He is Catholic, I am not. Neither of us are very religious but want to get married.

[guest000]

In a catholic church. Is that possible?

Can we get married in a not very religious ceremony in a Catholic church? Possible?

thanks...

[moimeme]

Not usually. You might find a very liberal Catholic priest, but I doubt it. Why not get married at a university chapel by the chaplain or something like that?

[HoldOn]

It's no problem for a non-Catholic to marry a Catholic in the church. You will have to go through Pre-Cana counselling, just like every couple. However, I believe that any wedding in a church has to involve a full mass. But you can do it in a small chapel in a short ceremony if you wish.

 

Why do you want to get married in the church anyway if you're not very religious?

 

Another option is, there are many former priests who will marry you in the Catholic tradition, but it won't be an officially Catholic wedding. These priests are usually men who left the priesthood in order to get married.

 

Good Luck!

[HoldOn]

The easiest thing to do is just call a local priest and set up an appointment to talk about it. I'm sure you'll find it pretty easy.

[quankanne]

be advised that should you plan to marry in a Catholic ceremony, you will not be able to marry immediately -- as pointed out, you'll have to complete a Pre-Cana or engaged encounter weekend for a session in "what the sacrament of Marriage is all about in the eyes of the Catholic Church." and that'll cover everything from finances, dealing with in-laws and fighting fairly to bringing together people of two differing faith backgrounds and married sexuality. from what I understand, it can take six months or longer to arrange the date so that you receive the pre-marital counselling that you need as the priest determines.

 

marriage is not dealt with lightly, and the two of you may be in for a real eye-opening. your best bet is to set up an appointment with the priest from your BF's parish and talk to him about your desire to marry in the church. you may find that you don't want to have to jump through all kinds of hoops just to marry in the Catholic Church, or this may inspire you to become more actively involved in your/your boyfriend's faith.

[lynnspies1]

You can get married and you do not have to have a full mass. However you will have to go through the pre marriage stuff and you will have to sign a document that you will raise your children Catholic.

 

The problem I had in this situation was that when we were young it did not seem like a big deal. Then once we did have children and I the Catholic one wanted them to attend Catholic church my non-Catholic husband suddenly decided he did not like the Catholic church too much. So now I am responsible for the children religious upbringing and I go to church alone with them.

 

I know that family can put pressure on a couple to marry in the church but you have to realize how the Catholic church views marriage and there is no way to half a$$ it.

 

Good luck, God bless, Lynn

[sami]

How?? Is there one rule for all everywhere? Just curious.

[HoldOn]

Originally posted by sami

How?? Is there one rule for all everywhere? Just curious.

 

I believe she's speaking about how divorce and re-marriage after divorce are not allowed in the Church. Although it is not really a sin to separate from your husband, but you could still not remarry. It is possible to get an annulment, but you have to get permission from the pope or something.

 

I also agree with what QuankAnne said about really thinking if you want to do this. You will have to agree to raise the children Catholic. Even though you might not think it's a big deal now, having two parents with the same religious really makes a more stable household.

[moimeme]

How?? Is there one rule for all everywhere? Just curious

 

Yes. The Catholic church requires that people planning to marry attend marriage prep classes and that they agree to raise the kids Catholic.

[sami]

Thanks alot for the info. I really appreciate it.

[guest000]

So, What can be a happy medium I wonder?

Because yeah, quite frankly, this is our marriage, not a marriage between me, him and the church. it is ours.

I am not very religious as you can see.

I was thinking maybe a non-denominational wedding in a chapel, because I do not dislike churches,

I just do not want to feel guilt or pressure because of a church. But to each their own.

Deciding this I think will be the hardest part of us getting married. Who woulda thunk it.

[xring]

I can't speak for any recent changes in the Catholic church, but I married a Catholic girl and I'm Protestant. We married almost 30 years ago. We did go to a couple pre marriage counseling sessions (she went to more than I did). I believe I was asked to sign the document agreeing to bring our children up in the Catholic church, but I declined. I can't really remember if I was asked or not, but I had made it clear that I would not sign such a document, so they may have not asked explicitly. We were married in a Catholic church in a non-Mass ceremony with both a priest and my minister officiating. Some of her family were a little shocked that it wasn't a mass, but we got through it with no real problems.

 

So, there is hope. I believe, if anything, the Catholic church is probably more liberal on this subject that when we were married. I wish you the best of luck and a long and happy marriage.

 

xring

[xring]

Well, I'm living proof it can happen.

 

My wife and I were married almost 30 years ago. She was Catholic and I am Protestant. We were married in a Catholic church in a non-Mass ceremony. The ceremony was officiated by both a Catholic Priest and my minister.

 

We were asked to go to some pre-marriage counseling. It was a rather large class at the University religious center. She went to more sessions than I did, but I attended some of them. I can't specifically recall if anyone asked me to sign a paper agreeing to have our children raised as Catholics, but I know I was quite outspoken about not signing such a document, so the Church officials may not have pushed the issue with us. All I know is that I didn't sign anything like that.

 

So, it can be done, you just need to be very forthright in your thoughts and plans. I can't believe that it is impossible now since I was able to do this almost 30 years ago.

 

Good luck and I wish you a happy and prosperous marriage to the one you love!

 

xring

[yuv]

Check out the Episcopal church. They will require pre-marriage classes that I guarantee you will find useful because they won't beat you over the head with religion (some people think that's what happens at these things--it doesn't). The Episcopal ceremoney requires that ONE of you be a baptized Christian, the ceremony is very Catholic-like so your spouse to be will feel very at home (in terms of seeing what they might have been used to), and one of the best things... it's viewed as a sacramental between the two of you. In other words, they make no claim on your future offspring like the Orthodox or Cathloic churches.

 

As for xring's experience, a Catholic church will no longer permit a concelebration with another officiant of a different denomination--if you're in a Catholic church, they won't allow a minister these days. Personally, I had a small Catholic ceremony with literally ten people, and our larger ceremony with 100 guests was officiated by an Episcopal priest. BTW, an Episcopal priest can marry you anywhere, like a reception hall. A Catholic priest must marry you inside of a church. It sounds therefore like you should probably resolve these questions by talking to an Episcopal priest, or perhaps a pastor from another Christian denomination, such as Congregational.

 

Hope this helped

[neek]

Check out the Episcopal church. They will require pre-marriage classes that I guarantee you will find useful because they won't beat you over the head with religion (some people think that's what happens at these things--it doesn't). The Episcopal ceremoney requires that ONE of you be a baptized Christian, the ceremony is very Catholic-like so your spouse to be will feel very at home (in terms of seeing what they might have been used to), and one of the best things... it's viewed as a sacramental between the two of you. In other words, they make no claim on your future offspring like the Orthodox or Cathloic churches.

 

As for xring's experience, a Catholic church will no longer permit a concelebration with another officiant of a different denomination--if you're in a Catholic church, they won't allow a minister these days.

Personally, I had a small Catholic ceremony with literally ten people, and our larger ceremony with 100 guests was officiated by an Episcopal priest. BTW, an Episcopal priest can marry you anywhere, like a reception hall.

 

A Catholic priest must marry you inside of a church. It sounds therefore like you should probably resolve these questions by talking to an Episcopal priest, or perhaps a pastor from another Christian denomination, such as Congregational.

 

Hope this helped

 

Do you know if it is viewed as sacramental if it were to be Lutheran? Can you provide any more info on what the Episcopal church believes and it's customs? I was raised Catholic but am having similar issues and want to know more about other Christian religions.

 

Hmm, I didnt know you couldn't have a minister officiate along with a priest anymore. That sucks! Good to know that an Episcopal priest would marry anywhere though. Do you know if this is true of Lutheran ministers? Can they do outdoor weddings??

[Guest]

Check out the Episcopal church. They will require pre-marriage classes that I guarantee you will find useful because they won't beat you over the head with religion (some people think that's what happens at these things--it doesn't). The Episcopal ceremoney requires that ONE of you be a baptized Christian, the ceremony is very Catholic-like so your spouse to be will feel very at home (in terms of seeing what they might have been used to), and one of the best things... it's viewed as a sacramental between the two of you. In other words, they make no claim on your future offspring like the Orthodox or Cathloic churches.

 

As for xring's experience, a Catholic church will no longer permit a concelebration with another officiant of a different denomination--if you're in a Catholic church, they won't allow a minister these days. Personally, I had a small Catholic ceremony with literally ten people, and our larger ceremony with 100 guests was officiated by an Episcopal priest. BTW, an Episcopal priest can marry you anywhere, like a reception hall. A Catholic priest must marry you inside of a church. It sounds therefore like you should probably resolve these questions by talking to an Episcopal priest, or perhaps a pastor from another Christian denomination, such as Congregational.

 

Hope this helped

This post and others contain several incorrect statements. First, it is false that a Catholic wedding may only occur in a church. It is also false that a priest must preside over the wedding. Since marriage is the one sacrament that the priest does not minister (the bride and groom minister it to each other), a priest is not required and other church officers may conduct the ceremony.

 

Since you are not Catholic, you can get a dispensation from the church to allow the marriage. It is routine can costs $5-10.

 

Pre-Cana is required for all couples, even if both are Catholic.

 

If you do the church wedding, you can do either a Mass or a Liturgy of the Word. I suggest the latter since it would be a bit awkward for you to be unable to receive the Eucharist at your own wedding.

 

Like anyone else who is married in the Church, you also must promise the raise your children as Catholics.

 

You should discuss all this with your fiance's church. Of course, since neither of you cares about religion, why have a religious ceremony? Just find someone who is empowered by the state to solemnize marriage and you can have the wedding anywhere you damn well please.

[Lennox]

Deciding what to do about the ceremony itself is easy compared to dealing with everyday married life. I'd think twice and consider carefully whether the difference in your faiths will adversely affect your chances at a successful marriage.

 

Especially since this is already weighing heavy on your mind...and you're not even married yet. Good luck whatever you decide to do. Personally, I'd never make a promise to anyone that I would raise my kids in that hokey religion...and I certainly would never baptize them while they are still little babies. That would have to be their choice when they get older.

[neek]

This post and others contain several incorrect statements. First, it is false that a Catholic wedding may only occur in a church.

 

No, this is true. I JUST spoke to two different priests and both said that Catholic priests cannot marry outside of the church, and if you choose to have it outside of the church the marriage is not considered sacramentally valid and it is just viewed as you living with a man (or woman).

[cygny]

In a catholic church. Is that possible?

Can we get married in a not very religious ceremony in a Catholic church? Possible?

thanks...

 

 

i was married in a beautiful baroque chapel in Rome and registered in the catholic parish as a wedding--we were considered to be married in the catholic church. but it was a protestant ceremony performed by a british methodist missionary to india (this was under the prior pope who was more liberal, and my fiance and i had to go to the vicariate and make some pledges to satisfy the catholic church). we were both protestants.

 

i doubt that they would have let us marry in a not-religious ceremony, however.

 

btw, this was a first in the Catholic church!

[Ladylay]

In a catholic church. Is that possible?

Can we get married in a not very religious ceremony in a Catholic church? Possible?

thanks...

Yep no prob, my O/H is very catholic , I was lapsed C/E

We had a Catholic service without the mass.

All the Catholic church wanted was my Christening cert..

[quankanne]

This post and others contain several incorrect statements. First, it is false that a Catholic wedding may only occur in a church. It is also false that a priest must preside over the wedding. Since marriage is the one sacrament that the priest does not minister (the bride and groom minister it to each other), a priest is not required and other church officers may conduct the ceremony.

 

a Catholic wedding has as its presider an ordained member of the clergy (deacon, priest or bishop); they are not "officers" of the church. It is my understanding that the ceremony must take place on consecrated ground (chapel, church).

 

Do you know if it is viewed as sacramental if it were to be Lutheran? Can you provide any more info on what the Episcopal church believes and it's customs? I was raised Catholic but am having similar issues and want to know more about other Christian religions.

 

only if that non-Catholic church considers marriage a sacrament in the same way the Catholic Church does; however, the Church does recognize marriages between two non-Catholics or a Cath/non-Cath as valid (sacramental) as long are there are no impediments to that marriage (i.e. this is a first marriage for both). In fact, part of the annulment process in the church is to determine whether a previous marriage was valid in the Church, and those are the issues they look at.