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Haven't had sex with husband in 6 weeks!


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The thing is, it never used to be like this. He was a VERY sexual person and I actually had to take days off to recover! It's just dropped off completely. Maybe he is feeling very self-conscious about his weight gain. He has gained quite a bit of weight over the past year or so. I really wish he would eat better/less and exercise, but that falls upon deaf ears. He says he wants to do all that, but like with anything else, if it requires effort, it may happen once but then never again. It killed me when we went for a hike up a mountain last fall. It was like a 30 minute drive there, 1 1/2 hours up and 1 hour down, 30 minute drive back. He says to me "We should do this every Saturday". Are you kidding me?! He goes "Yeah we'll just make it a point to set aside a few hours every Saturday and do this." On what planet would you do that? I didn't say any of this to him but I knew he would never speak of it again. Sure enough, it's been 6 months and I have yet to hear from him about ever doing that again.

 

Well I tell you what.

 

I 'USED TO BE' very sexual towards my wife who rarely if ever wants sex. In my frustration I just mentally turned myself off towards her. Now I have no desire to have sex with her at all, I don't want to touch her, look at her or anything.

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Well I tell you what.

 

I 'USED TO BE' very sexual towards my wife who rarely if ever wants sex. In my frustration I just mentally turned myself off towards her. Now I have no desire to have sex with her at all, I don't want to touch her, look at her or anything.

 

Well I never NOT wanted sex. Yet there were times when I was tired and sore but I would still have sex with him because it made HIM happy and I enjoyed it as well, but it wasn't the first thing I wanted to do. I still remember the ONE time I told him no he fussed and fumed and stomped around and wanted nothing to do with me. I ended up apologizing to him the next morning. Now why should I have to apologize for that? In 10 years it is the first and only time I have said no. How does he think I feel lately when I try to be sexy and touch him and get nothing? He can fuss and fume over one night of no sex even though he got it 2 days earlier and 2 days later but I should understand him not wanting to have sex with me for 2 months? Seems a bit unfair, don't you think?

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Okay now it all makes sense. He just called me at work and told me he has been somewhat depressed and he feels he wants to go in for in-patient alcohol treatment. I know he drinks a lot but I didn't really see him wanting to go into rehab. I think it's great and I think it will cure a lot of his issues.

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Quite honestly, I don't think he will quit drinking. He may quit for a month or so, but with his lifestyle and friends, I can't see him abstaining. He goes to the racetrack for the weekend and what does everyone do when the day is done? Bust out the booze and drink the night away. I know he would join them in that and then just tell me it's one weekend and that he'll go back to not drinking when we get home because there won't be any alcohol in the house. I think that will be an excuse any time we go out saying "We rarely go out so just drinking on those nights are fine and then I won't drink again".

 

 

I also really think he is using this inpatient treatment as a way to get out of work. Because he said when he called the counselors who assessed him they said they didn't think he really needed to be in inpatient but rather outpatient. But he told them there was no way he could deal with not drinking and also having to deal with going to a job he hates. He said he could be there anywhere from 10-30 days. Seeing as he has already not been to work for 3 weeks, we are looking at yet another month of no income from him. He doesn't seem to be bothered by the fact that I have to pay every single bill, including his monthly $350 motorcycle loan payment, and now on top of our $2000 in monthly bills (add to that groceries and gas) we now have to pay $3200 in taxes to the IRS so are doing that in installments but that's still $800 that needs to be paid to them by April 15! His response? "It will all work out in the end. Just relax and trust me! We've made it this far right?" If he had some savings, it would be helpful, but he has $0 in his savings and I think he is down to about $60 in his bank account. However he has 2 credit cards which he has run up about a $3500 debt on!

Edited by Mapper71
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