Guitarisgood Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 I was friends with this girl beforehand; interested at one point til she turned me down and I kick started my change - no hard feelings as I don't know if I'd date myself looking back. She soon shacked up with a guy friend of mine but that didn't last long and they said they ended it amicably. Rocking up to a few parties and I've gotten close to this girl again. I'm generally the fun guy; friends with everyone that flirts with everyone. Chicks love me, they know I'm out to have fun. Guys on the other hand stand around moping particularly those with an interest in the girls I'm having fun with. So with this girl we ended up dancing together, holding hands and twirling etc. I mean I've tried to wingman them in the past but they prefer to look 'cool' standing by the bar. Come uni starts again and the male friend seems to be acting so differently towards me now. Mopey is an understatement at times. Being part of the 'in crowd' boys group the guys seem a bit more distant too. This is especially so if I ended up bumping into said girl and we walk to class together. Obviously I get the feeling the 'don't date or interact with your friends ex' is coming into play and anyone who goes against it is looked down upon. Now I to be honest I have had enough of this. I've been thinking lately that these guys aren't really my friends. I'm never invited to things outside of university they organize, they've got their inside jokes and generally I'm more a drifter between social circles. Heck I try to start conversations with them, keeping in touch etc and they just let the conversation go. Yet I'm still expected to follow some code they uphold. Heck one night I was chatting to girls here and there and one of the guys basically blocked me from conversation with both girls (whom one he has a crush on and the other is part of his close circle he has built). As you can see, I'm getting tired of this trying to stick with the in-crowd and keeping on friendly terms with everyone while being me. Heck with this girl everything is platonic at the moment so we've not done anything wrong. Yet I feel ostracized and guilt some times because of this. Sad thing is I've always been one to try to please everyone. What do I do? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 It sounds like you value your independence. If this other guy her EX wasn't your BFF & was more some guy you know the rules about not dating your friends' EXs don't really apply. That advice comes from the idea that if you already had a front row seat to the relationship, there is no good reason to become the star player in Act II. Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 You are missing the real problem. If this girl turned you down once, chances are it will never go anywhere. This is not the fantasy world of TV and movies. You get one chance per girl in your lifetime. No problem! - there are plenty more fish in the sea. Link to post Share on other sites
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