SleekArchitecture Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 I have had a long distance relationship, unconditional love through out the affair, around the same number of years. I met him after a Dday. I mentioned him to my affair partner after one of multiple break ups and he nervously? laughed and made fun of his name and did not take it seriously. Although, he has shown jealousy, he is not the jealous type which was good. I mention this because I found out this morning I broke his heart and I had no idea that I caused another to feel bad. I did tell him I had to go away and find myself and disappeared. Our friendship has been a few years. I always in humor call him Mr. Big, he does big, successful, start up productions and companies, international, all over the world, and he is involved in every aspect of all exciting professions all the way to runways. He is deeply soulful but very powerful, commanding in a way people , friends, and all love him as a person, friend, brother, and inspiration. Also being handsome does not hurt either. Handsome and a genuinely nice person, although can become a werewolf in business dealings. I wrote him a quick note last night that my finding myself was going so well, simply written. He wrote back that he has been throwing himself into work and trying to mend his heart. He wrote maybe you will reply to my email. I have been so selfish in my own drama that I never realized I was hurting someone else. I believe I must be in the affair fog. Why am I and why have I done this to myself for a man who can offer me nothing but sex? Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 Only you can answer that. I have yet to meet a single man who has the attractive qualities MM has, but you can bet your bottom dollar if I did, I would drop MM in a heartbeat. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SleekArchitecture Posted March 14, 2015 Author Share Posted March 14, 2015 Only you can answer that. I have yet to meet a single man who has the attractive qualities MM has, but you can bet your bottom dollar if I did, I would drop MM in a heartbeat. This man has all attractive qualities and finds cheating a character flaw and it makes him sick, the deception. He knows of my situation, and while he is against it, he has unconditional love for me, and has spoke about it, working through it, the feelings with me. I was afraid at the time we spoke of it, he would never speak to me again, but he did. He has a big problem with it and does not respect it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SleekArchitecture Posted March 14, 2015 Author Share Posted March 14, 2015 He explained it this way: I deal with big money, big corp, big deals everyday, livelihood's at stake. I do not want to deal with a cheater, a flawed character, a flawed man, they are dangerous. He said cheaters are bad business. He does not do bad business. This is how he looks at it. I am not completely sure exactly what he means by this, but he says it with fervor and force. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruffian1 Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 "This man has all attractive qualities and finds cheating a character flaw" Do you think cheating is not a character flaw? If not, then what? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SleekArchitecture Posted March 14, 2015 Author Share Posted March 14, 2015 "This man has all attractive qualities and finds cheating a character flaw" Do you think cheating is not a character flaw? If not, then what? I would have to say yes. But, I think for it to be a flaw, it must be all consuming and done serially and be at the core of one's being. I never searched for an affair partner and I will never become involved with a married man again. So is this a permanent character flaw? No. Will others here believe I am permanently flawed? I am sure they will stone me as another poster described it, as a scarlet woman, without character. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SleekArchitecture Posted March 14, 2015 Author Share Posted March 14, 2015 I wrote him that I love him and this has not changed and will never change. He has never been a fall back guy. The distance makes it difficult. Hong Kong, Paris, Singapore, months and months at a time, he is there and not here. I wish love was easier. When will a he be here? Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted March 15, 2015 Share Posted March 15, 2015 He explained it this way: I deal with big money, big corp, big deals everyday, livelihood's at stake. I do not want to deal with a cheater, a flawed character, a flawed man, they are dangerous. He said cheaters are bad business. He does not do bad business. This is how he looks at it. I am not completely sure exactly what he means by this, but he says it with fervor and force. As he views a cheater as having a character flaw, does he view you as having a character flaw for being with a MM or is the cheater just the married person ? Unfortunately some people gets labels that stick with them, but because you cheat once doesn't mean you'll do it again. The view could be it's not something you wouldn't do on moral grounds at least. I do think if someone cheats once, it's easier the next time though. It ends up not necessarily being that big of a deal after the first time according to my co-worker who's cheated numerous times and had 4 LTAs during his marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted March 15, 2015 Share Posted March 15, 2015 As he views a cheater as having a character flaw, does he view you as having a character flaw for being with a MM or is the cheater just the married person ? Unfortunately some people gets labels that stick with them, but because you cheat once doesn't mean you'll do it again. The view could be it's not something you wouldn't do on moral grounds at least. I do think if someone cheats once, it's easier the next time though. It ends up not necessarily being that big of a deal after the first time according to my co-worker who's cheated numerous times and had 4 LTAs during his marriage. But it's not really a one time thing. She's been having an affair for several years. She claims to love the other guy and yet was still sleeping with her affair partner. So one can see his ambivalence towards her. He loves her but she has shown him why he cannot put his heart in her hands because she has already crushed it. I guess he won't allow a second time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
irishguy Posted March 15, 2015 Share Posted March 15, 2015 He told you how he views cheaters ,so you cheating is probably worse in his eyes because he thought you were better than that ,i dont see any future in this friendship,did you actually tell him you cared for him when you were in your affair . Link to post Share on other sites
Author SleekArchitecture Posted March 15, 2015 Author Share Posted March 15, 2015 He told you how he views cheaters ,so you cheating is probably worse in his eyes because he thought you were better than that ,i dont see any future in this friendship,did you actually tell him you cared for him when you were in your affair . We have a very deep unconditional love for each other. We spoke this morning about how much we miss one another. He knows me inside and out, and no he does not view me, (although he may not like it) at all badly. We are the best of friends, regardless if we are ever able to evolve into a settled relationship. We speak of everything, we are LD, and we understand the limits at this time. We have an emotionally mature love. He is a remarkable man, handsome, and does a lot of socializing, parties, and events. After a few too many socializing cocktails and conversation, he has fallen in the sack with a beautiful woman a few times here or there, and was always honest, and we always had a good chuckle and conversation about it the next morning. Link to post Share on other sites
irishguy Posted March 15, 2015 Share Posted March 15, 2015 How come ye dont meet up ,since he seems to travel so much why doesnt he travel to where you live . Link to post Share on other sites
Author SleekArchitecture Posted March 15, 2015 Author Share Posted March 15, 2015 How come ye dont meet up ,since he seems to travel so much why doesnt he travel to where you live . He can when he is not half way around the world. The flights can be 20 or so hours for leisure and this is difficult when you again in one day may need to connect to Europe leisurely and then take a jet to Singapore, Australia, assortment of places. Link to post Share on other sites
irishguy Posted March 15, 2015 Share Posted March 15, 2015 Ok slightly strange relationship,basically FWB.Where do you see this relationship going .Are you sure he doesnt have a wife or girlfriend somewhere . Link to post Share on other sites
Author SleekArchitecture Posted March 15, 2015 Author Share Posted March 15, 2015 Ok slightly strange relationship,basically FWB.Where do you see this relationship going .Are you sure he doesnt have a wife or girlfriend somewhere . I absolutely know this, interacting with many of his friends and family. He has nothing to hide about himself, very open and very public. Link to post Share on other sites
irishguy Posted March 15, 2015 Share Posted March 15, 2015 Ok so whats the future , are ye going to commit to each other ,or will continue to bring others into the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SleekArchitecture Posted March 15, 2015 Author Share Posted March 15, 2015 Ok so whats the future , are ye going to commit to each other ,or will continue to bring others into the relationship. I have no earthly idea. We are non exclusively exclusive. I am as confused as you. Link to post Share on other sites
irishguy Posted March 15, 2015 Share Posted March 15, 2015 No point in future you going out looking to meet someone if this relationship is still going on . Link to post Share on other sites
Author SleekArchitecture Posted March 15, 2015 Author Share Posted March 15, 2015 I do not know. I am not ready do go out and multi date. He is a rare deeply loving and emotional man. I know he would be the one who would come to my wedding and wish me well and be happy if I found happiness. This is who he is. He may not love the idea, but we both support each other through everything. Link to post Share on other sites
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