feels like going through a break up and a new relationship at the same time

[torn87]

My H and I are doing great. Were are both happy and have made improvements as a couple and as individuals. We both knew he would work through his emotions better and faster than I would. It feels like a new relationship even though we are celebrating our 6yr anniversary soon.

 

However, on the flip side, I recently saw my exMM and now I'm reeling. I've been so focused on my husband and our marriage I really thought I was done and over the worst of missing the exMM. I chose my husband I want my H. So why then did it makes me so sad to see the exMM the other day? I hate that I can't talk this out with my H, weve shared everything these last few months, but I know it would make him sad and I've hurt him enough. I know my husband has certain "triggers" that will remind him of my deception and it would seem I have triggers as well but of a different kind. I wish I could forget the happy times I had with my exMM they make me feel sad guilty and occasionally nostalgic for a fantasy dream relationship that never existed. I know this wallowing only ruins my own happiness and healing process... As well as my H. Just really trying to stay on track and focus on what's important and what I really want.. I just was thrown a curve ball.

 

Has anyone else tried to work through one relationship while privately mourning the loss of another relationship simultaneously?

[road]

My H and I are doing great. Were are both happy and have made improvements as a couple and as individuals. We both knew he would work through his emotions better and faster than I would. It feels like a new relationship even though we are celebrating our 6yr anniversary soon.

 

However, on the flip side, I recently saw my exMM and now I'm reeling. I've been so focused on my husband and our marriage I really thought I was done and over the worst of missing the exMM. I chose my husband I want my H. So why then did it makes me so sad to see the exMM the other day? I hate that I can't talk this out with my H, weve shared everything these last few months, but I know it would make him sad and I've hurt him enough. I know my husband has certain "triggers" that will remind him of my deception and it would seem I have triggers as well but of a different kind. I wish I could forget the happy times I had with my exMM they make me feel sad guilty and occasionally nostalgic for a fantasy dream relationship that never existed. I know this wallowing only ruins my own happiness and healing process... As well as my H. Just really trying to stay on track and focus on what's important and what I really want.. I just was thrown a curve ball.

 

Has anyone else tried to work through one relationship while privately mourning the loss of another relationship simultaneously?

 

 

 

 

You can run but you can not hide.

 

 

Start all the threads you want. It will never change the need for total NC. You can not avoid that you and your BH need to move far away.

[Ronnie33]

You still love OM, you aren't over him. You love your husband too and want to make it work with him, but your head and heart aren't in the same place yet. Stay NC and keep walking through the pain and telling yourself that in order to see light you have to keep going forward.

Edited March 14, 2015 by Ronnie33