Was he interested in an inner office romance?

[justahottie]

Do you think he was he interested in having an affair?

About 6 months a manager, who btw is not my boss, but occasionally I do work for cornered me in my bosses office while I was in there returning completed papers to his desk. I did not realize Mr. Manager was, sitting behind the desk at the time. I really don't know Mr. Manager very well as he has only been in our office about 2 years, nor do I have any feelings for him. He stood up and came over to me and grabbed my arm, stood real close and declared that he has feelings for me. After picking my chin up off the floor, I responded that I have a relationship and am not interested and turned and walked out.

 

After the incident I heard from another secretary that Mr. Manager had been complaining about his wife shutting him out and being unhappy with the current condition of his marriage. It appears that he had been listening intently to all the office conversations and apparently heard me discussing my marital disappointments, and decided that we were two lonely hearts sharing a common problem and thought we could get together and see what happened. The confusing part is that after he approached me and I rejected him, he went back to his own office and told another Manager what he had said and told him "not to not let me do anything stupid." I don't know what he meant by that for sure. I think he already did something stupid. Not sure if this could be considered harassment or not. I'm now very uncomfortable around him and have been told that he watches me whenever I get up and leave my desk. May have to work very close with him in the near future because the senior secretary is to retire soon and she spends a good bit of her day with him. Don't want to miss an opportunity for advancement, but don't know how to act around him, and I certainly don't trust him.

 

Since that fateful day, he avoids me whenever possible and suddenly has pics of wife on computer desktop and family pics on his desk. I'm not flattered by his attention since I am considered "not hard to look at" and have no trouble attracting hotties. He has a child not much younger than me and I am not interested in a father figure.

 

Also wonder if "someone" should inform his wife?

[Pocky]

I suggest you keep your nose out of his business. Don't gossip with anyone at the office as to what is occurring in his relationship and don't gossip with anyone in the office as to what he did. Get a notebook, write down the date and what occurred and keep it just in case something comes up. If you're ever question, say he has done this with someone else and they press charges, you'll want to be able to remember exactly what happened if you agree to cooperate.

 

Other than that, I'll just reiterate to stay out of his business. Being able to keep your mouth shut and adhere to confidentiality is a strong point for many employers. Where I work, we've fired people for talking to much.

[justahottie]

Thank you Pocky for the advice. I will keep my ears open and my mouth shut. I have already journeled the event in case something comes up in the future. Hopefully this was a one time incident and will end there.

[Pocky]

Hopefully, it is a one time case. Unfortunately, it was you that had to experience it. I've had my far share of harassment and I've kept a log of what happened just in case I found myself involved in some legalities. The less you talk about it with anyone in the office, the more credible you'll be if something does come up (IMHO). Office gossip has a way of portraying someone in a negative light and the last thing you want is for this to be turned around and you're now looking like the bad guy.

 

Good luck.

[shereebaby]

Wow kj I just read your post today and found it quite interesting as it may have been written by a co-worker of mine! Yes I absolutely think Romeo was definitely interested in either a romantic or physical relationship with you.

A girl in our office was approached by a manager that she has only known casually for about 2 years and he declared he has feelings for her. She responded back that she wasn't interested in a relationship with him and he then said he didn't mean it that way! Don't know how he expected her to take it except as romantic feelings. She left the room and has since avoided him like the plague. We all have noticed that our office Romeo now has pics of his family displayed in his office, interestingly enough, he moved his office away from the co-worker that he came on to. Her rejection must have caused him to do some soul searching and he realized that not everyone is lusting after him and started putting his energy into his own marriage. Sounds vaguely familiar doesn't it kj?

 

My advice is the same as Pocky, keep immaculate records of everything because you never know when you may need to recall these things. Not gossiping about the incident would also be wise. As far as telling Romeo's wife, I say no it's not necessary especially if all seems well with his relationship.

 

Do not let his unwelcome advance make you uncomfortable at work, you have just as much right to be there making a living the same as he, just be sure you're never never alone with him, and I would avoid being near him at lunch time too whether you eat at work or in a restaurant when conversations naturally take on a more personal tone. You don't need him starting to feel as if he may still have a chance to bond with you if you innocently start conversing with him. Everything must be strictly business with him always.

 

Best of luck and keep smiling!