She Ruined My Life, and I Let Her

[Lion Heart]

Got a call from one of the guys this morning. The xWGF is back with her boy toy. They went to a party last night and had a ball. She's not hiding him anymore.

 

Well let's see, are we surprised???

 

And with a very sexually promiscuous MOTHER and FATHER, plus all the gene pool the DD has inherited, WHO'S GONNA HELP THIS CHILD??? Has she even GOT a positive role model now Life's gone? Certainly not in her parents.

 

I live in Australia and this part of my contract is enforced by law: mandatory reporting to child protection services.

If DD was here and I knew this first hand or even by second hand sources, I'd have to report this. I can be charged or even jailed for being complicit by not reporting.

 

Sometimes I complain that we "live in a Police State" but I AM ALL for the laws that protect children. In fact there are not enough of those laws! Mixed with societies and/or cultures that think this type of crazy behaviour is acceptable, some children have little hope to live what's even near a "normal life" - uggghh whatever THAT is!

 

I'm just having a rant / screaming out for DD.

 

Life this isn't your ball to catch. I'm not sure WHOSE it is. Just had to say it. Sad face for yet another girl living in a cheater's world and to "know" this as "normal". Boy is it common but it's NOT NORMAL!

 

Lion Heart

Edited April 5, 2015 by Lion Heart

[dreamingoftigers]

Well let's see, are we surprised???

 

And with a very sexually promiscuous MOTHER and FATHER, plus all the gene pool the DD has inherited, WHO'S GONNA HELP THIS CHILD??? Has she even GOT a positive role model now Life's gone? Certainly not in her parents.

 

I live in Australia and this part of my contract is enforced by law: mandatory reporting to child protection services.

If DD was here and I knew this first hand or even by second hand sources, I'd have to report this. I can be charged or even jailed for being complicit by not reporting.

 

Sometimes I complain that we "live in a Police State" but I AM ALL for the laws that protect children. In fact there are not enough of those laws! Mixed with societies and/or cultures that think this type of crazy behaviour is acceptable, some children have little hope to live what's even near a "normal life" - uggghh whatever THAT is!

 

I'm just having a rant / screaming out for DD.

 

Life this isn't your ball to catch. I'm not sure WHOSE it is. Just had to say it. Sad face for yet another girl living in a cheater's world and to "know" this as "normal". Boy is it common but it's NOT NORMAL!

 

Lion Heart

 

As much as I think cheating should be on the list for domestic violence and abuse, I doubt reporting a woman's shifting relationships would ring any alarm bells at CPS.

 

Tell them that you splashed water in the tub on your kid and they will seize them. But don't mention that this child is living in an environment where they meet a new "Daddy" every six weeks.

[Lion Heart]

As much as I think cheating should be on the list for domestic violence and abuse, I doubt reporting a woman's shifting relationships would ring any alarm bells at CPS.

 

Tell them that you splashed water in the tub on your kid and they will seize them. But don't mention that this child is living in an environment where they meet a new "Daddy" every six weeks.

 

Oh yes!! I agree ^^^^^. Lol if it wasn't so true.

 

We call it "too many uncles and aunties visiting" in my trade and we do have to report it. Sigh far too often. Police State remember.

 

A father was jailed for 5y for leaving his live porn open at midnight and his 8yo son viewing it. There were previous misdemeanors but he's gone.

 

Sorry to t/j.

 

Maybe she could be referred for housing her child in a house with half finished floors! Wink wink.

 

LH

[Paterlany]

LW. I moved to be with my boy. But we both work in close fields are both financially independent. I couldn`t just make the change to another country without securing myself first and my boy agreed and if he had moved to me then i would be the same. We knew eachother a long time before as well. That helped I am sorry it went wrong. LW

 

But this gene that makes people cheat. No. If everyone who cheated on me had this gene then i would not care how much it hurted. Becuase they would have done it. Anyways.

It is projection of a weakness to believe this.

[LifeWasted]

Well let's see, are we surprised???

 

And with a very sexually promiscuous MOTHER and FATHER, plus all the gene pool the DD has inherited, WHO'S GONNA HELP THIS CHILD??? Has she even GOT a positive role model now Life's gone? Certainly not in her parents.

 

I live in Australia and this part of my contract is enforced by law: mandatory reporting to child protection services.

If DD was here and I knew this first hand or even by second hand sources, I'd have to report this. I can be charged or even jailed for being complicit by not reporting.

 

Sometimes I complain that we "live in a Police State" but I AM ALL for the laws that protect children. In fact there are not enough of those laws! Mixed with societies and/or cultures that think this type of crazy behaviour is acceptable, some children have little hope to live what's even near a "normal life" - uggghh whatever THAT is!

 

I'm just having a rant / screaming out for DD.

 

Life this isn't your ball to catch. I'm not sure WHOSE it is. Just had to say it. Sad face for yet another girl living in a cheater's world and to "know" this as "normal". Boy is it common but it's NOT NORMAL!

 

Lion Heart

 

I worry about her too. But she is a good kid with her head screwed on. She knows what her mom is doing isn't right.

 

I went to Oz back in the 1990s. Absolutely loved it. I was there for two weeks and I would love to go again. In fact I think once I'm settled in this new company I will do so. Thinking about it perks me up from the gloom I'm in.

[Hope Shimmers]

In fact my screen name I_Give_Up, is to reflect what I've done until I can get myself "fixed".

 

I don't think you need fixing at all. I think you need a new screen name too.

[Hope Shimmers]

I worry about her too. But she is a good kid with her head screwed on. She knows what her mom is doing isn't right.

 

I went to Oz back in the 1990s. Absolutely loved it. I was there for two weeks and I would love to go again. In fact I think once I'm settled in this new company I will do so. Thinking about it perks me up from the gloom I'm in.

 

Life, you have everything to look forward to.

 

I will admit, part of me has been worried that you might consider going back to her. Please don't.

[AprilTears]

Got a call from one of the guys this morning. The xWGF is back with her boy toy. They went to a party last night and had a ball. She's not hiding him anymore.

 

I've had the same happen to me. It doesn't matter if we "dodged a bullet" or are "better off" it still hurts like a mother fuc*er! With my ex he just couldn't be alone. He freaked out when I discovered his indiscretions and tried to get me back but when I kept ignoring he went right back to that person again. He settled because he did not know how to be alone. People also said to me, "it won't last" but guess what? It did. Going on 2 years now...

 

I don't care anymore of course and you will get there too but you already know that. You also know that it takes time. I'm so sorry for your pain. It sucks!!

[lgspot]

Life, you have everything to look forward to.

 

I will admit, part of me has been worried that you might consider going back to her. Please don't.

LW,

There's a lot of people on here that like you.

Just wanted to say, even should you take her back--I'm still in your corner.

Keep coming back...

[Lion Heart]

Life, you have everything to look forward to.

 

I will admit, part of me has been worried that you might consider going back to her. Please don't.

 

Ahhhh no. He won't. Another dose of that? Woah, bl**dy well hope not. Sometimes it's not "better the devil you know"!

 

I'm so happy you're confident that exWGF DD has her head screwed on. My work makes me super paranoid about the safety of children on any level.

 

If you want to mail DD a birthday present, you could buy her "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey. Plus the tape of "Highly ineffective people" too, SUCH a laugh!

 

The 1st book is all about character building and will stand her in good stead for the rest of her life. Just a thought.

LH

[Lion Heart]

I went to Oz back in the 1990s. Absolutely loved it. I was there for two weeks and I would love to go again. In fact I think once I'm settled in this new company I will do so. Thinking about it perks me up from the gloom I'm in.

 

Well how rude to not get together and have a beer, oh that's right I don't drink beer!

 

Not the place to advertise Oz but allow me to anyway.

Uluru is incredible.

Kakadu.

The Great Barrier Reef is dying & bleaching so Fijis better there IMO.

 

I look out on a huge bay while I'm writing on LS. I forget how cold it can get over there. When someone mentions snow, I'm like THATS RIGHT it does snow in places. Lol.

We've got 100s of beaches in our area.

Beach culture for sure but alot of drugs too.

 

I'll let WH know you're keen to visit Oz Life. Maybe you can box his ears! Ha ha only joking.

 

LH

[Lion Heart]

LW,

There's a lot of people on here that like you.

Just wanted to say, even should you take her back--I'm still in your corner.

Keep coming back...

 

Ditto ^^^^ but she's not gonna be coming to Oz with you, surely? Lol. Although. .... my WH.... and ....your exWGF would probably be SO right for each other!

 

You know at times I feel SO MEAN I just hope my WH falls desperately in lerve with his next gf and she cheats on him like yours or he has done. I just wish he knew what it felt like.

 

Lion Heart.

[fellini]

I like this response if only for the fact that those of us who know next to nothing about the exGF do not need to piss on her in order to show support to LW.

 

Life you are "better off" because you did what YOU had to do. Not because you are without her. Had you wanted to work through and try to save your relationship, I and maybe 3 others would have supported that too.

 

What an EX does when s/he learns a deal breaker is a deal breaker is not really food for fodder, in my book.

 

That a woman who put herself in two relationships does not want to come up empty handed with ZILCH does not surprise me. But this does not mean that had a different approach been taken she would still be with her AP.

 

When DDay struck in my home, I gave my WW 3 months to be able to show me some degree of confidence to stay together. It was a bit of a forced date because we had already booked 3 tickets (which she allowed us to do - essentially fork out about 4000 dollars in the middle of an affair with her single AP) to spend our summer back in North America with family. My point to her was if I couldn't feel that sufficient forward movement was made, I would not be bringing her along.

 

Well the date nearly arrived. We had just attended a session of MC and she lied to the therapist about her AP being in love with her. I don't know why she did it, but I decided that if she was going to lie to a therapist in front of me, we were wasting our money in therapy. So I told her we would be travelling alone, my daughter and I.

 

She freaked out. The short end is: It was "only" 3 months in and she was sure if we left her there, alone (well - with her mother) she would end up back with him. (Of course this realisation all came out after our trip, not on that day) If there is one thing she was able to admit from go it was that she was an incredibly WEAK WOMAN. Too weak to talk to me about her affair, too weak to stand up to the AP breaking her rules of engagement, too weak to stop him from getting her more and more involved than she supposedly desired, and too weak to END IT HERSELF. Hence DDAY.

 

There is no explaining the behaviours of a weak, vulnerable person.

 

But then again, you don't have to, the relationship ended on dday.

 

It seems your questions have been met. I wish you luck LW and I hope you don't come away from this with a low opinion of everyone else. Trust no one, but trust something.

 

I'd stick around by Im not really interested in talking about stick shift and stuff like that. :-)

 

I've had the same happen to me. It doesn't matter if we "dodged a bullet" or are "better off" it still hurts like a mother fuc*er! With my ex he just couldn't be alone. He freaked out when I discovered his indiscretions and tried to get me back but when I kept ignoring he went right back to that person again. He settled because he did not know how to be alone. People also said to me, "it won't last" but guess what? It did. Going on 2 years now...

 

I don't care anymore of course and you will get there too but you already know that. You also know that it takes time. I'm so sorry for your pain. It sucks!!

Edited April 6, 2015 by fellini

[HurtOfGlass]

I don't understand his concern about an xGF's daughter (that too a grown up one).....

 

Who do you think you are? Mother Teresa?

[LifeWasted]

Life, you have everything to look forward to.

 

I will admit, part of me has been worried that you might consider going back to her. Please don't.

 

No I won't do that.

[LifeWasted]

I've had the same happen to me. It doesn't matter if we "dodged a bullet" or are "better off" it still hurts like a mother fuc*er! With my ex he just couldn't be alone. He freaked out when I discovered his indiscretions and tried to get me back but when I kept ignoring he went right back to that person again. He settled because he did not know how to be alone. People also said to me, "it won't last" but guess what? It did. Going on 2 years now...

 

I don't care anymore of course and you will get there too but you already know that. You also know that it takes time. I'm so sorry for your pain. It sucks!!

 

I think it's the same with her. I was a replacement husband.

[LifeWasted]

Well how rude to not get together and have a beer, oh that's right I don't drink beer!

 

Not the place to advertise Oz but allow me to anyway.

Uluru is incredible.

Kakadu.

The Great Barrier Reef is dying & bleaching so Fijis better there IMO.

 

I look out on a huge bay while I'm writing on LS. I forget how cold it can get over there. When someone mentions snow, I'm like THATS RIGHT it does snow in places. Lol.

We've got 100s of beaches in our area.

Beach culture for sure but alot of drugs too.

 

I'll let WH know you're keen to visit Oz Life. Maybe you can box his ears! Ha ha only joking.

 

LH

 

I spent ten days surfing at the Sydney beaches. Dee Why, Brondi and Cronulla. Fantastic. Sydney is a neat city. I wish I had spent more time traveling around but the surf was so good and the women so good looking...

[LifeWasted]

Hope everyone had a great Easter weekend.

[Lion Heart]

I spent ten days surfing at the Sydney beaches. Dee Why, Bondi and Cronulla. Fantastic. Sydney is a neat city. I wish I had spent more time traveling around but the surf was so good and the women so good looking...

 

A few hours south of us.

We've got much cleaner beaches. :-)

 

Sydney is quite pretty for a city. I remember flying back into Sydney airport after being OS. It was a clear sunny day as per usual, and the gasps from all the OS visitors made me see the breathtaking beauty I'd taken for granted. It was an aha moment for me. How lucky I was to be a citizen of such a beautiful country. A "lucky country". Yet still the harder I work, the luckier I get!

 

So I need not to take any moment I have left for granted. I'm heading inside. Catch up soon bro.

Lion Heart.

[LifeWasted]

A few hours south of us.

We've got much cleaner beaches. :-)

 

Sydney is quite pretty for a city. I remember flying back into Sydney airport after being OS. It was a clear sunny day as per usual, and the gasps from all the OS visitors made me see the breathtaking beauty I'd taken for granted. It was an aha moment for me. How lucky I was to be a citizen of such a beautiful country. A "lucky country". Yet still the harder I work, the luckier I get!

 

So I need not to take any moment I have left for granted. I'm heading inside. Catch up soon bro.

Lion Heart.

 

Listen , any beach is cleaner than the California beaches I learned to surf on. I loved the Sydney beaches. What region are you in if I may ask?

 

Australian beaches don't have bull kelp. I got knocked out by a chunk of bull kelp at Topanga Beach back in 1983 and if there had not been a lifeguard on duty watching I wouldn't be posting here now. None of my buds saw me go down, and I was strapped to a 9' gun. I was upside down, chuggin seawater and that board was just dragging me. Full on concussion and two days in the hospital. I wobbled around for two weeks.

 

Those big azz rocks at Bondi? Almost ended my life. Holy f...!

[dreamingoftigers]

I don't understand his concern about an xGF's daughter (that too a grown up one).....

 

Who do you think you are? Mother Teresa?

 

I am sure they think they are Mother Teresa.

[LifeWasted]

Now now. Be nice everyone.

[LifeWasted]

I don't understand his concern about an xGF's daughter (that too a grown up one).....

 

Who do you think you are? Mother Teresa?

 

This is an egalitarian thread. All perspectives are welcome.

 

I for one am glad we have someone on here who cares about the welfare of the kids involved.

[Lion Heart]

Listen , any beach is cleaner than the California beaches I learned to surf on. I loved the Sydney beaches. What region are you in if I may ask?

 

Australian beaches don't have bull kelp. I got knocked out by a chunk of bull kelp at Topanga Beach back in 1983 and if there had not been a lifeguard on duty watching I wouldn't be posting here now. None of my buds saw me go down, and I was strapped to a 9' gun. I was upside down, chuggin seawater and that board was just dragging me. Full on concussion and two days in the hospital. I wobbled around for two weeks.

 

Those big azz rocks at Bondi? Almost ended my life. Holy f...!

 

If I can learn how to initiate a PM, I'll pm you about where we live.

 

Bull kelp knocked you out? That's one lot of heavy seaweed.

Aren't lifeguards incredible? Do they dress as Mother Theresa? Oh that's right they're just nice people who give a sh**. Lol.

 

Back to surfing. I was watching some surfers on the far Northern Beaches of NSW one day. A surfer disappeared near the rocks. No mobile phones then. No life guards on the beach either. It was ages to walk down the cliffs and dangerous. We didn't because we saw some guys paddle over his way and try to find him. He died. Got his head stuck under a rock ledge.

 

As my friend who died of a heart attack surfing in Bali last year. You never know when your last moment on earth will be, so ya may as well be nice and ya may as well be doing what you love.

 

Nighty night Life & hope you had a pleasant Easter.

Lion Heart.

[LifeWasted]

If I can learn how to initiate a PM, I'll pm you about where we live.

 

Bull kelp knocked you out? That's one lot of heavy seaweed.

Aren't lifeguards incredible? Do they dress as Mother Theresa? Oh that's right they're just nice people who give a sh**. Lol.

 

Back to surfing. I was watching some surfers on the far Northern Beaches of NSW one day. A surfer disappeared near the rocks. No mobile phones then. No life guards on the beach either. It was ages to walk down the cliffs and dangerous. We didn't because we saw some guys paddle over his way and try to find him. He died. Got his head stuck under a rock ledge.

 

As my friend who died of a heart attack surfing in Bali last year. You never know when your last moment on earth will be, so ya may as well be nice and ya may as well be doing what you love.

 

Nighty night Life & hope you had a pleasant Easter.

Lion Heart.

 

I watched a guy die at Laguna in '91. So heartbreaking. His girlfriend was just screaming and screaming. He hooked backwards off a big 10 footer and didn't have a leash on. The board shot up, flipped over, came back down and the nose went right into the back of his neck snapping it. He died instantly. I was on the beach taking a break and I heard the surfers out there screaming. Then I saw the lifeguards paddling out. Man it was bad. I and a bunch of others paddled out to see if we could get to him but the lifeguards already had him on his board floating him back. No JetSkis back then.

 

I don't surf anymore. But I still have my 7' Mini Simmons though I cannot bear to part with it. It just stands waiting in the corner of my bedroom.

 

No surfable tide on the gulf coast.