10thengineerharrison Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 This daughter probably realises that you were a stable influence - maybe the ONLY one if all accounts of her mother and father are even remotely correct. At her young age I hope she takes something away from this besides sadness and that is that infidelity is bound to hurt SOME ONE and usually when it all comes out, it can be shattering to many people. Life lessons hard learnt. I hope she learnt something at least. LW just be careful there. You may be a very honorable man BUT OPs including parents can get really weird about these relationships continuing regardless of their innocence. Not insinuating, just see weird assumptions, accusations and worse, charges laid on people regularly in my work. It pays to protect yourself. I would make sure NEVER to be alone with this girl. ALWAYS meet in a very public place in daylight, if at all. Sometimes other relationships are collateral damage. Sad but true. Just trying to watch your back. LH Woody Allen comes to mind. Not that I think anybody else in the Free World would do what he's done, but the way peoples' imaginations fly off the handle these days, it's something to be wary of. -10th Engineer Harrison 4 Link to post Share on other sites
irishguy Posted March 15, 2015 Share Posted March 15, 2015 Ok man you need to stay positive , you have a lot to look forward to , a new place , good job .Once your settled you should join some meet up groups for something you have an interest in , meet some new people to do things with .Best time of year for a fresh start . 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifeWasted Posted March 15, 2015 Author Share Posted March 15, 2015 Well hopefully you feel supported here. Thatg means a lot. Thank you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifeWasted Posted March 15, 2015 Author Share Posted March 15, 2015 Ok man you need to stay positive , you have a lot to look forward to , a new place , good job .Once your settled you should join some meet up groups for something you have an interest in , meet some new people to do things with .Best time of year for a fresh start . Well I did move into an apartment today. Its nothing great, but its a nice one. I don't plan on joining any meetup sites. I have a sports bar that I go to and I've been meeting people there and establishing a presence. I'm starting to slowly make friends. And ai'm making friends with the guys at my work. So I'll be good. My main goal now is to get my contractor's license. I have the study guide and I've been going over it. This week I will be getting my bonding taken care of and once that is in place I'll take my test. One thing at a time. I've done a good job of keeping thoughts about my WWGF out of my head. Except at night. Nights are hard. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted March 15, 2015 Share Posted March 15, 2015 Well I did move into an apartment today. Its nothing great, but its a nice one. I don't plan on joining any meetup sites. I have a sports bar that I go to and I've been meeting people there and establishing a presence. I'm starting to slowly make friends. And ai'm making friends with the guys at my work. So I'll be good. My main goal now is to get my contractor's license. I have the study guide and I've been going over it. This week I will be getting my bonding taken care of and once that is in place I'll take my test. One thing at a time. I've done a good job of keeping thoughts about my WWGF out of my head. Except at night. Nights are hard. Exactly: one thing at a time. Glad to hear you found your own place, and that you found a place (the sports bar) where you socialize. Good luck with your contractor license test etc.,. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifeWasted Posted March 15, 2015 Author Share Posted March 15, 2015 Thank you Writergal. You have been huge to me through al this. Wish I could reach through my screen and give you a hug. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted March 15, 2015 Share Posted March 15, 2015 Well I did move into an apartment today. Its nothing great, but its a nice one. I don't plan on joining any meetup sites. I have a sports bar that I go to and I've been meeting people there and establishing a presence. I'm starting to slowly make friends. And ai'm making friends with the guys at my work. So I'll be good. My main goal now is to get my contractor's license. I have the study guide and I've been going over it. This week I will be getting my bonding taken care of and once that is in place I'll take my test. One thing at a time. I've done a good job of keeping thoughts about my WWGF out of my head. Except at night. Nights are hard. Why are you getting a contractors license there? You are better off moving far away from your cheating GF. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifeWasted Posted March 16, 2015 Author Share Posted March 16, 2015 i like this town. I really do. And the market is picking up for both commercial and residential construction. Both markets flatlined in the state I came from. I stand poised to do alot of business here. As for the exWGF, Im not afraid of her. If I run into her I will be cordial. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
happyman64 Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 So Step One Get your license. STep 2 Go after some new clients and make some $$$. Step 3 ? On another note: After you wrote about ExGF friend in the Sports Bar I wonder how many of her friends are screwing around on their husbands??? I think that is a group of phonies you don't need to associate with. Except of course you are doing work in their homes or dropping a line to the Husband "Hey I saw your wife at the bar the other night, she looked like she was all dolled up to meet someone...." 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifeWasted Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 So Step One Get your license. STep 2 Go after some new clients and make some $$$. Step 3 ? On another note: After you wrote about ExGF friend in the Sports Bar I wonder how many of her friends are screwing around on their husbands??? I think that is a group of phonies you don't need to associate with. Except of course you are doing work in their homes or dropping a line to the Husband "Hey I saw your wife at the bar the other night, she looked like she was all dolled up to meet someone...." That is the plan. I got my bonding approved today. My test is set for first week of April. I don't know how many of those gals were screwing around, but I do know that they got out of hand sometimes at the parties. I told you the chicks would get drunk at these parties and kiss each other? Well, these aren't college girls, these were mature soccer moms in their late 30s and early 40s... acting like rowdy teens. My exWGF would join in sometimes. I, along with the other boyfriends and husbands, would stand off to the side and just watch them bemused. Hen parties were frequent and usually ended up in my exWGF coming home after midnight, drunk off her ass. I'm so glad I won't be putting up with that crap anymore. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I'm surprised any sane guy would want one of those as serious partner. Ah well. Good luck for your test. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Sounds like your planing your life better. If you like that City I completely agree. I live in a small city and I did what I could to avoid her but aside of that I just went on living my life. Your x will get hers in time. Some are just to stupid or messed up to see a good thing when they have it. My xW just ran off of the man she cheated on me with. She can continue screwing up her life. Just focus on you and building a good life for you. There are far better women out there. I personally would encourage her going and being with one of those guys. Its great when you see them years later with that look on there face like WTF. Clay 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifeWasted Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 Sounds like your planing your life better. If you like that City I completely agree. I live in a small city and I did what I could to avoid her but aside of that I just went on living my life. Your x will get hers in time. Some are just to stupid or messed up to see a good thing when they have it. My xW just ran off of the man she cheated on me with. She can continue screwing up her life. Just focus on you and building a good life for you. There are far better women out there. I personally would encourage her going and being with one of those guys. Its great when you see them years later with that look on there face like WTF. Clay I'm sorry that happened to you Clay. I don't plan on moving out of this city. In fact, I have my eye on a nice house in the higher-end part of town that is on the market. Back when we were together the exWGF and I drove by it and she commented how much she loved that house and that as long as she can remember she wished she could live there. It has a huge yard and big live oaks. Once I get my taxes taken care of I might talk to the realtor and make an offer on it. How cool would that be? I buy that house, then two or three years from now I move the new Mrs. LifeWasted in there with me. ExWGF can look on longingly from a distance knowing it could have been hers... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Lion Heart Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Once I get my taxes taken care of I might talk to the realtor and make an offer on it. How cool would that be? I buy that house, then two or three years from now I move the new Mrs. LifeWasted in there with me. ExWGF can look on longingly from a distance knowing it could have been hers... Hold on a minute! The new GORGEOUS, FAITHFUL Mrs Life created you meant didn't you? Ha ha While exWGF still has half finished floors that no one will do for her. Poor thing. Ha ha. Well done LW. It's all good from now on hey? Lion Heart. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifeWasted Posted March 19, 2015 Author Share Posted March 19, 2015 Hold on a minute! The new GORGEOUS, FAITHFUL Mrs Life created you meant didn't you? Ha ha While exWGF still has half finished floors that no one will do for her. Poor thing. Ha ha. Well done LW. It's all good from now on hey? Lion Heart. Well I hope I do find a gorgeous and faithful woman. But I will make do with just faithful if that's all I can find. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifeWasted Posted March 19, 2015 Author Share Posted March 19, 2015 I may come across as upbeat but I'm really struggling. I range between crying sad, hopping mad, indifferent then to upbeat. I've been cycling through all these emotions about three times an hour. This is the same crap I went through all those many years ago with my ex wife. I hate this. No sleep, no appetite, anxiety, self-doubt. I'm thinking about seeing some kind of therapist to figure out why I pick these ringers. Anybody have a suggestion? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
I_Give_Up67 Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 LW- It does get better. A month from now you will be in a different place than you are today. I know you have been through this before and know this already. Thankfully we all have LS to vent! I did not have this luxury so many years ago when I went through my own turmoil and that led to some very destructive and self damaging behavior. So go ahead and let those emotions run their course but you need not keep them pinned up inside. Just don't give up on being happy again in the future. Your special someone is somewhere out there waiting until you are ready! Hang in there! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 In this forum it's called "emotional rollercoaster" for a reason, and it's ever-present in the "Breaking Up" section of this forum. Give yourself time to heal, it won't go away in just a few weeks. Thankfully it wasn't really that you wasted your whole life in this situation, just some time. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 I may come across as upbeat but I'm really struggling. I range between crying sad, hopping mad, indifferent then to upbeat. I've been cycling through all these emotions about three times an hour. This is the same crap I went through all those many years ago with my ex wife. I hate this. No sleep, no appetite, anxiety, self-doubt. I'm thinking about seeing some kind of therapist to figure out why I pick these ringers. Anybody have a suggestion? Don't beat yourself up LW. How could you possibly know that your girlfriend would cheat on you the way that she did? Some behaviors are easier to disguise than others where cheaters are concerned. The emotional rollercoaster you're experiencing is totally normal because this just happened to you, so it's all fresh. Seeing a therapist is a great idea. That will help you process the breakup and cycle through all these emotions that you feel, to bring you understanding and healing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lgspot Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I may come across as upbeat but I'm really struggling. I range between crying sad, hopping mad, indifferent then to upbeat. I've been cycling through all these emotions about three times an hour. This is the same crap I went through all those many years ago with my ex wife. I hate this. No sleep, no appetite, anxiety, self-doubt. I'm thinking about seeing some kind of therapist to figure out why I pick these ringers. Anybody have a suggestion? Hang in there. Time is your friend.... A Therapist might be a good idea. If you decide, take the time to research a good one. In this breakup, you're also dealing from withdrawal from a child. Never easy even if she isn't yours. Look, she was obviously into a lifestyle you knew nothing about. Not your fault. Doesn't mean she didn't love you or that your feelings weren't reciprocated. Don't doubt yourself for her faults.... Hell, who knows----maybe the house was in need of a plumber too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Panda9080 Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 dont blame yourself, just move on. Luckily you are not married to her yet. Plenty of fish in the sea. Things happen for a reason. People come to your life for different reasons. Don't you agree that you have learnt a lot of things from the whole incidence? Good luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
happyman64 Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Your emotions are still pretty fresh. Just take it one day at a time. Remember: Get license. Check. Get new clients. Check. Establish yourself and start making better, bigger bucks. Check. Find new woman. Faithful. Very cute or gorgeous. Make sure she is just a few years younger than ExGF just to taunt her a little. Check. Have a great life! Check. Check. Check. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mazerati Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 With all that has happened, you are turning lemons into lemonade. For sure it is a emotional rollercoaster ride, but the strategies you are using is very healthy and sound. Hats off to you!! You've listened to the posters and gleaned what you needed to get your life back on track. The experience of those here proved invaluable. Keep up the good work, and continued success!!! Don't let these women prevent from looking for your life mate. You life most certainly is not a waste. Maz 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifeWasted Posted March 20, 2015 Author Share Posted March 20, 2015 Thank you all. I have read each of your posts over and over and all of you are right. I can't blame myself and I need to start loving myself more than I have. Work in progress. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Hope Shimmers Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Thank you all. I have read each of your posts over and over and all of you are right. I can't blame myself and I need to start loving myself more than I have. Work in progress. LifeWasted, I have to apologize for my earlier post to you on this thread. I really am sorry. I was so struck by how you seemed to be so totally emotionally 'together' and making all the right decisions for your life. It just seemed surreal. I had no right to question the authenticity of anything. I was wrong. You are clearly a guy who has it together. Your ex really lost a good one when she cheated on you. I'm sure it won't be long before you are snatched up by someone who will treat you as you deserve. I am sure too that you will use this as a learning experience not to give up so much of your life for a woman you didn't know as well as you might have. You clearly are making some pretty awesome lemonade out of the bunch of lemons you were handed. Kudos to you. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
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