He deleted his dating profile after one date is this normal?

[lil_missy]

Good on you for not listening to the "DUMP HIM" "RED FLAG" crowd!

I find there are a fair few embittered, over-judgemental people on this forum that honestly, must just dump partners left and right!

 

I have a similar story, I was getting a little tired of the dating game, so after getting a few contacts, I closed my OLD account.

 

I told one girl I had moved to my We Chat I was doing this, because all they get at their end is a message: "This person has removed you from their contacts list"

Which is a tad misleading. I've had girls message me "Why did you delete me??" and one just out blocked me!

 

Anyway, this girl replies back:

"Thank you for closing the account"

"I will close my profile as well"

"Very much appreciated"

 

She thought I had closed my account FOR HER!

WE HAVEN'T EVEN MET YET!

 

 

Hahaha did you end up going out with that girl?

 

I think guys need to be more persistent with girls that they really like. Many girls will resist or be unsure in the beginning. But if you really show her how deeply you care about her she will be moved by it for sure.

 

And yeh I agree there are so many negative nay sayer on this forum. People started saying mean things about my bf so much on some of the threads I had to stop reading them. I guess it's also one thing to say **** about your own bf, then to having other ppl say **** about him. The latter makes me really defensive. And luckily I realised what a great guy he is and how lucky I am to be with him.

[joseb]

In fairness, I don't think most people are deliberately being mean, it's just from experience they have seen this 'too much too soon' thing blow up.

Sometimes it's hard to separate needy/clingy from being a bit smitten.

 

It's great to hear things are progressing well with you guys.

[yxalitis]

Hahaha did you end up going out with that girl?

 

I think guys need to be more persistent with girls that they really like. Many girls will resist or be unsure in the beginning. But if you really show her how deeply you care about her she will be moved by it for sure.

 

And yeh I agree there are so many negative nay sayer on this forum. People started saying mean things about my bf so much on some of the threads I had to stop reading them. I guess it's also one thing to say **** about your own bf, then to having other ppl say **** about him. The latter makes me really defensive. And luckily I realised what a great guy he is and how lucky I am to be with him.

I'm meeting her on Friday.

I do have a good feeling about her..we chat online extensively, she called me at work (asking if it was OK first) and we spoke easily and amiably for a while.

Last night she texts me if I'm home yet, and I call her, we chatted for over an hour!

So nice to be able to do that! Conversation should be easy and natural.

[lil_missy]

I'm meeting her on Friday.

I do have a good feeling about her..we chat online extensively, she called me at work (asking if it was OK first) and we spoke easily and amiably for a while.

Last night she texts me if I'm home yet, and I call her, we chatted for over an hour!

So nice to be able to do that! Conversation should be easy and natural.

 

Sometimes when it's right its just feel right. My bf always said we are like 2 jigsaw puzzles fitting into place everything just feels right.

 

Good luck!

[Mrin]

Great to hear OP. When I met my GF I pulled down all of my profiles after our second date. The reason I did that was that I was a big multi-dater and when I met her I just wanted to focus on her and see where things went regardless of how long or serious things were going to get.

 

We are coming up on our one year aniversay in a couple of weeks. Best decision I ever made.

[Ruby Slippers]

I'm glad to hear of the happy developments! My new boyfriend has been VERY direct and clear about his intentions with me from the very first date. He's 44 and says by his age, he knows exactly what he wants, and knew very fast that I was it. He immediately took down his dating profiles and showed me how he was blocking any incoming messages from dating sites and prospects.

 

In my experience, the best boyfriends put it all out there very quickly. Men tend to fall in love really fast - it either happens quickly, or not at all. Their romantic interest is ignited by strong physical attraction, and that is established very quickly.

 

He's also the best boyfriend I've ever had, by far. I can't think of a single person in my entire life who has treated me better and more lovingly. At this point, I see marriage and family in the future with him. I've only been with him a month, so I'll get to know him a lot better before acting on my intuition. But I agree that when it's right, it's right from the start, and then you just need more time and experiences to verify that everything's in alignment.

 

Good luck!

[Popsicle]

Nothing he's done would bother me, except the texting nonstop (can't stand texting people I have not met in person). I would even like it if a guy I liked took his profile down immediately, as opposed to one who keeps it up.

[lil_missy]

I'm glad to hear of the happy developments! My new boyfriend has been VERY direct and clear about his intentions with me from the very first date. He's 44 and says by his age, he knows exactly what he wants, and knew very fast that I was it. He immediately took down his dating profiles and showed me how he was blocking any incoming messages from dating sites and prospects.

 

In my experience, the best boyfriends put it all out there very quickly. Men tend to fall in love really fast - it either happens quickly, or not at all. Their romantic interest is ignited by strong physical attraction, and that is established very quickly.

 

He's also the best boyfriend I've ever had, by far. I can't think of a single person in my entire life who has treated me better and more lovingly. At this point, I see marriage and family in the future with him. I've only been with him a month, so I'll get to know him a lot better before acting on my intuition. But I agree that when it's right, it's right from the start, and then you just need more time and experiences to verify that everything's in alignment.

 

Good luck!

 

Good luck to you too!! Thank you for sharing your situation which is so similar to mine

 

I also had the impression that men fall fast. But I'm curious as to those guys that swear by multi dating and playing it cool and giving a girl space, I wonder if they would throw their game out the door if they met the right girl. According to these guys, our boyfriends have no game by knowing exactly what they want from the beginning and expressing it

[JJCaliGirl]

Good luck to you too!! Thank you for sharing your situation which is so similar to mine

 

I also had the impression that men fall fast. But I'm curious as to those guys that swear by multi dating and playing it cool and giving a girl space, I wonder if they would throw their game out the door if they met the right girl. According to these guys, our boyfriends have no game by knowing exactly what they want from the beginning and expressing it

 

When I read through your thread, I couldn't help but wonder about the advice given on here. I know it's given with the best of intentions, but there's a part of me who wonders if we sabotage something that is potentially good because people talk about red flags, no contact, how many times to contact, etc...

 

Because you mentioned multi-dating is the reason why I wanted to comment. There was a thread about multi-dating a few weeks ago that made me look at the situation I was in. I read through the advice for another person and decided to confront my guy about it since a non-issue before became an issue. It didn't turn out well (I was anticipating/expecting a different result), and I've been heartbroken since. I know what is done is done, but I wonder if I had not listened to advice about confronting someone about their multi-dating when I was committed if it would've turned out better. It's possible it was doomed to begin with, but I'll never know.

 

I do know that some of the multi-daters say they do this so they can see the red flags that normally get clouded when they go all in early on. But what if in looking for those red flags or analyzing everything, you miss seeing what is good about the relationship and possibly miss a good outcome. I guess why can't people go with the flow when it comes to a new relationship. Looking back, I didn't do this when reading through advice with multi-daters.

 

Again, I'm glad you didn't listen to the advice and concern about red flags when you wrote what you originally did because you have something that's good now! Good on you, and I wish you the best!

 

Disclaimer: I'm not picking on anyone in particular, but I'm just frustrated with myself for not just going with the flow in my relationship. I miss all the good things (which far outweigh the bad) about the guy.

[Lansing]

Since you mentioned your other threads I went back to see which ones they were and I recalled some if them... Curious how you resolved the other issues.. Like, he didn't want you talking to guys (when you added someone new on Facebook) and he wanted to be your BF but you didn't want a label. You were thinking about breaking up with him because he was too "sweet" ...you said you were losing interest after you had sex the first time (and he felt that you pulled back too)

 

I am glad things have worked out but I think it might be helpful for others to understand how things progressed.

[Gary S]

It's nice to see somebody who did not get scared off by the great cat-and-mouse game.

[JJCaliGirl]

Since you mentioned your other threads I went back to see which ones they were and I recalled some if them... Curious how you resolved the other issues.. Like, he didn't want you talking to guys (when you added someone new on Facebook) and he wanted to be your BF but you didn't want a label. You were thinking about breaking up with him because he was too "sweet" ...you said you were losing interest after you had sex the first time (and he felt that you pulled back too)

 

I am glad things have worked out but I think it might be helpful for others to understand how things progressed.

 

Maybe they talked through all of those issues instead of just giving up. Communication is key to a good relationship, and I know this is one of the places where my ex failed me. I communicated, and he did not.

[Gaeta]

It's nice to see somebody who did not get scared off by the great cat-and-mouse game.

 

It's not always cat and mouse game. Sometime people are genuine and they do what they do for their private reasons with no double agenda behind. Advice on here are great but we have to be able to filter it and use good judgment.

[BluEyeL]

Usually it's hard to know when a man comes very strong, if he is sincere, because there are men out there who do that to win a woman over and it's just an act. Once they hit it, they dump her. That ruins it for the other guys.

 

Also, there are men who are coming extremely strong, only to realize some time down the road that they don't want this and it was just the hormones talking.

 

Another thing I'm usually worried about with such a man is whether he'll have controlling (or even abusive) tendencies down the road.

 

Overall, it's hard to know what's behind an action or another before enough time has passed and you know the person better.

 

I am glad it worked out so far. I also usually do not advocate dropping people very quickly, just staying cool, and taking some time to observe what's happening and be sure that a decision, one way or another, is the right one.

[JJCaliGirl]

It's not always cat and mouse game. Sometime people are genuine and they do what they do for their private reasons with no double agenda behind. Advice on here are great but we have to be able to filter it and use good judgment.

 

I agree with this. I appreciate what I heard about moving from email to meeting, and I have numbers from both guys.

 

I've just been really reflective as of late, and I see where my judgment was bad with confronting him about his multi-dating. I just wish I went with my gut early on and continued to let him know how I felt. Again, it was probably doomed, so I'm looking ahead for future relationships now.

[katiegrl]

Since you mentioned your other threads I went back to see which ones they were and I recalled some if them... Curious how you resolved the other issues.. Like, he didn't want you talking to guys (when you added someone new on Facebook) and he wanted to be your BF but you didn't want a label. You were thinking about breaking up with him because he was too "sweet" ...you said you were losing interest after you had sex the first time (and he felt that you pulled back too)

 

I am glad things have worked out but I think it might be helpful for others to understand how things progressed.

 

I hear ya Lansing...was wondering the same thing. Quite a bit of back and forth and ambivalence from the get go..

 

Frankly, while super happy for the the OP....I too am wondering how she resolved all her ambivalence to come to this point. TBH, I did not think the relationship would last.

 

I suppose the explanation could be what Shakespeare himself has proclaimed --the course to true love never did run smooth!

 

So true!!!!:bunny:

 

I am so happy for you lilmissy..... enjoy!!!

[Gary S]

What happened was, she fell in love. Love changes everything (almost).

[katiegrl]

What happened was, she fell in love. Love changes everything (almost).

 

Well that's pretty much what I implied when I quoted Shakespeare sweets....

[Redhead14]

so i met this guy online, conversation flowed pretty well although i noticed he talked ALOT and did most of the carrying of the conversation and asking questions.

 

we switched numbers and he asked me out on a sat night date which i said yes to.

 

in the week leading up to the date he started texting me everyday, all day from morning to night. on top of that he was saying quite a bit of mushy stuff to me, like how much he is into me etc and i was put off by that amount of attention and i almost pulled out of the date. i told my friends about him and they thought he was coming on too strong and kind of creepy.

 

but sat came and i ended up going on the date and had a really good time. he is completely normal in person, laid back and very gentlemanly, I was attracted to him and I can see myself with him.

 

so i kind of realised that he just talks a lot over texting, maybe over compensating for not being there in person?

 

but after our date, he told me that he has removed his dating profile. and i was shocked and asked him are you sure? and he said he hasn't been more sure about anything in a long time.

 

he has also made lots of future plans with me, and our next date is on thur. He also told his family and workmates about me.

 

so my question is do you guys think this guy is too much? i quite like him and dont want to hurt his feelings. I would like to see where things could go with him but I feel he is moving too fast.

 

It doesn't matter that he took down his profile. And, yes, he's moving too fast. Let him continue to demonstrate what his intentions are. If you feel it's moving too fast, but you like him enough, do not accept dates more than once a week for a little while at least. Do not go to his home or bring him home for a while either.

 

Men like this who come on very hard and fast, usually burn out quickly as well especially after they have had sex with you. Make sure you keep sexual "interaction" even conversation, etc. to a minimum. If he's doing a lot of that, be wary.

 

Make sure you have a casual conversation about what your dating goals are and find what his are very soon. If you are not on the same page with that, you should move on. Even if he says he's dating for a relationship, observe whether he dates you that way. If he's making short notice dates, late night requests, cancels on short notice regularly, that's not proper dating. And, you should move on.

[Gaeta]

It doesn't matter that he took down his profile. And, yes, he's moving too fast. Let him continue to demonstrate what his intentions are.

 

I agree with this.

 

 

If you feel it's moving too fast, but you like him enough, do not accept dates more than once a week for a little while at least. Do not go to his home or bring him home for a while either.

 

Says who? In other threads we all agree, you too if I remember well, that 1 date a week is not enough to get to know someone and build a connection and there we are here telling her to accept 1 date a week? I would not date a man that would only want to see me once a week. There is a middle to all this. It doesn't need to be 5 times a week but if distance is reasonable I think 2-3 dates a week is reasonable to get to know someone.

[Trimmer]

It doesn't matter that he took down his profile. And, yes, he's moving too fast. Let him continue to demonstrate what his intentions are. If you feel it's moving too fast, but you like him enough, do not accept dates more than once a week for a little while at least. Do not go to his home or bring him home for a while either.

 

Men like this who come on very hard and fast, usually burn out quickly as well especially after they have had sex with you. Make sure you keep sexual "interaction" even conversation, etc. to a minimum. If he's doing a lot of that, be wary.

 

Make sure you have a casual conversation about what your dating goals are and find what his are very soon. If you are not on the same page with that, you should move on. Even if he says he's dating for a relationship, observe whether he dates you that way. If he's making short notice dates, late night requests, cancels on short notice regularly, that's not proper dating. And, you should move on.

Sigh.... you should always at least scan the whole thread before just replying to the original post, to see whether there have been significant developments since then. (There have...)

[losangelena]

It doesn't matter that he took down his profile. And, yes, he's moving too fast. Let him continue to demonstrate what his intentions are. If you feel it's moving too fast, but you like him enough, do not accept dates more than once a week for a little while at least. Do not go to his home or bring him home for a while either.

 

Men like this who come on very hard and fast, usually burn out quickly as well especially after they have had sex with you. Make sure you keep sexual "interaction" even conversation, etc. to a minimum. If he's doing a lot of that, be wary.

 

Make sure you have a casual conversation about what your dating goals are and find what his are very soon. If you are not on the same page with that, you should move on. Even if he says he's dating for a relationship, observe whether he dates you that way. If he's making short notice dates, late night requests, cancels on short notice regularly, that's not proper dating. And, you should move on.

 

Red, read your dates.

 

The original post is from March—OP updated the other day, post #21. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/519027-he-deleted-his-dating-profile-after-one-date-normal-2.html#post6410315

[BluEyeL]

I agree with this.

 

 

 

 

Says who? In other threads we all agree, you too if I remember well, that 1 date a week is not enough to get to know someone and build a connection and there we are here telling her to accept 1 date a week? I would not date a man that would only want to see me once a week. There is a middle to all this. It doesn't need to be 5 times a week but if distance is reasonable I think 2-3 dates a week is reasonable to get to know someone.

 

Well, in fact, in the beginning 1 date a week is fine, imo. It needs to progress after a few dates though. The only rule in fact is that there are no rules, not everyone is the same.

[Redhead14]

Red, read your dates.

 

The original post is from March—OP updated the other day, post #21. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/519027-he-deleted-his-dating-profile-after-one-date-normal-2.html#post6410315

 

Oops. It's easy to lose track. Sorry.

[Ruby Slippers]

But I'm curious as to those guys that swear by multi dating and playing it cool and giving a girl space, I wonder if they would throw their game out the door if they met the right girl. According to these guys, our boyfriends have no game by knowing exactly what they want from the beginning and expressing it

Honestly, I think a lot of people these days have been severely corrupted and damaged by social engineering and our twisted culture. If people's romantic and procreation tendencies are corrupted, we produce fewer babies, smaller and weaker tribes to spread good energy into the world and counteract the power of the super rich .001% in control of everything. In less "modern" societies, the man claimed the woman he wanted immediately, and they got busy creating their tribe.

 

I've realized that 90% of the ideas swirling around out there are complete and total BS that's been fed to the people from above. Look at history and you'll see that this is true. The consumer machine, for example, was 100% engineered by brainy psychologists and corporations to create new ways to part people from their money and better control them. Watch the BBC documentary The Century of the Self on Vimeo to learn the sad truths.

 

It's the same with dating, romance, marriage, and reproduction. Ask yourselves how you want your life to look when you're in your last years. Do you still want to be playing these stupid games of waiting half a day to text, juggling multiple dating partners to stay aloof, and other complete nonsense, as you sit in your tripped-out crib alone and playing with your virtual sexbot?

 

I'd rather be surrounded by a strong healthy family of kids, grandkids, great-grandkids, helping each other live a good life, with mutual support, community, and fun.