Is this relationship at an end?

[CheshireCat]

i have beendating a guy for over a year. we have somewhat different backgrounds but we are very similar. I am 17 and he just turned 21. Since a little before we started dating I have had problems with friends, family, school, health, etc. he seemed to get me through a lot. when i started to fall in love with him i got scared. taking advice from a jealous friend i broke up with him. we soon got back together and i haven't spoken to the friend in over a year. we were very in love with eachother and were very affectionate to eachother. both are families accepted one another. we did have a few arguements but we never yelled at eachother. he recently broke up with me and we are still friends. his reasoning was to simplify his life because he was having financial problems, he didn't like his work, his mom is an alcoholic, and other things. the break up hurt us both very much. he cried more than i did. we were very sexually active so it was frustrating for us both. we ended up having sex a few times. it seemed fun at first but it has really hurt me because i am making love aqnd he was just having sex. he has told me that he would like to get back together with me in the future unless something happens, but for now i guess he is just using me for sex. I tell him i love him all the time and he just smiles. i think he is liking his life without me and it scares me to think i will never get him back. he can go out to the bars with his buddies without having to worry about leaving me home. i know we should just have time away from eachother but we are bestfriends and it is very difficult for us both to cut eachother off like that. i don't know what to do and i don't know what to tell him about my feelings and he never wants to talk about his. please, i need some advice!

[Tony T]

This is obviously one of your very first experiences with a serious relationship. Lots of times we have to go through a number of them, sometimes two or three, sometimes many more, before we find the right combination where we meet the right person at the right time and they meet us.

 

Meanwhile, it's very important to understand what real love is all about. True love is letting the person we love go to take whatever path they wish. If we really love someone, we want the very best for them and we want them to be free to move in whatever direction they choose. Very often in giving them that total freedom, they return to us in time.

 

If you want to put chains around someone you love, if you want to hold them to you regardless of their wishes, then that is NOT true love and there is good reason for them to move on anyway.

 

Though the pain of loss may be just as great, there is a lot of satisfaction in giving real love and, in return, you eventually receive it in a mutual fashion. If we try to keep someone around who doesn't really want us, we are ultimately punished for that.

 

You will feel sad for a while but you will soon open yourself up to great adventures in love and life. It can't possibly be a very good feeling that this guy is using you for sex. Why would you want him around you anyway?

 

There are better things in life. Give them a chance.

[sparkle]

"Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of toads before you find your prince."

[fool]

This is obviously one of your very first experiences with a serious relationship. Lots of times we have to go through a number of them, sometimes two or three, sometimes many more, before we find the right combination where we meet the right person at the right time and they meet us.

 

Meanwhile, it's very important to understand what real love is all about. True love is letting the person we love go to take whatever path they wish. If we really love someone, we want the very best for them and we want them to be free to move in whatever direction they choose. Very often in giving them that total freedom, they return to us in time. If you want to put chains around someone you love, if you want to hold them to you regardless of their wishes, then that is NOT true love and there is good reason for them to move on anyway.

 

Though the pain of loss may be just as great, there is a lot of satisfaction in giving real love and, in return, you eventually receive it in a mutual fashion. If we try to keep someone around who doesn't really want us, we are ultimately punished for that. You will feel sad for a while but you will soon open yourself up to great adventures in love and life. It can't possibly be a very good feeling that this guy is using you for sex. Why would you want him around you anyway? There are better things in life. Give them a chance.

[fool]

To be with someone you love it is hard to trust them explesy if they are married and having affairwith you it is hard to go out with someone you think you love but is unfaitful to his wife when he is unfaiul to her he will be unfaiul to you as well to love someone is hard not to do but you can,t help it so you have to try to thrust them andmake some rule,s betewen ye and see how things go.good byeand good luck.

[salamander]

fine job below. Ever heard of using a P E R I O D to break up sentence? Ever heard of using a dictionary? The highlighted words were a real treat. What do they mean exactly? Some other language?

To be with someone you love it is hard to trust them explesy if they are married and having affairwith you it is hard to go out with someone you think you love but is unfaitful to his wife when he is unfaiul to her he will be unfaiul to you as well to love someone is hard not to do but you can,t help it so you have to try to thrust them andmake some rule,s betewen ye and see how things go.good byeand good luck.

[Tony T]

I used to work, indirectly, for the National Security Agency, Ft. Meade, Maryland. Their primary duties are to decypher encripted communications of targeted foreign governments.

 

Based on my experience, and in the context of the post, my best guesses are:

 

explesy = especially

 

ufaiul = unfaithful

 

thrust = trust

 

betewen ye = between you

 

The same general decyption protocol can be applied to the remainder of the post, where words are not spelled correctly or they run together.

 

I personally don't feel comfortable attacking people's literacy. There are a lot of wonderful people who either have never had the opportunity to learn or they have certain learning disabilities that preclude them from fully understanding grammar, punctuation and spelling schemes.

 

However, they should be welcomed and encouraged to participate in this forum to the best of their abilities and I hope I can convince you to back me on this.

 

By the way, I have seen paragraphs that were as long as 140 lines in this forum, no joke. It doesn't happen often but the worst headache I ever had was after reading one of them.

 

I will also tell you that in my haste and desire to answer posts quickly, I often misspell words, use faulty sentence construction, poor grammar, etc., but I do try to do my very best. I think that's the best we can expect from all our fellow humans on the planet.

[Paulie]

also, when people write "advise," they really mean "advice."

[salamander]

decypher=decipher

 

encripted=encrypted

 

that's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious that you don't judge people's spelling or punctuation here, tony. you must be the patron saint of the Loveshack. So modest too, in your refusal to judge people. You are my hero.

I used to work, indirectly, for the National Security Agency, Ft. Meade, Maryland. Their primary duties are to decypher encripted communications of targeted foreign governments. Based on my experience, and in the context of the post, my best guesses are: explesy = especially ufaiul = unfaithful thrust = trust betewen ye = between you The same general decyption protocol can be applied to the remainder of the post, where words are not spelled correctly or they run together.

 

I personally don't feel comfortable attacking people's literacy. There are a lot of wonderful people who either have never had the opportunity to learn or they have certain learning disabilities that preclude them from fully understanding grammar, punctuation and spelling schemes. However, they should be welcomed and encouraged to participate in this forum to the best of their abilities and I hope I can convince you to back me on this. By the way, I have seen paragraphs that were as long as 140 lines in this forum, no joke. It doesn't happen often but the worst headache I ever had was after reading one of them. I will also tell you that in my haste and desire to answer posts quickly, I often misspell words, use faulty sentence construction, poor grammar, etc., but I do try to do my very best. I think that's the best we can expect from all our fellow humans on the planet.

[Tony T]

I thank you for the corrections. I enjoy someone so passionate as yourself about the imperfections of others.

[Miss Mojo]

I personally don't feel comfortable attacking people's literacy. There are a lot of wonderful people who either have never had the opportunity to learn or they have certain learning disabilities that preclude them from fully understanding grammar, punctuation and spelling schemes.

 

i agree tony. not to mention, english may not be their first language. they're only trying to help so i think that in itself should be appreciated. like you, i could care less about someone's grammar skills. we're all different and that should be appreciated too.