road Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Reminds me of Occam's Razor: the simplest explanation is the right one. I agree with you. There's no reason to believe she did anything other than what she told LW. Not every choice we make is tied to some out-there philosophical reason. Sometimes, it just *is* what it is. No the reason is she is a serial cheater. She just used the standard I was drunk defense. Which sounds so much better then I am a slut defense. 5
dreamingoftigers Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 No the reason is she is a serial cheater. She just used the standard I was drunk defense. Which sounds so much better then I am a slut defense. Actually, if you think about it, that's a pretty good defense. Not too many people are going to argue with that defense. "Why did you cheat on me?" "Because I am a slut." ". . .okay. . ." 6
10thengineerharrison Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Not to threadjack or anything, but isn't "philosophical reason for cheating" kind of an oxymoron? 5
fellini Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 (edited) Not to threadjack or anything, but isn't it "philosophical reason for cheating" kind of an oxymoron? Maybe more of a non sequitur - perhaps. .... "I had a good reason to cheat...." Or the mind bender.... "I thought our marriage was over. So i ended it." Edited April 7, 2015 by fellini 5
Author LifeWasted Posted April 7, 2015 Author Posted April 7, 2015 I believed my xWW's reason. Was it a good one? No. Was it enough of an excuse for me to NOT divorce her? No. We lived the Southern California lifestyle...surfing, parties, booze, pot... I imbibed in the lifestyle myself, but not to the degree she did. She would get black out drunk sometimes and not remember what happened the next day. She was wild and sexy and free spirited, and that's kind of what I liked about her. But those same things that excited me about her were the same personality traits that made her poor wife material. I chose poorly. That failure of a marriage was as much my fault as it was hers: me believing I could make a wife out of her and she believing she could be a wife to any man...which she could not. She continued partying, f_cking and breaking mens' hearts after I left the marriage. I have no idea what she is up to these days. 5
I_Give_Up67 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 LW- Some people are destined to never be domesticated. Blinded by lust and or love, makes that difficult for us to see at times. The thing that counts is you never allowed yourself to remain mired in the dysfunction of either of these relationships. Some people fight to remain with someone they know are severely flawed and end up so damaged themselves, that they can't ever function in a normal relationship. Count your blessings because you were able to pull away before "you" were damaged permanently. 4
Author LifeWasted Posted April 10, 2015 Author Posted April 10, 2015 Heh heh... She has been e-mailing me on my job email. Now she's getting mean. 4
I_Give_Up67 Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 Heh heh... She has been e-mailing me on my job email. Now she's getting mean. Ha ha- that didn't take long! What's she bitching about? 2
0p3NM1ND Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 Wow. Did you dirty, then when you don't pull the praying mantis and allow yourself to have your head ripped off by her she gets mad. Relish in her misery, she's reaping what's she's sown. 3
Author LifeWasted Posted April 10, 2015 Author Posted April 10, 2015 Ha ha- that didn't take long! What's she bitching about? I didn't give her another chance. I acted like a brat moving out the way I did. If I loved her I would have understood. I e-mailed her back and asked her if she was so distraught, why then was she seen going to party's with her young lovebone? I know, I know I shouldn't have replied but she pissed me off. Bitch. 6
GorillaTheater Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 If I loved her I would have understood. Comedy gold. At least she didn't lose her sense of humor. 5
Author LifeWasted Posted April 10, 2015 Author Posted April 10, 2015 Wow. Did you dirty, then when you don't pull the praying mantis and allow yourself to have your head ripped off by her she gets mad. Relish in her misery, she's reaping what's she's sown. Pretty much.
drifter777 Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 I didn't give her another chance. I acted like a brat moving out the way I did. If I loved her I would have understood. I e-mailed her back and asked her if she was so distraught, why then was she seen going to party's with her young lovebone? I know, I know I shouldn't have replied but she pissed me off. Bitch. Still obsessing I see. Keep trying to avoid all contact with her and your life will get simpler and you will be happier. 3
Author LifeWasted Posted April 10, 2015 Author Posted April 10, 2015 Still obsessing I see. Keep trying to avoid all contact with her and your life will get simpler and you will be happier. Yep that's me. Mr. Obsessive.
No Limit Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 I want to add that in her next message she'll likely defend her other guy by making up stuff and to crown it a few comparisons that are supposed to basically say "See I'd pick you over this great fella!", and some more blaming and maybe whining. Just don't listen to it, and maybe send her a few psychologist-addresses from your area. 2
Timshel Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 I believed my xWW's reason. Was it a good one? No. Was it enough of an excuse for me to NOT divorce her? No. We lived the Southern California lifestyle...surfing, parties, booze, pot... I imbibed in the lifestyle myself, but not to the degree she did. She would get black out drunk sometimes and not remember what happened the next day. She was wild and sexy and free spirited, and that's kind of what I liked about her. But those same things that excited me about her were the same personality traits that made her poor wife material. I chose poorly. That failure of a marriage was as much my fault as it was hers: me believing I could make a wife out of her and she believing she could be a wife to any man...which she could not. She continued partying, f_cking and breaking mens' hearts after I left the marriage. I have no idea what she is up to these days. Does this sound at all familiar to the current X?? 2
Author LifeWasted Posted April 11, 2015 Author Posted April 11, 2015 Does this sound at all familiar to the current X?? No. My ex wife is a remnant of my wild and reckless youth. The xWGF never smoked pot or did drugs, and she was a bit more of a lady than the ex wife was. But otherwise, she's the same kind of skank. I just have a faulty loser radar installed. Banged my head on too many sea rocks growing up. 5
Satu Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 No. My ex wife is a remnant of my wild and reckless youth. The xWGF never smoked pot or did drugs, and she was a bit more of a lady than the ex wife was. But otherwise, she's the same kind of skank. I just have a faulty loser radar installed. Banged my head on too many sea rocks growing up. Wild can be fun, but it gets tiring after a while. A blend of spontaneity and stability is more durable. I learned that lesson the hard way... 5
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 No. My ex wife is a remnant of my wild and reckless youth. The xWGF never smoked pot or did drugs, and she was a bit more of a lady than the ex wife was. But otherwise, she's the same kind of skank. I just have a faulty loser radar installed. Banged my head on too many sea rocks growing up. The two marriages/relationships you were in have taught you something. It has taught you to recognize the kind of woman you DON'T want in your life. And it has taught you the kind of woman that you DO want in a relationship. Lessons learned, my friend. Onward...and Upward! . 6
writergal Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 Wild can be fun, but it gets tiring after a while. A blend of spontaneity and stability is more durable. I learned that lesson the hard way... I agree with Satu. It's about balance. A woman who is a stable income-earner, good values and morals (and ethics), but who has a spontaneous side, and someone who doesn't take life too seriously and has a sense of humor about it. 7
writergal Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 The two marriages/relationships you were in have taught you something. It has taught you to recognize the kind of woman you DON'T want in your life. And it has taught you the kind of woman that you DO want in a relationship. Lessons learned, my friend. Onward...and Upward! . I definitely agree with BlackOps too. Look at the silver lining here. There's always a silver lining, even when it doesn't seem like it's possible. 4
Satu Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 I don't think that any experience is ever really wasted. When I look at my life it just seems an amazing adventure, epic. I wouldn't change anything because now I'm exactly where I want to be. If I deleted the 'bad' stuff, where would I be? 4
Hope Shimmers Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 LW, I think there are commonalities between your ex-wife and your ex-gf. The partying, the lifestyle. That does not define "spontaneous". There are women out there who can be adventurous and spontaneous without the constant partying, and still be loyal and want that. I hope you can find one of them. 7
Author LifeWasted Posted April 11, 2015 Author Posted April 11, 2015 Well I'm going paddle boarding this weekend. Gonna get out of the apartment and live a little You all have a great weekend. 8
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