suzyq2021 Posted March 8, 2001 Share Posted March 8, 2001 I am 20 yrs old.When i was 15 I met a boy, I wentout with him but I broke it off after about a month. He became my best friend. A year later a met another guy, we dated for a year and I got pregnant. Both our families basically forced us to get married. He made me choose between him and my best friend, and of course being pregnant and 16 I chose him. Now my husband an I both know that marriage was not what we wanted.We have seperated but are still dating. Anyway over the past 3 yrs I have thought about my friend alot and missed him. I want to talk to him again but I am afraid of hurting my husband, What should i do? Do i take the chance or try to forget about him? Link to post Share on other sites
Rosie Posted March 8, 2001 Share Posted March 8, 2001 the two of you may not have wanted this marriage, but the fact is that you did get pregnant and now you and your husband are no longer the priority, your child is. what do you think your child would want? obviously, your child would want you and your husband to work things out, your child should not have to adjust his/her life to better accustom you, you should adjust your life to accustom your child. you don't have to listen to me but please think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 8, 2001 Share Posted March 8, 2001 Your first concern should be determining whether or not you want this marriage to work. A decent guy would not have made you drop a friend. Only a very immature and insecure guy would do that. There was a good reason you got pregnant. Now, you have to think about some good reasons why you should spend the rest of your life with the father. You cannot hurt your husband. He can only allow himself to hurt himself. Call your friend and see how he's doing. You tell your husband you are a free person and if he has any love for you at all, he will give you the freedom to be you and explore what you need to explore. If you decide you want to be more than friends with anyone else, then you need to get a divorce. I urge you to stop thinking about other men, male friends, etc. until you resolve your present marriage woes. Once you get that resolved, then move on to other things. You don't need the confusion of other men right now. At your stage of vulnerability, it would be very easy for you to dive headfirst into another BAD situation. Wait until your mind is clear to reacquaint yourself with your old boyfriend who became a friend. I might add, you are way too young to consider your child in what you do here. You are the one who needs to be get your life on track right now. No matter what you do, you will care for your child and make the right decisions concerning its emotional and social development. YOU are the primary consideration here. Don't stay in a bad marriage, if you deem it so, because of the child. You do no favors for a child to bring it up in a screwed up home. Link to post Share on other sites
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