pippen_2k Posted April 10, 2005 Share Posted April 10, 2005 My ex girlfriend broke up with me a little more than 3 months ago.. and since that time I havnt seen her once, and only talked on the phone once about 2 weeks ago. She knows perfectly well how I feel about her, but on the phone the other night she said she didnt know what she wanted and didnt wanna give me false hope. Anyway I logged on to my messanger this afternoon and she messages me just to say hi.. she said she was about to go out for dinner with a close friend of hers and she asked if I would like to come..???????? I was like WTF! The girl who has been avoiding me all this time asked me to go to dinner with her... DaMn. I declined the offer saying I didnt wanna intrude, and that I would love to catch up and shout her out to dinner one night in the next week or so if she was keen.... she replied by saying "I wouldnt have asked u 2 come if I didnt want you to. You wouldnt be intruding, it is late tho so I understand. We will do dinner soon. Keen now what night! " - I let her know that Tuesday or Thursday is cool with me but since that message I havnt heard back. I just wanna know how I should act IF I get the opportunity to go to dinner with her this week... Should I mention anything about US or just act Joe Cool and all happy? I really love this girl and dont wanna blow this 1 opportunity I might be getting so any advice on what should be said and how I should act would be much appreciated. Im trying to tell myself now tho not to get my hopes up cause I just get that feeling she will give me the 'im too busy' later on and wont do dinner which will just give me more pain... Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Gottabestrong Posted April 10, 2005 Share Posted April 10, 2005 Dear Pippen, been in a similar situation last month. My ex who broke up with me in October, and who I had not seen in 4 months, gave me a call after 6 weeks of NC. During the phonecall we made dinner plans for the next weekend. I posted on here if you want to read the advice other people gave me. Well, the outcome was that when I saw him I realized how much I still loved him, but also realized that he did not want to get back together. That hurt a lot and I felt like I was back at square one. I met him a second time the next week and it was even clearer to me that he did not think about getting back together. Since then I have decided that I need to move on. Anyway, my advice to you is to guard your heart. Don't expect this to be the start of a second chance. Assume that she is just curious and maybe missed your friendship. If it is more than that's a pleasant surprise. If she cancels and the meeting never happens, act cool and don't show her your disappointment. Good luck with everything! Link to post Share on other sites
Author pippen_2k Posted April 10, 2005 Author Share Posted April 10, 2005 Thanks for the reply Gottabestrong! My barriers are already up for this dinner meeting ( If it happens ) , and Im expecting nothing good to really come out of it... I just must be a sucker for punishment! Ive had months now of pain and suffering, so Im like what the hell.. Ive been dying for this day for 3 months now.. may as well give it a shot! Ive kinda been kicking myself in the ass for the past few hours, not accepting her invitation to dinner tonight, Dont know what I was thinking rejecting the offer? But we will see what pans out in the next couple of days..if she replies with a confirmation to dinner or weather she rejects it.. time will tell.. But all i know is that its gonna be very very uncomfortable for me..and more than likely her... I have nooooo idea what im gonna talk about.. some suggestions would be cool. I read your Thread just before Gottabestrong and im kinda expecting the same to what u got... the just on friends level, which I really dont think im ready for..I definatly want more! But at the same time I dont wanna go there and beg and get all mushy on her.. that would just be a huge turnoff! I think if anything is to eventuate again im gonna have to look and act happy, and that I dont look all needy..thats definatley more attractive! Im also just curious, if everything does go all well and we have a good time how do I end the night? Ask her if we can do it again soon? or if i can call her during the week? or just let her end the night, becuase I just donna wanna leave saying 'thanks for the night, see ya later' that would probably just hurt me... Gawd! This is gonna be playing on my mind big time the next few days..and yet again it gives me that stupid feeling of hope which keeps returning to bite me in the ass.... Ill keep yas posted Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted April 10, 2005 Share Posted April 10, 2005 Pippen, What exactly are you in love with then? Keep in mind that this person has changed over the time period you have been apart and probably will surprise you with some of her new thought processes and such. Just go into as you would go into any dinner with a former friend. The old relationship is just that, old and should be kept in the past. You will know her intentions quickly during dinner, but let her take the initiative to bring them up. Now if in the future you both decide to get back together...then I believe it is imperative to discuss why the first relationship did not work out and how you will both work to avoid the pitfalls that you both had. Too many people get back together for a second chance without talking about the past......and thus fall back into the same problems later on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pippen_2k Posted April 11, 2005 Author Share Posted April 11, 2005 Well its been almost 24 hours since I asked her what night we should do dinner.. and as I kinda expected could happen.... no reply... She asked me last night what night we should do dinner and she said she was keen, so I have no idea why she's not replying now.... God this girl is confusing! One second she wants to talk the next she dissapears... Grrrrrr Should I message her tonight and ask if we are still on? or should I just sit back and wait for her to contact me... I dunno.... I knew this was potential for pain.. and yep..its playin on my mind and kinda messin me up a little! Link to post Share on other sites
demonfall Posted April 11, 2005 Share Posted April 11, 2005 It's only been a day. Let her contact you. You're only going to look desperate if you start messaging her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pippen_2k Posted April 11, 2005 Author Share Posted April 11, 2005 Well...Out of nowhere this afternoon ( about 2 hours after my last post where I thought she was ignoring me again ) She rings me and asks if its alright for her to drop around to my place and show me her new car! I was like ..yeah thats cool... anyway she gets here, shows me her new car and after that we go inside my place and just had a friendly chat. We talked for about 30 mins, laughed and not once did she or I mention anything about our past relationship! When she left she wished me a happy Bday ( cause its my B Day today HOOOOOOOOOOOOO ) gave me a hug and kiss and said it was real good to see me. I said If your still keen for dinner sometime let me know .. and she said How about tomorrow? which I agreed on.. At not one point in the visit did she give me any sense of hope, which is fine..Im kinda glad it wasnt mentioned cause it would have made things very uncomfortable. I acted cool and calm the whole time, and had a constant smile on my face.. so I think I acted really well. I think the most important thing for me to do is not get my hopes up which is hard but im gonna try and see what happens after tomorrow. It just feels kinda weird after all this time she is now talking to me and even seeing me now..... dont know what sparked it off? Thanks too everyone who has replied so far.. ur responses are much appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pippen_2k Posted April 12, 2005 Author Share Posted April 12, 2005 Well, I just got back then from dinner with me ex, and I really kicked myself in the ass! I got out of the car and started crying like a lil biatch! The whole dinner was very FRIENDLY. There was no mention of us, we had some nice food, talked about stuff in general, laughed, listened to music and then she dropped me home. On the drive back from dinner I got them knots in my stomache as I had a feeling that when I got home I wasnt gonna get the goodbye I wanted. All she said was like " thanks for dinner, and ill cya again sometime " I was hoping for so much more and I never got it... Its cut me to pieces! But the whole time I was with her I acted extremely happy! Oh well..what to do now.. I dunno.... This has fuged me up! Probably shouldnt have gone.... Link to post Share on other sites
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