farrah5451 Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 He wants me to wait for him, says this is something he has to work out himself. Hes been miserable, he loves me, misses me. advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 NC means not sending or receiving communication. So if you are open to receiving a call, you are not doing NC. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 You don't have to stay in touch while he works it out. He cant choose you but he can't let you go. Not fair. While he sorts himself out, Id be doing the same if I were you. I'd be firm in your boundaries. Don't worry if he is sad right now, you deserve time for NC and healing and if it's true he loves you, then he woukd respect that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ronnie33 Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 If he has to work it out himself then he should do it by himself, not with you waiting on the side. Screw that, I would be pissed that he had the nerve to say that. He's asking you to put your life on hold while he takes his time figuring out his life with his family??!! Don't you see how selfish that is?? The truth is that if you want any hope of a future with this guy you have to cut him off completely and let him know that if he wants you to be with him you need to see divorce papers. This waiting around is crap ad don't feel special because he broke NC. He did it to make sure you were still their waiting which you were. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Decisiontomake Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 He wants me to wait for him, says this is something he has to work out himself. Hes been miserable, he loves me, misses me. advice? I just have to "say" out loud that makes me jealous! If it were me I'd tell him not to contact me until he works himself out and that you're not "waiting" in the meantime but you're open to communication once he has sorted things. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 He wants me to wait for him, says this is something he has to work out himself. Hes been miserable, he loves me, misses me. advice? Tell him you will not 'wait' for him that you are going on with your life. If he ever divorces, then possibly to look you up and if you are free and single when/if that time comes, you'll think about dating him. He is in NO position to ask you to wait. It's cruel and selfish of him. He can't ask you to wait in the wings while he tries out to see if he can reconnect with his wife! Like how long? A year? Two years? What an idiot, I hope you told him to stick it where the sun don't shine..Though I doubt you did that because you love him. Please don't put your life on hold waiting... He isn't leaving his wife. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lurkeraspect Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 Really Farrah? This man isn't leaving his wife, isn't going to rescue you. He's had ample opportunity, and he's still there. He's informed his wife, you've told his wife, she's had her world blown up...yet there he sits. Right where he wants to be. I get you're pissed off at the BS because she hasn't packed his belongings and passed him on to you...not happening. It's over. I realize your husband has thrown in the flag and is done with your marriage (rightfully so) and you're baffled that the bs won't give you the same courtesy. I get it. It's got to be soul crushing, yet, she's not leaving. Your affair is over unless you want to remain his good time girl, his 1 hour escape from his marriage and responsibilities, because, he's shown you time and time again, that's all you'll ever be. Anything meaningful and lasting is over. You'll never be more that what you are now. Get it? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lurkeraspect Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 And another thing, though I don't think you've ever said; imagine this story was told by your daughter. What advice would you give her? As a mother myself, I can't imagine you'd just tell her to continue being **** on. Wake up woman. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author farrah5451 Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 Thank you, I get strength from all your responses as well as seeing things in a different light. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author farrah5451 Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 Really Farrah? This man isn't leaving his wife, isn't going to rescue you. He's had ample opportunity, and he's still there. He's informed his wife, you've told his wife, she's had her world blown up...yet there he sits. Right where he wants to be. I get you're pissed off at the BS because she hasn't packed his belongings and passed him on to you...not happening. It's over. I realize your husband has thrown in the flag and is done with your marriage (rightfully so) and you're baffled that the bs won't give you the same courtesy. I get it. It's got to be soul crushing, yet, she's not leaving. Your affair is over unless you want to remain his good time girl, his 1 hour escape from his marriage and responsibilities, because, he's shown you time and time again, that's all you'll ever be. Anything meaningful and lasting is over. You'll never be more that what you are now. Get it? Who said anything about being rescued? From early on, he told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I did too. I'm making it on my own and getting stronger everyday. I dont NEED a man, I wanted t share my life with him because i love him. We connect on every level. In the end I saw he was struggling and I said goodbye. Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy Girl Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 If he wanted to be wih you, if he loved you THAT MUCH, if your love was so strong, he'd be with you. It is that simple He's just trying to keep you on the hook. The question for you is: are you goin to fall for the words without looking at his actions? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author farrah5451 Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 If he wanted to be wih you, if he loved you THAT MUCH, if your love was so strong, he'd be with you. It is that simple He's just trying to keep you on the hook. The question for you is: are you goin to fall for the words without looking at his actions? Nope, Im not. Even though its only been one week and a miserable one at that, I started to see things a bit more clearly. Thanks partly to the responses here and being away from him. I initially was happy when he contacted me, but I began to get angry after I hung up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy47 Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 He has no right to ask you for anything. What a cheek he has. Poppy Link to post Share on other sites
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