. I was back in my home state, and I can do it again. Except this time I won't make all the mistakes that I made business-wise on my first go-around.

 

I'm going to kick ass and then rub her nose in my success.

 

 

I do like your determination. I said up thread that you could make it in business again. Some people have it all and then risk it for nothing. She is such an idiot.

 

She wanted a nice safe provider in you, with a side piece or pieces.

 

It's entirely up to you to seek legal advice, my opinion is that it might not be worth it after the costly legal fees and one cannot put a price on emotions tbh.

 

The best revenge is for a cheating partner to see you living well and thriving. She can forever wallow in the fact that she threw it all away. What a sad woman.

[insert_name]

I did save most of my receipts from the materials I bought. I may indeed take her to court. But I'm not really thinking about that right now. I'm exhausted but I cannot sleep. I have visions of her screwing this other guy. I have met him before. He's in his 30s and a lot better looking.

 

She keeps calling and texting but I have just been ignoring it. I let the battery on the phone die.

 

For now I'm going to concentrate on my state contractors test I have coming up. I'm not planning on moving back to my home state. I have nothing there, no family or kin left. And besides, I like it here. I think I can make a fresh start and build a nice business to retire on. People have seen my work and I've already had lots of requests to work on custom homes and such.

 

To hell with her. I'll become a success here and she can pound sand. I'll walk with my head held high and she can see me on the street and know that she could have had a great life with me. Stupid woman. I hope this young lover boy was worth it, because I don't believe he would seriously stay with her for the long haul. It still hurts though, and I still feel like a chump.

 

Always remember OP: the opposite of love is not hate, its indifference.

 

Live so well that you simply forget she exists, thats the best path you can take.

[fellini]

It's not fraud yet. The PLAN was to sell the house down the road. From what we know, the plan was not: I will sell the house before I cheat on you.

 

Nothing is as sure and legally binding as you purport. How can it be fraud UNTIL she puts the house on the market, sells it, and gives him nothing?

 

There is no fraud, there is only the possibility that he will be defrauded in the future. He cannot force her to sell her own house though can he.

 

He is going to have to find a way to get compensation if he wants his investment back, surely.

 

they had a plan to marry and use the proceeds for a new marital home. That's why he invested his labor and materials. Being unaware of someone else's deceit and fraud doesn't negate that the contract was broken and that the fraud took place.

[No Limit]

Women complain that men today couldn't recognize a good woman if she kicked him in the groin;

obviously the same goes for women not recognizing good men too.

 

I think her behavior should have been a red flag to you, what you describe in those parties sounds like what 16 year olds with too much alcohol do. Nonetheless it's behind you now and your ex seems to get it double; you building yourself up there AND a scorned woman ready to crush her name to the point she'll never be invited anywhere again.