The "damsel in distress": Do men like assisting women?

[Imajerk17]

All in all I'm quite happy with most of my friendships.

 

The ones I'm not happy about are the ones where someone moved away and so, like things sometimes do during life, the contact slipped away. I miss them and sometimes think "Dang, I wish I'd stayed more in touch..." but sometimes life gets in the way! For both parties.

 

Otherwise, I'm happy with my friendships. I have a small handful of those I consider very close enough to speak with about personal matters, but I have a VERY large group of those who I'm decently acquainted with, enough to definitely call a friend, but not close enough to tell my secrets to.

 

I don't think I'm a bad friend. I definitely listen more than I talk. I'm the person people come to for advice, opinions, or just an ear. I don't know how or why, but people trust me. I never felt that I did anything in particular to earn that, but I am glad that people feel comfortable talking to me.

 

But I don't talk about myself much. I may not have anything personal to add to the conversation, or I may not feel comfortable adding my own personal thoughts. I'm a fairly private person. I have 2 friends who were aware of the fact that I was often having troubles with my ex. No one else needed to know. And it wasn't a common topic. I can remember having those conversations just twice... once with each person. And I felt very innappropriate to have divulged so much. It's not the way I usually am. Of course, they were very gracious about listening to me, and I appreciated that very much.

 

I have a girlfriend who often gushes to me about guys she's dating. She always gets giddy and excited. And we chat and laugh, she shows me pictures, tells me stories, and asks my opinion. And I talk with her about it and I feel like over time she's painted a story for me and I appreciate that side of her that's a hopeless romantic.

 

But me? I've never talked to her about my own dating life. Or anything personal for that matter. I've never told stories of my own. But do I think she's selfish? No! She trusts me and feels comfortable talking to me, and that makes me happy. And really, I have no desire to talk about myself. I have nothing worth saying!

 

I dunno. It just kind of sucks that people would think I'm a bad friend or would make a bad girlfriend, and that I'm selfish and self-centered and only thinking of myself. It kinda hurts to get labelled that way when I do try so hard to be selfless and not burden others in my life with the crap that's in my head. No one needs that.

 

Well, here is my take. And I trust that you have thick skin and you'd really want more success with dating.

 

Phoe, this post of yours actually sounds extremely bizarre. I am having an exceedingly tough time picturing it. People come and share their life stories without asking you anything? Seriously??

 

Either you truly are the kindest nicest "safest" person in the world, or you are off in how you think you are coming across to others. I don't know either way. When it comes to dating, neither is good. I have known a couple people over the course of my life though, who have described themselves as you have, there was actually a lot of anger/passive-aggressiveness in how they roll. (Anger that may have been quite justified due to life events I should add, but that needed to be actually worked through.) They couldn't see it, but others could feel it.

 

In either case, your not sharing yourself is blocking you from making connections.

 

Your friend who gets all these dates probably *isn't* blocked. She likely teases guys and calls them out on silly stuff. She probably has "feminine" body language and has a sing-songy voice around guys she is attracted to. She also volunteers stuff about herself to people she talks to, so they see her as a person, and not just a free therapist. (Newsflash: If a guy comes to you for advice without trying to get to know you better, it is a good sign he has put you square in the Friend-Zone. It ties back to what I was saying in another thread of yours about how odd I thought it was that you didn't share back in your conversations with your guy friends.)

 

And really, how do you think your friend who gets all these dates would react if a guy took her to Burger King for a first or second date and expected her to pay?

 

I realize that this sounds harsh. BUT as I tell the Struggling Dudes, if you are having such bad results, then you are doing something wrong. Acknowledging and fixing that is where the real solutions lie.

Edited March 24, 2015 by Imajerk17

[Phoe]

Well, here is my take. And I trust that you have thick skin and you'd really want more success with dating.

 

Phoe, this post of yours actually sounds extremely bizarre. I am having an exceedingly tough time picturing it. People come and share their life stories without asking you anything? Seriously??

 

Either you truly are the kindest nicest "safest" person in the world, or you are off in how you think you are coming across to others. I don't know either way. When it comes to dating, neither is good. I have known a couple people over the course of my life though, who have described themselves as you have, there was actually a lot of anger/passive-aggressiveness in how they roll. (Anger that may have been quite justified due to life events I should add, but that needed to be actually worked through.) They couldn't see it, but others could feel it.

 

In either case, your not sharing yourself is blocking you from making connections.

 

Your friend who gets all these dates probably *isn't* blocked. She likely teases guys and calls them out on silly stuff. She probably has "feminine" body language and has a sing-songy voice around guys she is attracted to. She also volunteers stuff about herself to people she talks to, so they see her as a person, and not just a free therapist. (Newsflash: If a guy comes to you for advice without trying to get to know you better, it is a good sign he has put you square in the Friend-Zone. It ties back to what I was saying in another thread of yours about how odd I thought it was that you didn't share back in your conversations with your guy friends.)

 

And really, how do you think your friend who gets all these dates would react if a guy took her to Burger King for a first or second date and expected her to pay?

 

I realize that this sounds harsh. BUT as I tell the Struggling Dudes, if you are having such bad results, then you are doing something wrong. Acknowledging and fixing that is where the real solutions lie.

 

Does it really sound bizarre? It doesn't seem like that to me. It's just the way things go. When I see her, she'll say "Phoe, I have a story to tell you!" and then I ask her what it is, she tells me and we talk about it. It's not anything out of the ordinary, it's just the dynamic we have.

 

Sure she teases guys and calls them off on silly stuff. I do too. Just because I don't share personal info with people doesn't mean I'm a totally closed off and stony person. I joke around and tease guys all the time. I'm sassy, and everywhere I go I like for there to be lots of laughter. My coworkers and I were crying today, of laughter. That's an everyday thing for us.

 

She's actually not what I would consider terribly feminine. I would say I'm more feminine than her. She's petite and small, but otherwise not terribly feminine. She has a deeper voice, strong bone structure, very strong and brazen personality, physically inclined like me.

 

I know that I need to do something different. I'm always trying different things! I'm always here asking for specific suggestions on what to do. Be more vulnerable, be less vulnerable, wear more makeup, wear less makeup, do something different with my hair, wear more dresses, change my demeanor, interact with others differently, etc.

 

I change things up when it's not working. When people give me suggestions, I try those things out. If there's one thing I can guarantee you, it's that I have NOT been just doing the same thing over and over. I 100% acknowledge that I'm doing something wrong. And I don't know what, but I try a little bit of everything. Even if it takes me way out of my comfort zone.

 

CC - I do have 2 friends that I am slowly opening up to more and more. I don't really like it, I feel really stupid, but I'm offering up more personal, private information than I ever did before.

 

Autumn - thank you. I feel bad that people think I'm self-centered. It was never my intention. Indeed, I'm very introspective, and trying to better myself, and that is why I say I am here for myself. It's true. But it never means that I don't care about others. I read through MANY threads. I follow many people here. But I may not have anything to offer, so I don't post. Doesn't mean I don't care.

[hotpotato]

Can you imagine it?

 

She goes on a date with lots of guys. She multidates and dates different guys every couple weeks. Lots of options, lots of fun stories, lots of interesting things to tell me.

 

What do I have to say? "I'm talking to no one, I'm dating no one, and haven't done so for a long time. The end."

 

Literally. That's a depressing topic. I'd rather not...

 

Lets troubleshoot...

Where does she meet these guys?

Do you do the same things and go to the same places over and over? If so, thats a problem.

 

 

Btw I never, not once, got the impression your were selfish...or a bulldyke or had penis envy...Sorryy some posters acted like I told you to slash your tires for attention. I was giving my experience as a woman who often deviates from societal norms and having to learn and think about things like polarity, receptivity, etc. whereas most women do not have to consciously.

[Phoe]

Lets troubleshoot...

Where does she meet these guys?

Do you do the same things and go to the same places over and over? If so, thats a problem.

 

 

Btw I never, not once, got the impression your were selfish...or a bulldyke or had penis envy...Sorryy some posters acted like I told you to slash your tires for attention. I was giving my experience as a woman who often deviates from societal norms and having to learn and think about things like polarity, receptivity, etc. whereas most women do not have to consciously.

 

She meets them all on OKCupid and tinder and such. Or they are men who come onto her at work. And what sucks are the coworkers I've heard talking trash about her. I don't know why they think badly of her, and think they're really off base... she's a nice person!

 

I like trying new things and going to new places. I'm a "try anything once!" kind of person.

 

Oh I don't blame you one bit! We all have different perspectives, and any perception that folks have of me, is all my own fault. It's an unfortunate thing, I surely never intended to be a selfish or bad person.

 

There are people here who reach out to me, and offer me their help and kindness, with no reciprocation expected! And I've certainly done nothing to deserve that niceness. I know that.

[CrystalCastles]

CC - I do have 2 friends that I am slowly opening up to more and more. I don't really like it, I feel really stupid, but I'm offering up more personal, private information than I ever did before.

 

Why do you feel stupid for confiding in your friends?

 

If I was in your friends' shoes, I would think that you didn't trust me at all since you don't find me worthy of entrusting your personal information to. Personally I feel more connected with my friends when I disclose personal information to them. Like I said, it doesn't have to be everything, but if I'm having a problem then I go to my friends. You had some problems in your last relationship, those would have been good to share with your friends. I know you might think this is none of their business, however they would have provided you with support and advice if they are true friends. You have problems with dating, well they can help you out because they might know some single and available men. I'm not sure why trusting even one or two people with private stuff should make you feel so ashamed or uncomfortable or something. This helps your friends get close to you so they feel valued when you do this. Otherwise it might look to them like you're keeping them at an arm's length because your friendship with them isn't very important or meaningful to you.

[Phoe]

Why do you feel stupid for confiding in your friends?

 

If I was in your friends' shoes, I would think that you didn't trust me at all since you don't find me worthy of entrusting your personal information to. Personally I feel more connected with my friends when I disclose personal information to them. Like I said, it doesn't have to be everything, but if I'm having a problem then I go to my friends. You had some problems in your last relationship, those would have been good to share with your friends. I know you might think this is none of their business, however they would have provided you with support and advice if they are true friends. You have problems with dating, well they can help you out because they might know some single and available men. I'm not sure why trusting even one or two people with private stuff should make you feel so ashamed or uncomfortable or something. This helps your friends get close to you so they feel valued when you do this. Otherwise it might look to them like you're keeping them at an arm's length because your friendship with them isn't very important or meaningful to you.

 

 

Well, my dating issues just seem totally trivial in the scheme of things, compared to what's really important in life, so talking about them seems silly, add to that the embarassment that comes, the awkward questions, the disbelief... talking about my dating life is just bad news. It always is. So I stay away from it.

 

I'll talk about anything else! I'll tell fun stories from my childhood, I'll talk about my goals and aspirations, but my dating/love life? Nope. Bad territory.

[CrystalCastles]

Well, my dating issues just seem totally trivial in the scheme of things

 

Well surely your dating issues are not trivial, I mean you post about them on here often so this must mean they matter to you or are bothering you. It might be good to get some IRL support. Maybe your friends can help you out.

 

compared to what's really important in life, so talking about them seems silly, add to that the embarassment that comes, the awkward questions, the disbelief... talking about my dating life is just bad news. It always is.

 

Maybe you're more bothered by their reaction. What awkward questions do they ask?

[Phoe]

Besides, my dating issues don't warrant more than a minute's worth of conversation, in total...

 

"I'm not dating anyone, I'm not talking to anyone, that's not a choice, it's just the way things usually are for me, and I don't know why. The end."

 

That's literally my dating life. I have nothing to offer up when dating and boyfriends and girlfriends are the topic of conversation. I'm a lousy participant by default.

[Phoe]

Maybe you're more bothered by their reaction. What awkward questions do they ask?

 

It's been a long time since I talked to anyone about it, but in the past it was just a strange disbelief. When asked if I had a boyfriend, I'd say no. Surprised reaction, followed by "why?" - any answer could be given. A generic easy excuse or an "I don't know". Would then be followed by a downplay. "Put on a pushup bra. Go flirt with a dude. I'm sure you'll be fine." or "I'm sure you have options".

 

My mom steadfastly believes that I am single because I'm insanely picky. Not even close...

 

If I mention past problems that I've gone through with exes, I get told I have lousy taste in men, told it's my own fault for choosing poorly (I agree 100%)

 

My problems aren't taken seriously, and I don't blame anyone for that. Why would they? It truly is trivial.

 

So, for a long time, I've chosen to keep that all to myself. Past experiences tell me that it's just opening a can of worms.

 

That's why I come here instead.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Little snippets of things everyone has said, or guessed, about Phoe's life and personality have me trying to confirm that Phoe invests herself considerably IN the array of people around her.

 

What I mean is, for example, I read recently that Phoe's interest is to become a teacher... and with it, everyone envisions Phoe successfully investing herself and her efforts in the steady progress and evolution of those students while they are in her classroom.

 

Phoe will do that instinctively, and by design, and everyone knows it will help a great deal - it's really the only way to be successful as a teacher.

 

But while everyone sees that (investment exercise) as the certainty, in a teaching career, I wonder if Phoe's reluctance to burden/talk-to others about her own social life is a means through which she doesn't fully invest (enough of herself in others to simulate what really matters in personal/romantic relationships).

 

A productive path toward creating and maintaining friends is to show a little vulnerability around them (and not save all of it for Loveshack). And it's easier to just be the listener, for everybody else, while seemingly ignoring or placing yourself on the back burner. It's long-term conditioning that has your reflexes trained to address somebody else's problems as a potential way to keep the spotlight off of your own personal traits/feelings/details.

 

 

I loved Phoe's observations and summations about all of the things that have been suggested to her here, and elsewhere, about "(try this, don't try this, do that, DON'T do that, think this, DON'T think this... etc)" because it all reaffirms my softball analogy where 9 or 10 people are assigned positions on the social softball field... and soon everyone is changing positions (not trading - changing) because the last 6 hits landed on a tiny tuft of grass right behind 2nd base (so that must be THE spot to be). When the best course of action is probably to stay right where you are in terms of those variables while adopting the confidence to believe that one will come your way in reasonable time.

 

 

 

While there are a few mysterious variables in the equation that is (Phoe's personality/love life), it still remains true that society would deem her a *catch*, so she mostly needs to just meet many more people.

 

 

And if that means finding out how you get to become one of the ladies who hand out free samples in the (nearest) supermarket on Saturdays, then maybe that's an experiment to pursue... perhaps just so it can LOOK like your focus is elsewhere as you are merely meeting many more people.

[hotpotato]

+1start meeting a lot of people in general

 

Even if you meet a lot of women, she may know someone who knows someone youd like.

 

Try a different supermarket every now and then. Switch it up. Or maybe go to different beaches. You seem adventurous so im sure this will be easy for you.

[autumnnight]

This is one of the main reasons I still believe in just being who you are. If you have to act like you need help to get the man interested, then you have attracted a man who is not the right type for you.

 

I know there have to be men out there who really want a strong, independent, muscular, blunt woman who they could spar with and who would give them a run for there money. That man would be better for that woman than a man she had to fake part of herself to attract. Who wants to fake part of themselves indefinitely?

 

There are things about me that, if they were radically different, would probably be more attractive to certain men. But they are part of me. The answer for me is to just not worry about attracting THOSE men and focus on the ones who want ME.

[Phoe]

+1start meeting a lot of people in general

 

Even if you meet a lot of women, she may know someone who knows someone youd like.

 

Try a different supermarket every now and then. Switch it up. Or maybe go to different beaches. You seem adventurous so im sure this will be easy for you.

 

This has never been difficult. I go all sorts of places, have all sorts of hobbies, and meet all sorts of people.

 

I shop at every store/market this town has. I've been to every beach in southern California, walked every pier from San Diego to Pismo, I've surfed every major break in So Cal.

 

I golf, I hike, I rockhound, I rockclimb, I skateboard, I snowboard, I fish, I camp.. I go all over the place.

 

Maybe my idea of meeting a lot of people is skewed, living in a small town...

 

but to me, meeting people doesn't get dates. If I were a great, attractive, desirable dating prospect, I could meet 5 men and have great chances. But in my case, I can meet hundreds, and have no chance, because I am not a desirable prospect. I need to figure out what is making me undesirable.

 

And it may not be ONE thing... it may be a variety of small things, that on their own may not be that big a deal, but all together create quite the problem.

 

That's why I try to hit my dating dilemma from all angles. Try everything.

[hotpotato]

Hmm Phoe I wonder how that is. Id think youd be meeting a dude and getting a date at least every now and then. Ok lsers, we are going to Socal to help Phoe!

 

Dont talk about yourself like that. Repeat after me

 

"I am hot I am hot I am hot"

 

Maybe its time to ask a pro dating coach. I dont mean shell out lotsa $$$. Many of them will help for free to some extent.

[Timshel]

Phoe, if this is a pic of you (I do not assume that it is) WHOA! As a woman, I think you are beautiful! If it isn't that's ok too, you're still beautiful from your posts. I agree, what is the problem? Maybe you just have it too together, if there is such a thing.

[Phoe]

Hmm Phoe I wonder how that is. Id think youd be meeting a dude and getting a date at least every now and then. Ok lsers, we are going to Socal to help Phoe!

 

Dont talk about yourself like that. Repeat after me

 

"I am hot I am hot I am hot"

 

Maybe its time to ask a pro dating coach. I dont mean shell out lotsa $$$. Many of them will help for free to some extent.

 

A dating coach is actually a very real possibility if I don't get things figured out in the next few years.

 

Getting out of this silly little town is the first step, but there's no guarantee it will help my dating. It WILL help me in my career and education aspirations though!

 

Even just thinking "I am hot I am hot I am hot" in my head, not even saying it, just thinking it, brings a really awkward and embarassed smirk to my face, lol. This is probably going to sound insane, but if I look at myself in the mirror for too long, I start to look weirder and weirder, like an alien. I've got just this weird alien face staring back at me in the mirror and I just get so disgusted by it.

 

Timshel, yeah that's me in the avatar. Thank you... although I feel so weird about that photo. I get that "alien" thing if I look at it... and I only feel that way when it's in thumbnail size. Full size, I actually like that photo of me. I like my smile, my eyes look happy. But in thumbnail size? Alien...

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Yep, that IS (the Phoe image that she has steadily maintained here)

 

 

(at least she's consistent in her presentation )

 

 

(and the while-back photo of that same, pretty girl holding a sign which read: "Phoe from Loveshack" was an instant classic ) (since surely so many were quick not to believe...) {WHICH, of course, further hints that the difference between Phoe and Phoe's image OF Phoe is rather canyonesque }

 

 

I think the solution is nearer to : (everyone assumes that the really attractive one must be spoken-for) than it is to all of the, uh, Phoebias which she continuously exhibits about her self-worth.

 

 

 

The biggest fear/concern I have about my summation is that Phoe, as presented, doesn't rhyme with Phobia.

[Timshel]

Yep, that IS (the Phoe image that she has steadily maintained here)

 

 

(at least she's consistent in her presentation )

 

 

(and the while-back photo of that same, pretty girl holding a sign which read: "Phoe from Loveshack" was an instant classic ) (since surely so many were quick not to believe...) {WHICH, of course, further hints that the difference between Phoe and Phoe's image OF Phoe is rather canyonesque }

 

 

I think the solution is nearer to : (everyone assumes that the really attractive one must be spoken-for) than it is to all of the, uh, Phoebias which she continuously exhibits about her self-worth.

 

 

 

The biggest fear/concern I have about my summation is that Phoe, as presented, doesn't rhyme with Phobia.

 

I did not see the classic. That said, yes. Canyonesque. So now what? What is the space in the canyon?

[MidwestUSA]

 

Even just thinking "I am hot I am hot I am hot" in my head, not even saying it, just thinking it, brings a really awkward and embarassed smirk to my face, lol. This is probably going to sound insane, but if I look at myself in the mirror for too long, I start to look weirder and weirder, like an alien. I've got just this weird alien face staring back at me in the mirror and I just get so disgusted by it.

 

Timshel, yeah that's me in the avatar. Thank you... although I feel so weird about that photo. I get that "alien" thing if I look at it... and I only feel that way when it's in thumbnail size. Full size, I actually like that photo of me. I like my smile, my eyes look happy. But in thumbnail size? Alien...

 

Maybe not insane, but a little bit out there for sure.

 

I have to ask, have you struggled with any type of body dysmorphic disorder?

[hotpotato]

This is one of the main reasons I still believe in just being who you are. If you have to act like you need help to get the man interested, then you have attracted a man who is not the right type for you.

 

I know there have to be men out there who really want a strong, independent, muscular, blunt woman who they could spar with and who would give them a run for there money. That man would be better for that woman than a man she had to fake part of herself to attract. Who wants to fake part of themselves indefinitely?

 

There are things about me that, if they were radically different, would probably be more attractive to certain men. But they are part of me. The answer for me is to just not worry about attracting THOSE men and focus on the ones who want ME.

 

Phoe can be flirty and still attract guys who are right for her.

 

Theres nothing wrong with Phoe being more open, receptive and flirty. That doesnt preclude her from finding the right guy. If the guy isnt the right type for her, she doesnt hsve to date him...

 

For example, over time ive found out what works better-really macho or a little yang. Current crush is extremely macho, someone who can handle me better. This one likes the combo of femaleness and power. I still come in with oh you can help me with this big strong men. If we were ever together, we would be competitive. And id still be bringing the flirt. I went goofy golfin with a macho football player and let him 'help' me with my swing. No one was faking anything. I doubt he was the wrong type for me because I let him help me and he might have found that interesting.

 

(I use myself as an example because I have many of the same issues as the op.)

[Phoe]

Maybe not insane, but a little bit out there for sure.

 

I have to ask, have you struggled with any type of body dysmorphic disorder?

 

Nope, I'm simply not fond of my bone structure. It's very odd looking to me, I wish it were softer. The sharpness of it is what starts to pull very "alien" for me.

[Phoe]

Phoe can be flirty and still attract guys who are right for her.

 

Theres nothing wrong with Phoe being more open, receptive and flirty. That doesnt preclude her from finding the right guy. If the guy isnt the right type for her, she doesnt hsve to date him...

 

For example, over time ive found out what works better-really macho or a little yang. Current crush is extremely macho, someone who can handle me better. This one likes the combo of femaleness and power. I still come in with oh you can help me with this big strong men. If we were ever together, we would be competitive. And id still be bringing the flirt. I went goofy golfin with a macho football player and let him 'help' me with my swing. No one was faking anything. I doubt he was the wrong type for me because I let him help me and he might have found that interesting.

 

(I use myself as an example because I have many of the same issues as the op.)

 

See I don't know if I'd even want to date a "macho football player". None of that sounds appealing to me. And that's imagining that I could even get a date with one, which I can't/couldn't.

 

Nerdy guys are more my type. They appeal to me more, and they're the rare ones who show interest in me. I just need one to be okay with my strength.

 

2 of my exes were all around smaller and weaker than me. One of them was 2 inches taller, but still very thin and overall smaller than me. My most recent ex was just slightly bigger than me and slightly stronger than me, but I still gave him a run for his money and shocked him at times, but he was always proud of me.

 

That's what I want! Someone who is proud of me.

[somedude81]

Are you sure you actually want to date a nerdy guy?

 

They tend to have issues with women some of which you have said are a dealbreaker for you.

 

Nerdy guys sometimes also have troubles with effectively communicating how they feel and what they mean to say.

 

Basically nerdy guys can be lacking in social skills and interacting with women. If a woman wants to date them she has to be patient and understanding enabling them to grow and develop.

[GemmaUK]

Nope, I'm simply not fond of my bone structure. It's very odd looking to me, I wish it were softer. The sharpness of it is what starts to pull very "alien" for me.

 

I'm going to say something blunt - only because I get what you mean - I used to have the t-shirt.

 

 

I know exactly what you mean...because I used to think the same about my pics too - so so hated them.

You, like me have a heart shaped face, nice cheekbones, nice little sweet chin but we have big foreheads and we ignore them and focus on the chin.

 

 

Waaay back when I was in my 20's I played around and thought about having a fringe (bangs) cut. I have curly hair so I had no clue how this would go - plus for the first time in my life I had long hair past my shoulders as my Mum (RIP) had never let me have long hair.

I pinned some hair from my crown into a fringe and messed about with it, length and amount of hair etc.

 

 

I went to a good hairdresser and went for having a fringe cut.

 

 

I walked into work the next day and got 3 'Wow!'s' from colleagues.

All three were from men..and no I didn't do it to attract men but heck I was only 21 and had no man at the time so it was flattering that they reacted like that.

 

 

I still have that fringe (26 years later) and it skirts my eyes, no one but me cuts it as I learned to do it myself (I would be happy to advise you on what I do) and if my hairdresser cuts it now then she makes a mess of it.

 

 

It balances out my heart shaped face, my ickle chin and highlights my cheek bones - have a play with some hair pins in front of your mirror.

 

 

ETA: I only 'liked' your alien post so that you might come back and see mine.

Edited March 27, 2015 by GemmaUK

[somedude81]

AND somedude81 would probably even be willing to drive and pay for your taco.

 

How about a bowl of pho? Just to be punny