Author LifeWasted Posted April 13, 2015 Author Posted April 13, 2015 Had a very good weekend. Very little triggers, mostly a positive attitude and I didn't think about her too much. I got to the beach early on Saturday morning before sunrise. I sat in my truck and sipped coffee and watched the sunrise. I took stock of my situation and realized that I was okay. I have a ****load of money in my accounts from the sale of my old business. My taxes were filed and I broke even...don't owe anything to the IRS. I don't owe anyone any money. I'm healthy, not in bad shape and I'm driven. I'm still young enough to marry and even father a kid if I want. Even though I let myself get scammed moving to a new state, I do like it here and the business climate is much better than where I came from. I have the rest of my life ahead of me. I slipped on my drysuit, grabbed my board and paddle, and made my first foray onto the Gulf of Mexico. The water was calm, the tide was low and after only a few minutes of paddling I was out about 400 yards offshore. A school of dolphins came by and checked me out. Don't know what species they were but they were little guys, dark grey with white bellies and very long thin snouts. They chirped at me, circled around me for a few minutes, and went on their way after they found me boring. Then a light rain started falling. I twas warm rain, and I really enjoyed it. Underneath me I could see sting rays gliding back and forth, as well as jellyfish the size of small umbrellas. Eeeeeesh! I don't like jellies. I've been stung by too many. Luckily the water was calm and I never once had to sit down and get my legs in the water. I stayed out about three hours, went back in for more coffee and a sandwich, went back out a couple more hours, visited some pelicans roosting on a buoy, and talked to some fishermen who cruised by to check me out. I guess paddle boarding is not a common thing here. Then I stopped by a seaside restaurant for lunch and while I was at the bar met a nice lady and talked to her for a while. It was nice just to sit and talk to a female without trying to pick her up. Had a good lunch, then I spent the rest of the day shopping before going back to the apartment to clean up. Then I went to friends house that night for a poker game. Had a great time just hanging out with the dudes. By the time I got to bed early the next morning, I realized I had not thought about her almost all day. I think I'm starting to move on. 11
Lunay Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 You sound like a a great guy, who has his head on his shoulders and is secure in who he is and what he wants. It's great to hear you're moving on. You deserve much better. 6
Satu Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 By the time I got to bed early the next morning, I realized I had not thought about her almost all day. I think I'm starting to move on. Sounds like you're doing great. spending time in the outdoors has always been a good way of relaxing for me. Whilst you were on the water, I was doing aerobatics in a clear blue sky. Got home tired and happy 3
casey.lives Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 maybe you're just going through a rough patch. be optimistic. you loved each other.. once, you can do it again 1
drifter777 Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 Great idea to fill your life with work and enjoyable activities. It helps you to be good and tired when you hit the sack and sleep instead of ruminate about all of this. Its a great way to live, in general, but especially now as you are working to break the obsession and heal this hurt. 3
CarrieT Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 LW, your weekend sounded delightful! And your optimism is compelling... You ARE going to be fine and I predict you'll have someone special in your life in fairly short order. 2
lgspot Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 Had a very good weekend. Very little triggers, mostly a positive attitude and I didn't think about her too much. I got to the beach early on Saturday morning before sunrise. I sat in my truck and sipped coffee and watched the sunrise. I took stock of my situation and realized that I was okay. I have a ****load of money in my accounts from the sale of my old business. My taxes were filed and I broke even...don't owe anything to the IRS. I don't owe anyone any money. I'm healthy, not in bad shape and I'm driven. I'm still young enough to marry and even father a kid if I want. Even though I let myself get scammed moving to a new state, I do like it here and the business climate is much better than where I came from. I have the rest of my life ahead of me. I slipped on my drysuit, grabbed my board and paddle, and made my first foray onto the Gulf of Mexico. The water was calm, the tide was low and after only a few minutes of paddling I was out about 400 yards offshore. A school of dolphins came by and checked me out. Don't know what species they were but they were little guys, dark grey with white bellies and very long thin snouts. They chirped at me, circled around me for a few minutes, and went on their way after they found me boring. Then a light rain started falling. I twas warm rain, and I really enjoyed it. Underneath me I could see sting rays gliding back and forth, as well as jellyfish the size of small umbrellas. Eeeeeesh! I don't like jellies. I've been stung by too many. Luckily the water was calm and I never once had to sit down and get my legs in the water. I stayed out about three hours, went back in for more coffee and a sandwich, went back out a couple more hours, visited some pelicans roosting on a buoy, and talked to some fishermen who cruised by to check me out. I guess paddle boarding is not a common thing here. Then I stopped by a seaside restaurant for lunch and while I was at the bar met a nice lady and talked to her for a while. It was nice just to sit and talk to a female without trying to pick her up. Had a good lunch, then I spent the rest of the day shopping before going back to the apartment to clean up. Then I went to friends house that night for a poker game. Had a great time just hanging out with the dudes. By the time I got to bed early the next morning, I realized I had not thought about her almost all day. I think I'm starting to move on. Hang in there LW, the bikinis will be out soon and won't be just the dolphins to look at. 6
Author LifeWasted Posted April 13, 2015 Author Posted April 13, 2015 Sounds like you're doing great. spending time in the outdoors has always been a good way of relaxing for me. Whilst you were on the water, I was doing aerobatics in a clear blue sky. Got home tired and happy I have a friend in LaJolla who owns a Steerman bi-plane. You and him would hit it off. 1
Author LifeWasted Posted April 13, 2015 Author Posted April 13, 2015 maybe you're just going through a rough patch. be optimistic. you loved each other.. once, you can do it again Yeah...problem is, there is this other man you see... 3
Author LifeWasted Posted April 13, 2015 Author Posted April 13, 2015 Great idea to fill your life with work and enjoyable activities. It helps you to be good and tired when you hit the sack and sleep instead of ruminate about all of this. Its a great way to live, in general, but especially now as you are working to break the obsession and heal this hurt. If any of you live near the water I highly recommend paddle-boarding. When I stopped wave surfing due to a back injury, I took up paddle-boarding and I fell in love with it. You can do it on lakes and any still to mildly wavy water. There is almost no learning curve. Any person who is reasonably fit can learn. You can stand up, kneel or sit and paddle. The boards are very stable. Its a quiet, relaxing way to get out and enjoy the ocean without putting yourself in danger. And because it is quiet and unobtrusive you don' scare away sea animals. Off the California coast, on more than one occasion, I have had gray whales come right up to next to me and stick their huge eye out of the water to get a look at me. A friend of mine had a baby grey come up to him for a scratch. 7
Satu Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 I was thinking about the oceans yesterday, and how most of the life on this planet lives there. It really is a water world. 4
Author LifeWasted Posted April 13, 2015 Author Posted April 13, 2015 I was thinking about the oceans yesterday, and how most of the life on this planet lives there. It really is a water world. You know what's strange? I am actually afraid of the ocean. My dad got me into surfing (he was one of Cali's original surf bums) to get me over my fear of the ocean, but I never did completely. I don't like going out on the open ocean. I don't like being on boats where I'm not the one driving, and I do get seasick. I can play in the surf all day, snorkel and scuba dive close to shore, and paddle-board, but no open ocean for me. Nope. 2
No Limit Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 you loved each other.. once, you can do it again Not "each other". She loved her picture in the mirror. But there'll be a woman someday where the "each other" is correct, no doubt about it. 5
I_Give_Up67 Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 You know what's strange? I am actually afraid of the ocean. My dad got me into surfing (he was one of Cali's original surf bums) to get me over my fear of the ocean, but I never did completely. I don't like going out on the open ocean. I don't like being on boats where I'm not the one driving, and I do get seasick. I can play in the surf all day, snorkel and scuba dive close to shore, and paddle-board, but no open ocean for me. Nope. Don't feel bad about getting seasick, I've been offshore boating in the GOM and the Atlantic for 11 years operating my own boats, and still got sick. Last year I tried the patches and have not gotten sick at sea since. This past Saturday we played around looking for grouper all day 40 miles offshore, is was very peaceful and relaxing out there. Give the patches a try if you ever go boating on the open water again. 2
Satu Posted April 13, 2015 Posted April 13, 2015 You know what's strange? I am actually afraid of the ocean. My dad got me into surfing (he was one of Cali's original surf bums) to get me over my fear of the ocean, but I never did completely. I don't like going out on the open ocean. I don't like being on boats where I'm not the one driving, and I do get seasick. I can play in the surf all day, snorkel and scuba dive close to shore, and paddle-board, but no open ocean for me. Nope. I totally understand that fear, and I have a degree of it myself. I used to kayak, but never far out from the beach. The sea is a dangerous place. There's massive amounts of energy in that water, that can cause incredible destruction. I like to see the beach! I'm also scared of heights, but I love to fly. I don't like looking down from a cliff or tall building, but I'm totally happy flying, knowing that my parachute will get me out of trouble and quickly back on the ground if something goes wrong. The oceans are a much more hostile and unforgiving environment. Too hostile and unforgiving for me. 1
Author LifeWasted Posted April 14, 2015 Author Posted April 14, 2015 Jesus she wont give up! She left me a msg on my company voicemail asking me to call her and talk to her. She wants us to start over, wants me to forgive her, and says she is no longer seeing her OM. Of course I know that is a lie. I'm ignoring it, but I just don't get it. Her OM should be busy ****ing her into sexual bliss...why is she trying to get back with me? 7
Buckeye2 Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Jesus she wont give up! She left me a msg on my company voicemail asking me to call her and talk to her. She wants us to start over, wants me to forgive her, and says she is no longer seeing her OM. It’s like a drug addict coming off their high. Now they want a place to sleep and some good food. 6
Author LifeWasted Posted April 14, 2015 Author Posted April 14, 2015 It’s like a drug addict coming off their high. Now they want a place to sleep and some good food. I'll buy her some Doritos if she'll leave me alone. 5
I_Give_Up67 Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 Jesus she wont give up! She left me a msg on my company voicemail asking me to call her and talk to her. She wants us to start over, wants me to forgive her, and says she is no longer seeing her OM. Of course I know that is a lie. I'm ignoring it, but I just don't get it. Her OM should be busy ****ing her into sexual bliss...why is she trying to get back with me? Because she has realized that she will never find another "you"! The man that loved her enough to sell his business and moved across the country to be with her. The man that helped out with the household chores. The man that accepted her daughter and treated her like his own. She is agonizing over her f**k up right now. She realizes she screwed the pooch here! Personally, I'd continue to ignore her ass and never say another word to her. Let her suffer like she made you suffer. 3
BlueIris Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 (edited) Personally, I'd continue to ignore her ass and never say another word to her. Let her suffer like she made you suffer. On the other hand, if you really want to end it and move on, tell her in an email or text message (that you keep a printed record of in your files): “Don’t contact me again. If you continue to harass me I will get a restraining order.” That’s really being done with her and it will end the “she keeps contacting me” cycle. THEN you have true NC. But if you like seeing her beg and plead, well… enjoy. Personally, I think it keeps the wound from healing, and it’s a way of continuing the relationship, but it’s up to you. If I started dating a guy who was still in a power-struggle mindset over his ex, I'd consider him still involved with someone else, not emotionally and psychological single. Edited April 14, 2015 by BlueIris 3
Author LifeWasted Posted April 14, 2015 Author Posted April 14, 2015 Because she has realized that she will never find another "you"! The man that loved her enough to sell his business and moved across the country to be with her. The man that helped out with the household chores. The man that accepted her daughter and treated her like his own. She is agonizing over her f**k up right now. She realizes she screwed the pooch here! Personally, I'd continue to ignore her ass and never say another word to her. Let her suffer like she made you suffer. Yes you are right. I just get pissed when I see her e-mails. I should have the wherewithal not to open them but I'm too curious. It is like watching a really gruesome horror film. You don't really want to watch it, but you can't take your eyes away . I am ignoring her. 6
Author LifeWasted Posted April 14, 2015 Author Posted April 14, 2015 O But if you like seeing her beg and plead, well… enjoy. Personally, I think it keeps the wound from healing, and it’s a way of continuing the relationship, but it’s up to you. If I started dating a guy who was still in a power-struggle mindset over his ex, I'd consider him still involved with someone else, not emotionally and psychological single. I agree totally. This is one reason I have not been in a hurry to date again. 3
BlueIris Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 That’s good. It’s annoying to date someone and find out that they’re “not over” their ex. You think, “Well, dang, what were you doing dating then?” I'm glad you don't do that. 3
Author LifeWasted Posted April 14, 2015 Author Posted April 14, 2015 That’s good. It’s annoying to date someone and find out that they’re “not over” their ex. You think, “Well, dang, what were you doing dating then?” I'm glad you don't do that. No I would not do that. I have dated women who were on the rebound and I don't like being the trampoline. No thanks. 3
No Limit Posted April 14, 2015 Posted April 14, 2015 I'll buy her some Doritos if she'll leave me alone. She doesn't want Doritos, she wants cake goddamnit! 6
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