insert_name Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 She's persistent. I am estimating 10 calls and 20 texts, just this morning. She's going to get in trouble at work if she doesn't cool it. Probably just wants to remind you that you never finished the guttering before you left. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 What really irks me is that, prior to meeting her, she had just gotten out of a twenty year marriage where her ex-husband cheated on her constantly. All she did while we were getting to know each other was whine about how badly he treated her. . that was your warning sign. she wanted rebound sex, and YOU were it. but a normal man, one who does not read boards such as this, would not have a clue about that! so she sucked you in. and the fact that you had not had another woman for a LONG time before her...all she had to do was let your hormones run wild with some sexy texts from far away....a real player unfortunately, the rebound affairs are ALWAYS short lived. we could have told u that, but like i said, you would not have any reason to come on a board like this at that time to ask advice. BUT next time....do not sell your business, travel across the country, for someone you met online! that is just NOT the way it is done. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifeWasted Posted March 10, 2015 Author Share Posted March 10, 2015 Probably just wants to remind you that you never finished the guttering before you left. Funny thing is, I only got about half the wood base done in her house. There is probably about 250 lineal feet left to do. I tore out all the old stuff when I sanded and refinished the floors, so she's in for a world of hurt if she tries to get new base made and installed. I custom milled all that base myself, with my own template. It is 1" thick and 8" wide, made from eastern pine. If she wants to finish it, she will have to take one of the pieces off, take it to a mill and have the millers custom mill the base using that piece as a template. Thousands of dollars...and that is before installation cost. Tee hee. 12 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifeWasted Posted March 10, 2015 Author Share Posted March 10, 2015 Besides, maybe there are some single ladies in your friend circle that were only waiting for you to finally become available. Just don't give 100% from the start. Most relationships today consist of the two partners living in their own places and meeting up regularly anyway. Although maybe some more bachelor time and focusing on work will do you good. See that's what irritates me: most of these girlfriends knew what was going on, yet none of them reached out to me until AFTER the cat was out of the bag. I do think there are a couple of single gals who are opportunists, and wouldn't mind me asking them out. But most of that group are married women. Frankly, after all I've seen, I think they are all skanks. It disgusts me the way they stab each other in the backs. I do not need drama in my life. Not like this *****. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
insert_name Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 Funny thing is, I only got about half the wood base done in her house. There is probably about 250 lineal feet left to do. I tore out all the old stuff when I sanded and refinished the floors, so she's in for a world of hurt if she tries to get new base made and installed. I custom milled all that base myself, with my own template. It is 1" thick and 8" wide, made from eastern pine. If she wants to finish it, she will have to take one of the pieces off, take it to a mill and have the millers custom mill the base using that piece as a template. Thousands of dollars...and that is before installation cost. Tee hee. Thats cheered me up immensely 1 Link to post Share on other sites
summerdowling87 Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 Life wasted are you sure that you WGF wasn't the serial cheater in her marriage? Do you know for a fact that her ex-h was cheating or did she tell you this? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifeWasted Posted March 10, 2015 Author Share Posted March 10, 2015 (edited) Life wasted are you sure that you WGF wasn't the serial cheater in her marriage? Do you know for a fact that her ex-h was cheating or did she tell you this? Told to me by her but confirmed by her daughter. That's a good question. From all my talks with her friends and people who know her, there was never any indication she had dione this to her ex. If she had been, then she was very good at hiding it. Edited March 10, 2015 by LifeWasted Link to post Share on other sites
summerdowling87 Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 Ah okay just checking since cheaters are know to lie. Sorry you have to been on this forum. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
irishguy Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 If you have no intention of talking to her again , you should look up apps so you can block her number . 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifeWasted Posted March 10, 2015 Author Share Posted March 10, 2015 I'm not talking to her at this moment. But I will at some point. I'm going to give her the enjoyment of missing me for a while. But at some point I want to meet with her so I can give her an ass-chewing like she's never had one before. I need to tell her off. I'm full of rage. I want to tear her damn head off...literally. That's why I can't see her. I want to wait a couple weeks and get my head together. I'm staying all the way on the other side of town so I won't run into her. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 I wanted to help her get it restored so she could make a pile selling it and have some money to retire on. I never had any intent of asking for my money back, because I thought I would be with her the rest of my life. That is still an investment made for a planned future return on the investment. You did not do it as a gift with no expectation of any form of benefit to you. That will probably still be recognized by the court system as a reasonable expectation and she may still be held liable for compensation of your labor and materials. If there was an actual engagement in place (an accepted proposal of marriage), that is a legally recognized contract for future marriage and people have been held accountable for repayment of engagement rings, wedding deposits, recoupment of housing costs etc etc. As stated earlier this is not a slam-dunk but it's pretty dang close. Do not shoot yourself in the foot financially just because you are mad and disgusted at her. She owes you financially for the investment that you put into your future with her. If you want to start a new business and a new life in that area, the money she owes you for the work you did for her will be a good start. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 When you're cooled off, calmed down, and rational then yeah, definitely talk to her if that will help you process what she's done and help you to let her go and move forward with your life. Do you think it's better to just call her? Or do you plan to see her in person? The risk of seeing her in person means that she will likely try to manipulate you and try to undermine you. Whereas if you just call her, you can maintain control but still be at a safe distance. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 I'm not talking to her at this moment. But I will at some point. I'm going to give her the enjoyment of missing me for a while. But at some point I want to meet with her so I can give her an ass-chewing like she's never had one before. I need to tell her off. I'm full of rage. I want to tear her damn head off...literally. That's why I can't see her. I want to wait a couple weeks and get my head together. I'm staying all the way on the other side of town so I won't run into her. You sound exactly like the kind of guy who is going to blow off steam for a while and then tell her off and make her cry and beg. And then you are going to give her another chance. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 I'm not talking to her at this moment. But I will at some point. I'm going to give her the enjoyment of missing me for a while. But at some point I want to meet with her so I can give her an ass-chewing like she's never had one before. I need to tell her off. I'm full of rage. I want to tear her damn head off...literally. That's why I can't see her. I want to wait a couple weeks and get my head together. I'm staying all the way on the other side of town so I won't run into her. Wrong answer. That will not benefit you in any way and will just be a justification to her on why she was always keeping her options open while seeing you. Take that energy and determination and use it in court. The best closure here will be watching her write out the check ....along with the associated court costs and lawyer fees and lost wages from when you could have been working for paying customers etc etc 4 Link to post Share on other sites
irishguy Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 I'm not talking to her at this moment. But I will at some point. I'm going to give her the enjoyment of missing me for a while. But at some point I want to meet with her so I can give her an ass-chewing like she's never had one before. I need to tell her off. I'm full of rage. I want to tear her damn head off...literally. That's why I can't see her. I want to wait a couple weeks and get my head together. I'm staying all the way on the other side of town so I won't run into her. Her calls and texts will drive you mad , im sure you could block her number and unblock it later if you wanted to talk to her . 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifeWasted Posted March 10, 2015 Author Share Posted March 10, 2015 When you're cooled off, calmed down, and rational then yeah, definitely talk to her if that will help you process what she's done and help you to let her go and move forward with your life. Do you think it's better to just call her? Or do you plan to see her in person? The risk of seeing her in person means that she will likely try to manipulate you and try to undermine you. Whereas if you just call her, you can maintain control but still be at a safe distance. Eye to eye. She's going to look me in the eye and tell me everything. I'm going to ask her what the hell she was thinking. Why she felt it was a good idea to blow up a great relationship. But if she moves her lover boy into her house with her, or continue seeing him, then I won't. I will shake the dust off my feet and walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 Funny thing is, I only got about half the wood base done in her house. There is probably about 250 lineal feet left to do. I tore out all the old stuff when I sanded and refinished the floors, so she's in for a world of hurt if she tries to get new base made and installed. I custom milled all that base myself, with my own template. It is 1" thick and 8" wide, made from eastern pine. If she wants to finish it, she will have to take one of the pieces off, take it to a mill and have the millers custom mill the base using that piece as a template. Thousands of dollars...and that is before installation cost. Tee hee. Ummmmmm Ok now you really need to see a lawyer. You need to protect yourself that she doesn't come back on you to finish the job. If she has this group of all these hoity toity upper crust friends, one of them may be a crafty lawyer that will pursue legal action against you to finish the job or hold you liable for the costs of hiring someone else to finish the job you started. Be proactive and be the one to get to the attorney's office first. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 Eye to eye. She's going to look me in the eye and tell me everything. I'm going to ask her what the hell she was thinking. Why she felt it was a good idea to blow up a great relationship. But if she moves her lover boy into her house with her, or continue seeing him, then I won't. I will shake the dust off my feet and walk away. Just be careful. Protect yourself. And I mean that in the financial sense, the psychological sense and the physical sense. Breakups like this wreak havoc on the mind and the body. The stress hormone Cortisol production increases, sleep and appetite decreases, and the mind races with the full range of emotions until it wears itself out and lapses into a state of fixed anxiety and depression. The problem with confronting a liar and a cheater is that they rarely -- if ever -- satisfy the curiosity of their victim. Mostly what happens is that they spend the time in a defensive stance, tuned out to their victim's recount of the ordeal they put the victim through. Liars and cheaters never prosper, sure, but they are stubborn and self-centered and it's not in their nature to seek forgiveness, or feel any guilt or remorse for their actions. So, do not count on your (now ex) GF hearing what you have to say and showing you the remorse and respect that you deserve. Based on her actions that you've described in this thread, with friends who refused to warn you of what she was doing until it was too late (not good allies to you at all!), I have my doubts that when you choose a time to see her to speak with her in person, that she will 1) agree to it 2) keep that appointment (my guess is she'll flake and not show) and 3) if she does show up, will try to gaslight and manipulate you. If you do meet with her, do it knowing that she probably won't give you what you deserve -- the truth. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifeWasted Posted March 10, 2015 Author Share Posted March 10, 2015 You sound exactly like the kind of guy who is going to blow off steam for a while and then tell her off and make her cry and beg. And then you are going to give her another chance. You think so? Am I that shallow? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifeWasted Posted March 10, 2015 Author Share Posted March 10, 2015 Wrong answer. That will not benefit you in any way and will just be a justification to her on why she was always keeping her options open while seeing you. Take that energy and determination and use it in court. The best closure here will be watching her write out the check ....along with the associated court costs and lawyer fees and lost wages from when you could have been working for paying customers etc etc Hmmmmmm. I will consider that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifeWasted Posted March 10, 2015 Author Share Posted March 10, 2015 Ummmmmm Ok now you really need to see a lawyer. You need to protect yourself that she doesn't come back on you to finish the job. If she has this group of all these hoity toity upper crust friends, one of them may be a crafty lawyer that will pursue legal action against you to finish the job or hold you liable for the costs of hiring someone else to finish the job you started. Be proactive and be the one to get to the attorney's office first. Good point. I have a conference call set up with my lawyer back in my home state on Thirsday. I will ask his advice. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifeWasted Posted March 10, 2015 Author Share Posted March 10, 2015 Thanks for the input everyone. You are a jaundiced, dissolutioned bunch...I'll give you that. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 I'm ignoring her. I'm not moving. I like it here. I'm going to be a success here. I was back in my home state, and I can do it again. Except this time I won't make all the mistakes that I made business-wise on my first go-around. I'm going to kick ass and then rub her nose in my success. Dude, you don't even have to be successful (not that I'm dissuading you from going for success, by all means go for it) You're good, hard working and loyal. She knows what she lost and will spend a long time trying to replace what she lost. Maybe even breaking free and running wild with all these OM's but she'll have to settle down at some point, when her BS isn't flying so much and when she reflects on her life and her brokeness, she'll remember the good things she had in her life and that when the regret will sting. Shoot dude, all she has to do is look around the house and see you everywhere! When stuff starts breaking down and she has to pay for it, she'll think of you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 See that's what irritates me: most of these girlfriends knew what was going on, yet none of them reached out to me until AFTER the cat was out of the bag. I do think there are a couple of single gals who are opportunists, and wouldn't mind me asking them out. But most of that group are married women. Frankly, after all I've seen, I think they are all skanks. It disgusts me the way they stab each other in the backs. I do not need drama in my life. Not like this *****. That should tell you a lot what kind of "friends" they really are. Pity them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifeWasted Posted March 10, 2015 Author Share Posted March 10, 2015 Just got off the phone with my WGF's daughter. Poor kid. She feels bad. I told her I love her and I will always be there for her no matter what happens. Now I'm furious! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts