mfrmboy Posted April 9, 2005 Share Posted April 9, 2005 Hi everyone ! Im a 35 yr old guy, I have an outgoing personality, I have a nice body (I workout and eat right). Im masculine and I dress good! Im always getting told how hot I am and asked why Im single. My only answer is I havent met the right guy yet. Ive posted ads on on the internet, I go out to clubs from time to time, I have friends who try to hook me up but all of these fail. You see Im not looking for sex, I want a relationship. Everyone I go out with wants to jump in the sack. They tell me one thing and then they turn out to be just like the one before wanting to get in my pants. I want to be friends, I want to work toward a relationship. Sex is great and all that but I just feel like Im a sex object. Im so tired of it! I need someone who wants to have a life long relationship not just a night between the sheets. Why does that haft to be so hard ! Anyone have any ideas > Im open for suggestions! Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted April 9, 2005 Share Posted April 9, 2005 If you're going to clubs, you're not going to meet guys who want relationships. Guys go there to hook up (one-nighters and what have you). Forget about steady and gradual, it's all about right here, right now. If they can't get you to do them in the parking lot, they'll expect you to do them in the back seat of their car, before the alcohol wears off. You gotta go elsewhere... like church or bookstores, or even to community classes where like-minded men are waiting. The only drawback... they won't be as hot as the ones who freak you in the clubs. Wait... I thought you were girl. My bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Tamed Wildflower Posted April 9, 2005 Share Posted April 9, 2005 Sorry to hear about your difficulties, but I have to say I think many people would gladly exchange your problem for theirs. One of my housemates is also a guy who digs guys. We were just chatting last night about how more often than not, women want to work up to intimacy (but not always), whereas guys are USUALLY ready to do as much as a woman will let them as early as a woman will let them. My housemate responded, "If guys are that way with women, imagine what happens when you put two gay guys together! It's so frustrating!! Even if you know you are looking for a relationship, when their both guys, you always end up in the sack! No way around it!!" Just a little aside to make you smile, and to make you realize there are other gay guys out there who want a relationship that is more broadly fulfilling. As for advice, you know it seems like you are doing all the right things. It's just a matter of time. The other poster was right that clubs are a very sexually charged atmosphere, and maybe that is not the best place to look for a relationship. Internet postings are a good idea, try to diversify the websites you put ads on. Are there any sites that have a reputation for having lots of people who are looking for more than sex? The best I know of is eharmony.com, but I think they only work with straight people (which pisses me off!). It's also good that you have friends who know you trying to get you together with others. Friends can base their matchmaking on personality a lot better than the matchmaking that comes of dance-club chemistry. All in all, I think you are on the right track. Do more of what you are doing, have some patience, and enjoy life... that special guy will come around sooner or later. Link to post Share on other sites
Fuzzy Chickens Posted April 9, 2005 Share Posted April 9, 2005 singleme.com has a lot of interesting people and allows any gender pairing... Link to post Share on other sites
Author mfrmboy Posted April 10, 2005 Author Share Posted April 10, 2005 Thank you for your replys. I know the right one is out there somewhere! I will check out singleme.com. Im a romantic at heart and know that it will happen, its just a matter of time ! In the mean time Im ok with being single, Im willing to wait . I know it sounds strange a guy who's wanting a relationship when he can get all the sex he wants, but I know there is so much more! Link to post Share on other sites
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