Author Emerald_11 Posted April 14, 2015 Author Share Posted April 14, 2015 I think all the stress has really gotten to me. All of a sudden I have been having a serious health issue. I am getting to the point on complete physical exhaustion. My husband took me to a doctor yesterday because over the last two weeks I have fainted- lost consciousness for a few minutes 3 times. Once when I was at home alone once in front of his family on Easter Sunday and another time it happened at a friends house. I fell and hit my head and scraped my shoulder on the metal handle on an oven. I have bruises all over my body from falling down all the time lately. Everyone who sees it happen says it is scary because my eyes are open the whole time. What has been happening is I go completely blind and then lose consciousness and wake up really confused & dizzy. The doctor really wont have any straight answers about why this is happening until I visit several times to rule out possibilities. The doctor wants to take my drivers license away until we know why it happens so I am not supposed to drive. I feel so helpless! I have to get checked for seizure disorders. I might even lose my job over this.....I could not go in to work and called them to let them know. I have to bring my doctors note. I worry they might use it as an excuse to fire me. I can understand why they might not want me around if there is a possibility I could faint at work.....I will see what my boss says.. We only had one MC apt so far and we both think it helped. My husband called and cancelled our next meeting because we cant afford it since now I have to have all sorts of tests done on my brain etc.... Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 I might even lose my job over this.....I could not go in to work and called them to let them know. I have to bring my doctors note. I worry they might use it as an excuse to fire me. I can understand why they might not want me around if there is a possibility I could faint at work.....I will see what my boss says.. You have a lawyer? Ask him or her about this before you submit anything to your employer. My husband called and cancelled our next meeting because we cant afford it since now I have to have all sorts of tests done on my brain etc.... Did you agree with cancelling the appointment or did he take it upon himself with no input from you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Emerald_11 Posted April 17, 2015 Author Share Posted April 17, 2015 He just cancelled it...Our first appointment was just sort of a meet & greet appointment so we didn't get too far. I only have vision and dental insurance through my job not medical. So we have to pay out of pocket for doctor visits. The counseling was going to be $80-$100 a visit. I understand his reason for cancelling it. Once I get better maybe we can pursue it again if we still feel like we need it. I showed my boss my doctor note kind of quickly & then put it away. I did not let him hold it or read it too closely. That way he knows I was not lying about being too sick to work that day but also- he didn't really need to see all the details. I simply said I feel much better now & went back to work as usual. I just hope I never faint at work. But then when I think about it maybe if I do faint at my work it would be better than if it happened out in public somewhere. At least they know my emergency contact numbers at my work. BTW my husband has decided not to buy or do certain types of pills anymore and only uses hydros now. He says he agreed with me about the brain-dead after effects of using oxys. And he apologized to me for how he acted when he was on them. He didn't realize it was a problem but now he says he wants to be better for us & our kids. He does not want to risk getting injured at work if he is not completely with it. Also a friend of his told him that possession of each oxy counts as a felony if he were to get busted with them. He says its not worth it. He has been really concerned about my health issues. I really think it is from me being overly tired and stressed out. My husband has been really supportive & has been taking me to appointments. Hopefully they will give me the ok to drive because I will have to while he is out of town. Link to post Share on other sites
loveboid Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 I haven't read all of this thread. Your opening post reminded me of someone I dated. He had ADHD. Are you sure he doesn't just have ADHD? The point that struck me was that your guy would get bored yet didn't mind cleaning someone else's car...probably because he had the neighbor's company. If your guy simply needs high stimulation he could do dishes with music on or with one of the kids for company. There's a good book called Is it you, me or ADHD? Link to post Share on other sites
contact1 Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 I haven't read all the post in here, but the way your husband was "watching" over your kid is just god awful. I'm going to assume they also most likely had an elevated temperature. When my son was just 1, he was having bit of a temperature but was running around playing like normal. I had taken the day off from school just to be with him and due to the temperature he couldn't go to playschool. Well luckily for me that I had been with him the whole time, because he started having a seizure due to the temperature. It spiked on him rapidly. One of the most frightening things I had ever experienced in my life, and I can not even imagine what would have happened if I had left my son alone to be chatting it up with the neighbor because I'm "bored". Not to mention he didn't clean up vomit, really???? When my kid would wet himself, I would clean that so quickly, because 1) it stinks, 2) it is so unsanitary and 3) if I had vomit or pee on myself, I wouldn't want it on me, so why would I be treating my kid worse than I treat myself. This has to change, not just for the marriage, but for the sake of your kid(s), they depend on their parents to care for them. Link to post Share on other sites
Brighid22 Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 If you think that staying in this relationship is for the kids then think again. Your husband grew up with a role model of bigotry. Wife is the slave/maid and husband does as he pleases. Now your are indoctrinating your children into the same lifestyle. What do you think your kids are learning from you being unhappy and ineffectively nagging at a husband that does nothing, then runs away for some private chemical joy? Your know you are in an abusive or at least a totally wrong relationship when your overriding reason to stay is your belief in the concept of forever marriage. Is your self worth and the emotional well being of your children worth this oft debunked fairy tale? Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 I really think it is from me being overly tired and stressed out. My husband has been really supportive That's great that he's been supportive! What has he done to take the stress off of you? Has he done any laundry or washed any dishes? Has he been watching the kids and cleaning up after them sufficiently? Has he said that he'll stop spending money on pills so that you two can keep up the counseling or so that you can have the medical care you need? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Emerald_11 Posted April 19, 2015 Author Share Posted April 19, 2015 That's great that he's been supportive! What has he done to take the stress off of you? Has he done any laundry or washed any dishes? Has he been watching the kids and cleaning up after them sufficiently? Has he said that he'll stop spending money on pills so that you two can keep up the counseling or so that you can have the medical care you need? He has been doing a lot more to help. He helped the kids get ready for school & have breakfast last week so that I could just rest. He has been cleaning up and also double checking to make sure the kids put stuff back where it goes when they are done. I really appreciate it & notice his efforts. I think it was really scary for him, my kids & my cousins who were there when I fainted in the kitchen because I cut my shoulder on the oven & They said I looked really white & gray. They thought I was dying & almost rushed me to the hospital but then I woke up & was doing better. Maybe that happening was a wake up call. Maybe he sees now that I really do need his help. I feel like maybe I am getting old. Maybe I am having a mid life crisis. We have talked a LOT about priorities lately & I see him trying to show us he is making our relationship & our kids a priority. He works a lot We went to an even put on by my kids elementary school & he met some of our kids friends parents & made new friends .He took me out this weekend for dinner & then to hang out with some friends. We had a really good weekend. We will look into counseling after I get all my doctor appts over with. There's only enough time in a busy week for a few appointments...don't want to over do it. Link to post Share on other sites
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