Heart of gold 93 Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 Hello viewers I'm a new guy here who just registered today. I normally don't do these kinds of websites, but right now I need some advice like really bad. So I'm 22 years old living in Illinois and the woman I love lives in California. We're the same age tho my birthday being a month before her's. We've been together online for about 3 years now. Since the day we found each other, we've been going strong. we had a good times and bad times. Hell, we've had alot of moments together and I've always felt that she is definitely the woman for me. The one woman Ican truly call my soul mate and spend the rest of my life with. we both love each other very deeply. here's when the problem comes into the play though... Being together online for 3 years...both of us desperately feel that frustration of not being with each other that at times, it gets unbearable. I've had like two jobs before which I lost because of some (bull**** circumstances with the employers) and out here its been hard trying to find a job ever since. she use to work as well but suddenly stopped. So basically...we both want to see each other extremely bad but neither one of us has the money to. I've always imagined us meeting at an airport but airplane tickets are so expensive...I'm just feeling really desperate at this point and would love some advice on what to do here. I know theres probably gonna be one of you who'll say to just let it go and find someone else near you, but I'm not gonna follow that...hell no. the feeling of being with her is frustrating but I just know for a fact letting her and calling it quits would hurt alot more. So, can anyone here offer some help or advice on what I can do here? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 Have you met in person yet and if so, how often do you see each other and when was the last time you saw each other? Long distance relationships can be expensive and you both must be very committed. If neither of you has the money to fly to each other, you may have to get creative with trains or cars. Find campsites or cheap hotels half-way between yourselves. There's not much else you can do other than finding work somewhere else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heart of gold 93 Posted March 11, 2015 Author Share Posted March 11, 2015 No we've never met before but we're dying to meet each other. I've never considered taking a train tbh and I dont think she has either so I think I'll ask her about that. it might take longer than going on a plane but damn it, it'll be worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
chados Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 together online for 3 years? and you live in the same country?. few things worth thinking about. people arent always as easy going online as they are in real life. its tough to say you are soulmates if you havent met and spent time together. and since youre so young and she has been in your life for 3 years i doubt that you know what you want in life when it comes to relationships. not trying to sound mean but i am just trying to make a point here. a plane ticket to a different state isnt that expensive and one of you will have to do something about it. get a job, borrow from your parents or whatever. if youve been talking for 3 years you should definitely give it a shot. maybe go to school there? Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 (edited) If you've been together for three years but have never met, why did you wait until you're both unemployed to meet with each other? Has there been any discussion in the last few years about meeting up, and how did they go? I have more questions than advice, I suppose. If you do actually meet each other, my advice is to keep your expectations waaaaay low. You have no idea how you will each react to real-life situations with each other. Edited March 11, 2015 by rester Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 So, can anyone here offer some help or advice on what I can do here? You need a job. Without that your options in life are severely limited. Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 she use to work as well but suddenly stopped. Why? How do you know if this is indeed true other than she's said so? How is she living if she has no income? Who's supporting her? Where does she live and with whom? So basically...we both want to see each other extremely bad but neither one of us has the money to. Well, obviously *you* want to see her and from what you've said your reason for no job/money is legit albeit unfortunate. I'm curious where you were in your relationship when "she suddenly quit" her job? Was it at a time when you were pushing to see each other? I've always imagined us meeting at an airport but airplane tickets are so expensive...I'm just feeling really desperate at this point and would love some advice on what to do here. The truth is, it takes two to tango. How desperate is *she* to meet you? What is *she* doing to make that happen? How have you two communicated for the last three years? Instant Messenger? Email? How many times have you/do you video chat? Talk on the phone? Have you seen photos of her -- what about live video? Or, are you just chatting privately on the screen inside an online game you both frequent? Best, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 Hm. I'm also curious as to why she stopped working. How does she support herself with no money? Unless and until you both find jobs, I can't see how a meeting is possible. 3 years with no physical contact is far too long, in my opinion. You have no idea how compatible you'll be in person so do not put expectations on this until you have spent a decent amount of time together offline. You don't want to hear it, but it's the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 I know it's not ideal, but after 3 years and no money, I guess you could try this opportunity. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 Why are you 22 and not working? Skills? Education? What is keeping you from moving to CA? Can you get a loan from parents to move there and get employment? Then try dating her. You are not showing that you want her because you are not doing anything to make it happen. Link to post Share on other sites
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