Price2Play Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 Today's been a bit weird, I was speaking to someone online and they gave me their number but I'm not really feeling it, and it's just led to me comparing them to my ex - this means I'm not ready, right? This is completely normal not to feel it right away. But I recommend you do this! Just keep it light and casual. I did the same recently and she was pretty f*cking kool. Almost the opposite of my ex, it's was refreshing to say the least. She was a bit to much for me to handle tho, I could tell she was fresh out of a relationship. Like literally a week prior to me meeting her. LMAO 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author smellysocksuni Posted March 14, 2015 Author Share Posted March 14, 2015 This is completely normal not to feel it right away. But I recommend you do this! Just keep it light and casual. I did the same recently and she was pretty f*cking kool. Almost the opposite of my ex, it's was refreshing to say the least. She was a bit to much for me to handle tho, I could tell she was fresh out of a relationship. Like literally a week prior to me meeting her. LMAO I've stuck at it, and it's if nothing else a great ego boost to have some one telling me how gorgeous I am! Haha. No way, a week? Did she tell you that? Nah, that's way too soon, did you stop talking to her?? Link to post Share on other sites
Stercrazy Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 Keep doing what you're doing. Link to post Share on other sites
rebel Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 This thread is literally, my life. We broke up in Jan and I was devastated (still am) struggling along day by day. We have had some nice and some not-so-nice emails. Today I went to get the last of my stuff from her (well....'our') place. I grab my dining table to see that there is a 'valentines' day card from some dude who is looking forward to a future with her and he feel likes the luckiest man in the world etc. Its crushed me and im miserable. But when I do the maths, they must have got together.... literally right after we split in order to want a 'future' with her by valentines day. shes always gone from guy to guy so I shouldnt be surprised. I just feel very 'losery' sitting here and pining over a girl that moved on from me as soon as my car was out of the driveway. Im still not over her and this makes it hard. Pretty ****ty time for us it seems. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author smellysocksuni Posted March 14, 2015 Author Share Posted March 14, 2015 (edited) Guys! I'm gonna need some tough love - I checked her Instagram, just now. A picture of her, taken in a small hotel room, captioned "hotel hanging, having the BEST time" I know she has time off work this month, and all the signs are that she's there with the other person. Ughhhh why did I look? I've got a friend to set all the passwords on my phone to stop me looking at her things, I use McAfee Family Protection where you can block websites etc but man... why did I look. I feel very disappointed in myself. I was about to vent, and analyse her behaviour but you know what? It doesn't matter to me what she's doing. I am focusing on my own life. I feel like I've made considerable progress. I haven't cried for almost a week, and I'm able to control my thoughts (sometimes) about her whereas before, they would be constant, obsessive, unrelenting. I see a light at the end of the tunnel, whereas before there wasn't even a tunnel. Just a wall. This has set me back slightly, but when I saw her I realised I didn't even find her attractive. The only strong emotion I'm really feeling right now is disappointment. I'm supposed to be on my own side and I let myself down. That emotion far outweighs anything else. Edited March 14, 2015 by smellysocksuni 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 Forgive yourself -- you had a moment of weakness -- you're human! Just don't do it again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 I've been talking to a few more people and even though it seems fun at the time (I also seem to be getting a lot more attention than I ever did, not sure why) afterwards I feel quite sad and reflect on my ex and start with the whole "ohhh but she's not my ex" I also can't really remember much about my ex. Just her smile, I guess. I am slightly still hoping she comes back, but it's less painful now. Just a sort of dull sad feeling. Had a session with a therapist earlier, too - she asked me "does it really matter what she's up to, now?" and that made me think. No, it doesn't matter. She's left my life so no, why does it matter. You sound like you're doing very well. Keep doing what you're doing. It's working. You are likely getting more attention now because you're feeling better about the whole thing and becoming more relaxed and confident. People pick up on that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 Guys! I'm gonna need some tough love - I checked her Instagram, just now. A picture of her, taken in a small hotel room, captioned "hotel hanging, having the BEST time" I know she has time off work this month, and all the signs are that she's there with the other person. Ughhhh why did I look? I've got a friend to set all the passwords on my phone to stop me looking at her things, I use McAfee Family Protection where you can block websites etc but man... why did I look. I feel very disappointed in myself. I was about to vent, and analyse her behaviour but you know what? It doesn't matter to me what she's doing. I am focusing on my own life. I feel like I've made considerable progress. I haven't cried for almost a week, and I'm able to control my thoughts (sometimes) about her whereas before, they would be constant, obsessive, unrelenting. I see a light at the end of the tunnel, whereas before there wasn't even a tunnel. Just a wall. This has set me back slightly, but when I saw her I realised I didn't even find her attractive. The only strong emotion I'm really feeling right now is disappointment. I'm supposed to be on my own side and I let myself down. That emotion far outweighs anything else. You are being tough enough on yourself Think of it this way: Her Facebook or Instagram status is fire. Don't stick your hand in the fire -- it burns 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author smellysocksuni Posted March 14, 2015 Author Share Posted March 14, 2015 Forgive yourself -- you had a moment of weakness -- you're human! Just don't do it again. I won't! Thanks, Ruby You sound like you're doing very well. Keep doing what you're doing. It's working. You are likely getting more attention now because you're feeling better about the whole thing and becoming more relaxed and confident. People pick up on that. Thanks! I feel like I've overcome a big barrier, like it's only going to get better from here on in You are being tough enough on yourself Think of it this way: Her Facebook or Instagram status is fire. Don't stick your hand in the fire -- it burns Haha, I like that analogy - thank you so much for taking the time out to reply, the support means a lot Link to post Share on other sites
Author smellysocksuni Posted March 14, 2015 Author Share Posted March 14, 2015 This thread is literally, my life. We broke up in Jan and I was devastated (still am) struggling along day by day. We have had some nice and some not-so-nice emails. Today I went to get the last of my stuff from her (well....'our') place. I grab my dining table to see that there is a 'valentines' day card from some dude who is looking forward to a future with her and he feel likes the luckiest man in the world etc. Its crushed me and im miserable. But when I do the maths, they must have got together.... literally right after we split in order to want a 'future' with her by valentines day. shes always gone from guy to guy so I shouldnt be surprised. I just feel very 'losery' sitting here and pining over a girl that moved on from me as soon as my car was out of the driveway. Im still not over her and this makes it hard. Pretty ****ty time for us it seems. Hi - Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. Feel free to PM me anytime if you need to talk. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 Guys! I'm gonna need some tough love - I checked her Instagram, just now. A picture of her, taken in a small hotel room, captioned "hotel hanging, having the BEST time" I know she has time off work this month, and all the signs are that she's there with the other person. Ughhhh why did I look? I've got a friend to set all the passwords on my phone to stop me looking at her things, I use McAfee Family Protection where you can block websites etc but man... why did I look. I feel very disappointed in myself. I was about to vent, and analyse her behaviour but you know what? It doesn't matter to me what she's doing. I am focusing on my own life. I feel like I've made considerable progress. I haven't cried for almost a week, and I'm able to control my thoughts (sometimes) about her whereas before, they would be constant, obsessive, unrelenting. I see a light at the end of the tunnel, whereas before there wasn't even a tunnel. Just a wall. This has set me back slightly, but when I saw her I realised I didn't even find her attractive. The only strong emotion I'm really feeling right now is disappointment. I'm supposed to be on my own side and I let myself down. That emotion far outweighs anything else. You have to discipline yourself not to look at social media, but we've all been guilty. My ex didn't do social media, and I guess he still doesn't. But his fiance does have social media, so I blocked her on FB. Of course, I could easily unblock her, but I'm to the point that it's no longer interesting to me. I think it would just be hurtful to see wedding pics of them, and I would mostly feel angry as hell. At some point, you realize that's it a total waste to do that to yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
rebel Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 Hi - Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. Feel free to PM me anytime if you need to talk. I will, but havent made enough posts to do private yet I dont think! Link to post Share on other sites
Author smellysocksuni Posted March 14, 2015 Author Share Posted March 14, 2015 This thread is literally, my life. We broke up in Jan and I was devastated (still am) struggling along day by day. We have had some nice and some not-so-nice emails. Today I went to get the last of my stuff from her (well....'our') place. I grab my dining table to see that there is a 'valentines' day card from some dude who is looking forward to a future with her and he feel likes the luckiest man in the world etc. Its crushed me and im miserable. But when I do the maths, they must have got together.... literally right after we split in order to want a 'future' with her by valentines day. shes always gone from guy to guy so I shouldnt be surprised. I just feel very 'losery' sitting here and pining over a girl that moved on from me as soon as my car was out of the driveway. Im still not over her and this makes it hard. Pretty ****ty time for us it seems. Seeing the Valentine's card must have been truly heart-wrenching, and I'm sorry you had to see that and to go through it. But, if there are any positives to take away from that experience it's that you did survive it, despite it being sickening. You won't be over her, not yet. No-one can tell you how long it will take. But talking from experience - I am now at the point where I miss her, still feel a bit sad but am able to get on with my day, and my life. I don't even really remember much about her, if I'm honest. When I was dumped, I literally used to cry 24/7 and was even suicidal at one point - my point is, you won't always feel like this. I know hundreds of people have probably said that and you think "yeah yeah yeah whatever I will ALWAYS feel like this" - but you won't. So, if you see this, let me know how you're feeling and what you've been up to today. I know you can't PM me but feel free to jack my thread anytime Link to post Share on other sites
Author smellysocksuni Posted March 14, 2015 Author Share Posted March 14, 2015 You have to discipline yourself not to look at social media, but we've all been guilty. My ex didn't do social media, and I guess he still doesn't. But his fiance does have social media, so I blocked her on FB. Of course, I could easily unblock her, but I'm to the point that it's no longer interesting to me. I think it would just be hurtful to see wedding pics of them, and I would mostly feel angry as hell. At some point, you realize that's it a total waste to do that to yourself. Hey BC, Of course you could easily unblock her, but it's something about actually going to unblock her - going to settings, security whatever - despite it not really taking very long it's enough to put you off actually unblocking. Yeah, I don't really care - I knew what I'd see, I think I was just actually curious more than anything else. But that block's on now, and it doesn't come off until December so ... I can't see anything if I tried Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 Hey BC, Of course you could easily unblock her, but it's something about actually going to unblock her - going to settings, security whatever - despite it not really taking very long it's enough to put you off actually unblocking. Yeah, I don't really care - I knew what I'd see, I think I was just actually curious more than anything else. But that block's on now, and it doesn't come off until December so ... I can't see anything if I tried I'm honestly not even interested in her. I'd probably be more interested in my ex if he had FB or Instagram. I guess I just don't know her, so I don't care. I think I had it so much easier because my ex doesn't do social media. There was no temptation, and he could have died for all I knew. Literally, if he had died, I probably would have found out through people at work who also knew him. I think social media is hard even if you aren't going through a breakup. You really need good self-esteem and a healthy grip on reality to be able to handle FB, Instagram, Twitter. I've historically stayed away from social media because it just seemed so fake to me. Like some kind of competition. Link to post Share on other sites
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