No Limit Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 I just talked to her about this lie again. She said I can have sex with another girl if I have to. Is she guilty? Why would she say that so calmly? That's your confession. You won't get much more out of a seasoned liar. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jeng2278 Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 That's your confession. You won't get much more out of a seasoned liar. So after a long talk about the poly graph she confessed about a guy at her old job. Said this guy was trying to sleep with her for a year. One day he tried to kiss her but she refused. Then a month later she claims she was mad at me so she was curious about if he had a big one like he had been telling her. So she hopped in the back of his ride and felt it but claims it wasn't all he claimed it was. So she only touched it and found out he lied, then she wanted out. So she got out and came home. She swears nothing else happened with him. She stated it was half curiosity and half spite to have sex with him. Is it me or does this sound a little weird? Hard for me to believe she goes that far but no penetration. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 I thinks its possible she is telling the truth. I'm not sure why she would bother confessing something really mild unless she is hoping to throw you something so you will be satisfied you got some sort of confession from her and will drop the poly. Some guys do this 'I've got a huge dick' play to try get tempt women to give it a go. Some of them will be bullshyters who basically hope once its revealed and she's had a few drinks and is back at his place in his bed she'll still be disappointed but will have committed herself for sex. I'm sure some women will be pissed off being deceived by a bullshyter and will walk out, especially when it an easy walk - they haven't taken their clothes off and they just have to open the car door. Its possible but who knows for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 So after a long talk about the poly graph she confessed about a guy at her old job. Said this guy was trying to sleep with her for a year. One day he tried to kiss her but she refused. Then a month later she claims she was mad at me so she was curious about if he had a big one like he had been telling her. So she hopped in the back of his ride and felt it but claims it wasn't all he claimed it was. So she only touched it and found out he lied, then she wanted out. So she got out and came home. She swears nothing else happened with him. She stated it was half curiosity and half spite to have sex with him. Is it me or does this sound a little weird? Hard for me to believe she goes that far but no penetration. Tell her to take the polygraph so you know exactly what went on. She's just giving you small things she's admitting to, but not the full story of anything. More & more things keep coming out when you push her. You need to tell her to take the polygraph so you know for sure she's not lying about anything else. As I said, I guarantee you there's way more that she hasn't told you about. She's just telling you the most minor things she's done. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 So she hopped in the back of his ride and felt it but claims it wasn't all he claimed it was. So she only touched it and found out he lied, then she wanted out. So she got out and came home. She swears nothing else happened with him. YEAH RIGHT. If you believe this then I have a bridge to sell you. If she was my wife I would have said "oh right, so the polygraph will confirm that's all that happened then, I've booked it in for next tuesday". Wonder how she would react to that. When you have caught someone out on a lie, you should always press for more. What she is giving you is called "trickle truth". She is slowly feeding you the truth in bite-sized portions. You knew something was going on so she told you this small piece, to keep you happy. So you accept that she just felt it. Next she will confess that oh maybe she took it out as well. When you accept that she will admit that maybe he felt her up a bit too. When you accept that she will confess that maybe they both got naked, but nothing happened. When you accept that maybe they rubbed together a bit while naked. When you accept that.... see where I'm going? She will feed you the truth in small portions that you can swallow and digest. "You accepted the last one so this one isn't much more".... Dude she has revealed that she is a cheat and a liar. What are you going to do about that? I'm not sure why she would bother confessing something really mild Since when is feeling up another dude's schlong, "really mild"? That is cheating. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 So after a long talk about the poly graph she confessed about a guy at her old job. Said this guy was trying to sleep with her for a year. One day he tried to kiss her but she refused. Then a month later she claims she was mad at me so she was curious about if he had a big one like he had been telling her. So she hopped in the back of his ride and felt it but claims it wasn't all he claimed it was. So she only touched it and found out he lied, then she wanted out. So she got out and came home. She swears nothing else happened with him. She stated it was half curiosity and half spite to have sex with him. Is it me or does this sound a little weird? Hard for me to believe she goes that far but no penetration. Nope, that's a lie. It's what we call "trickle truth" in this forum, the wayward only gives a few tiny details that hopefully are enough for the betrayed to satisfy his/her curiousity, which are ultimately just more lies so maybe "trickle lies" would be a better title, but oh well. Get a polygraph. That one will get her to spill the beans, all of them. Or at the very least you know what beans are real and which aren't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jeng2278 Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 I really appreciate the advice,it's helping keep my sanity. I told her the polygraph was Friday and she has completely locked up. She stands by she has only felt that guy up. The more I press the more she locks up. The test will finish this I hope. This whole thing has kept me awake and very hard to sleep and digest the fact a partner/wife would hold cheating and lying this long. One detail I recently got was that she did admit that she would have followed through with sex if he actually had a big one. I even went to the point of saying I can get a male escort that will measure up and she said ok as long as it's real big. Things keep getting crazier. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 Dude. You have enough evidence of her infidelity and cheating behaviour already. Whatever the results of the polygraph, what are you planning to do? Your wife disrespects you to your face and basically says her marriage vows mean nothing to her, and that she wants to have sex with other guys. Are you happy to accept that? What are you going to DO about it? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Elias33 Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 Do not expect any truth coming from this woman. She attempted to give you just enough to keep you satisfied, not to insult your intelligence. IF you are pretty sure, polygraph or not, does it still matter? The main issue here is that the trust is gone, and apparently with good reason. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jeng2278 Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 I plan on leaving but I have 2 kids and that's the hard part. The whole prob is she's trying to convince me she would do these things for me and what happened back then shouldn't count. To her it was no big deal I guess. I'm not gonna just bail overnight even though I want to. My kids having a stable family is number 1. I hope she's telling the truth. But I see from this forum the odds are very low. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jeng2278 Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 Do not expect any truth coming from this woman. She attempted to give you just enough to keep you satisfied, not to insult your intelligence. IF you are pretty sure, polygraph or not, does it still matter? The main issue here is that the trust is gone, and apparently with good reason. You hit the nail on the head, trust is broken. The only way all this could be wrong is she's telling the truth, but even then she kept it a secret for 15 years. Still unsure why she started this whole thing to begin with. Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 I plan on leaving but I have 2 kids and that's the hard part. The whole prob is she's trying to convince me she would do these things for me and what happened back then shouldn't count. To her it was no big deal I guess. I'm not gonna just bail overnight even though I want to. My kids having a stable family is number 1. I hope she's telling the truth. But I see from this forum the odds are very low. Your better off leaving her and building a healthy life for the kids when they are with you. If you think you will be able to provide a stable life with her for the kids your wrong. She clearly has no problems with cheating and your kids will pick up on this. Your best to get a divorce and get into your own place and then work you way to getting custody of the kids. I tried for years to get my xW to change. It ended with her cheating again. When I caught her talking to him I was done. I did get custody of my kids and I kept the house as well. In the long run your kids and you will be much better off. Sorry you are going through this. Clay 1 Link to post Share on other sites
irishguy Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 You need to make it clear to her if she fails anything in the polygraph that you are gone.Tell her the only chance she has if she confesses before the test .She might fold and be honest for once. Link to post Share on other sites
Pauduro Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 (edited) Polygraph test! I think that's going to ruin it for you. Get yourself some affordable hidden spy cameras, look on ebay. Place one in her car, bedroom, facing the computer, anywhere you think you could catch her. See what she's all about first before doing anything. She told you about the other female to test you out. I would ride this wave and have fun man. Give her what she wants, she sounds pretty adventurous, take advantage of it. As you go along you'll find out more then later on it's up to you to cut it off. Just don't look back one day and say man I was so obsessed with finding the truth (that you can't fix), that I missed out on lots of fun. Edited March 12, 2015 by Pauduro Link to post Share on other sites
Author jeng2278 Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 Well I maY have just gotten my answer. I got up to find her gone this morning. Her boss just called asking where she's at, no call no show. She has my daughter and probably just lost her job. No note, didn't say anything. This is really f up. Tomorrow was the test so I'm trying to brace for the worse assuming she planned this since I told her about the polygraph. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 You've had your answer long ago, your gut feeling knew all along, which was why you posted here. Yes she's cheated, multiple times. But her just running away with your child (on the other ahnd, who knows - paternity test is in order in your situation) no less goes too far - ask your in-laws if they know where she is, and if they don't call the police. Waywards are unpredictable. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 Polygraph test! I think that's going to ruin it for you. Get yourself some affordable hidden spy cameras, look on ebay. Place one in her car, bedroom, facing the computer, anywhere you think you could catch her. See what she's all about first before doing anything. She told you about the other female to test you out. I would ride this wave and have fun man. Give her what she wants, she sounds pretty adventurous, take advantage of it. As you go along you'll find out more then later on it's up to you to cut it off. Just don't look back one day and say man I was so obsessed with finding the truth (that you can't fix), that I missed out on lots of fun. This oral with her female friend incident happened many years ago, and the feeling the crotch of the guy claiming to have a big dick likely seemed have taken place a number of years back as well. It wouldn't surprise me if she had cheated more but I'd suspect it likely in their early days together when it seemed there were more opportunities. Wiring up the house I don't think is going to get him anything now. Until she opened her mouth the other night the OP had no concerns or suspicions whatsoever and was in a happy marriage. Guess why cheaters keep their mouth shut, and I'm sure she now very much regrets even bringing the topic up the other night OP I think she has taken the day off because the looming poly test is putting her under a lot of stress that she cant do her job properly/think straight. I guess its not too hard to guess why she would be stressing. She might refuse to attend. I'm sure there are quite a few spouses that would tell their partner to stick it if they wanted them to take poly test, and naturally their partner will assume (but not know 100%) its because they would have failed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jeng2278 Posted March 13, 2015 Author Share Posted March 13, 2015 This oral with her female friend incident happened many years ago, and the feeling the crotch of the guy claiming to have a big dick likely seemed have taken place a number of years back as well. It wouldn't surprise me if she had cheated more but I'd suspect it likely in their early days together when it seemed there were more opportunities. Wiring up the house I don't think is going to get him anything now. Until she opened her mouth the other night the OP had no concerns or suspicions whatsoever and was in a happy marriage. Guess why cheaters keep their mouth shut, and I'm sure she now very much regrets even bringing the topic up the other night OP I think she has taken the day off because the looming poly test is putting her under a lot of stress that she cant do her job properly/think straight. I guess its not too hard to guess why she would be stressing. She might refuse to attend. I'm sure there are quite a few spouses that would tell their partner to stick it if they wanted them to take poly test, and naturally their partner will assume (but not know 100%) its because they would have failed. She showed up saying she needed a couple hours away. The Poly guy called me to confirm and also informed me these test rarely have a good outcome. I'm still taking her hopefully to get a "parking lot confession". He also asked my plan if she fails which I assume is normal? I'll keep posted bout the test. As far as her stance she still stands strong there was never any type of penetration with anyone. Stress like this is unlike anything I ever experienced and I 've been thru hell and back twice. I can't thank this forum enough for helping. As far as spy stuff we are together every minute except for when she goes to work. I have spy pen she agreed to record her daily routine and conversations. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 As far as her stance she still stands strong there was never any type of penetration with anyone. Stress like this is unlike anything I ever experienced and I 've been thru hell and back twice. I can't thank this forum enough for helping. Notice she says no penetration and how Clinton said I did not have sex with that woman? Is a loop whole answer. It means no intercourse, but does not eliminate, hugging, kissing, petting, oral, grinding, humping, etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JS84 Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 I plan on leaving but I have 2 kids and that's the hard part. The whole prob is she's trying to convince me she would do these things for me and what happened back then shouldn't count. To her it was no big deal I guess. I'm not gonna just bail overnight even though I want to. My kids having a stable family is number 1. I hope she's telling the truth. But I see from this forum the odds are very low. A marriage riddled with trust issues, infidelity, and a lack of respect is not a stable family. The ground won't open and your children won't be swallowed into the abyss if you two separate. You don't need to be married or living together to do what's in the best interest of the children. I don't get why more people don't understand this. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 My kids having a stable family is number 1. Dude - how can your kids have a stable home when one partner is totally unstable, has cheated multiple times, it constantly lying and disrespecting you and is always on the verge of F-ing someone else? Is that what you call a stable family home and a good role model for the kids? You can be as stable as you like but the marriage will be a sham if she is not into it. And - whatever the outcome of the poly - you already know that she is not into it. She has no respect for you or your marriage. If you don't end the marriage now then she will eventually get sick of living a lie and leave. Now (on your terms) or later (on her terms) - it's your choice. If I were you I'd cancel the poly, and tell her that you want a divorce. See an attorney instead. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Hey OP, did you end up doing the polygraph test? Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Give OP some time. Chances are he learned some disgusting things about what went on during their marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jeng2278 Posted March 17, 2015 Author Share Posted March 17, 2015 Hey OP, did you end up doing the polygraph test? No, showed up hoping for a confession and she swears nothing else happened. The poly guy wasn't there. I know I'll probably get attacked for my plan I came up with, but here it is. I won't go hunting for another women, but if the opportunity arises I will probably go for her hoping for a replacement in the future. As of late, she has been all over me like she was 19 again. Oh, and there was some more trickle truth. After asking if any other touching happened, she said the guy felt her boobs. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 After asking if any other touching happened, she said the guy felt her boobs. Dude, you know, we actually hate to be right about these things. But we generally always are. Seen it a million times, you see. You know what's coming next. You know that you haven't got the whole truth yet, not anywhere near the whole truth in fact. You know deep in your heart that she is still lying and keeping back information. You need to divorce this lying cheat. See an attorney, line up your ducks, protect your assets. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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