Spectre Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 You cheated emotionally and the wife cheated physically. You guys sound like you were made for each other. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoshCube Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 Sorry but you had an EA. Sorry, U.S. courts do not recognize EA as a liable defense. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Sorry, U.S. courts do not recognize EA as a liable defense. Verbal communication isn't cheating. Becoming emotionally involved is. Let me just bottom line this for you: at any time during your marriage did you develop feelings of a more then friendly nature with any woman? If you did, you cheated too. Doesn't matter if you never touched, it's still cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoshCube Posted April 7, 2015 Author Share Posted April 7, 2015 I will grant you that it is much easier when you socialize among coworkers, fellow students etc,. Not to depress you but, it can be difficult to meet and find friends where ever you go now days. I am fortunate to have a career where I travel coast to coast here in the US, also occasionally Canada and Europe. In general I find that I really have to make an effort to meet and find real friends where ever I've been. My party days are well behind me so it is not as easy as it used to be. But if you have a hobby or an interest like hunting or fishing up in WI, it would have been much easier for you. Of course it's understandable if you are not into these types of activities. I will also tell you that I feel your WW having an A in retaliation was wrong, even if your online relationship was also wrong. Her response showed an incredible lack of maturity on her part. The very least would have been to discuss the discovery with you and try to work on the M. Sounds to me like there is a lot more going on here, particularly with her. Who sleeps with their own step-father? Borders on incest, but that's for a different topic for another thread. The main thing is for you to move on as soon as your D is finalize, and learn from your own mistakes in this outcome. I hope you will take the time you need and get your life together before moving into another relationship. She went her entire life in school without having friends, and people made fun of her for being in Special Ed. Because she grew up with the whole world hating her, she psychologically developed a rebel mindset. When she committed adultery behind my back, she did it for one reason. Revenge. She saw me as a potential threat when she found out about the Australian girl, so she selected the ultimate payback to deal with the situation. Now because of her selfishness, it has cost her her marriage with me. She has insecurity issues about her men being around other women. I'm actually not in shock that she slept with her step-father, because we are both big fans of the incest fetish. We would role play as father/daughter and brother/sister all the time, because I had trouble getting an orgasm with her in bed. Our entire 7 years we've been together, it was extremely hard for me to orgasm, and I had to think of so many fetishes in order to reach climax. According to a psychology document I read, it said that if the couple is both having orgasmic issues, then it means the couple is having issues in the relationship. It was likely that our relationship was built all on lust, and not emotion. If my wife had at least talked to me about wanting to sleep with a family member, I would have been OK with it. Hell, I would have set up a camera and jacked off to her banging her step-father, and wouldn't have had an ounce of jealousy. What made me jealous and file the D was when she did this behind my back, and didn't tell me. This is just a knife in my back. By her doing this, it just means she didn't love me in the long run. I have zero tolerance for cheating, so now, she will suffer the consequences. On a side note, incest is best, take your family to the test. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoshCube Posted April 7, 2015 Author Share Posted April 7, 2015 She disrespected you on so many levels and she s not only stupid for cheating on a nice man like you ,she even spent money on a man ! that's just dumb. It is actually common for women to spend money on men, they are typically known as "players". Sometimes the women will spend money on him, because she loves him. Its the thought that counts. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 On a side note, incest is best, take your family to the test. You mentioned earlier that you were glad you didn't have kids. I'm thinking that I am, too. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoshCube Posted April 7, 2015 Author Share Posted April 7, 2015 Verbal communication isn't cheating. Becoming emotionally involved is. Let me just bottom line this for you: at any time during your marriage did you develop feelings of a more then friendly nature with any woman? If you did, you cheated too. Doesn't matter if you never touched, it's still cheating. If a woman is going to commit adultery on me for slipping into an EA, then I should be locked in a basement away from society. Action is way more serious than thought. A person can have thoughts about wanting another person, but its the action that counts. She committed adultery in action, and she is more at guilt. Link to post Share on other sites
Lurkeraspect Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Sorry, U.S. courts do not recognize EA as a liable defense. Wisconsin is a no-fault divorce state, so neither of your affairs matter to the court. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoshCube Posted April 7, 2015 Author Share Posted April 7, 2015 You mentioned earlier that you were glad you didn't have kids. I'm thinking that I am, too. Hahahahahahahaha, thanks for the laugh. I hope I have kids one day. I'll populate my own town. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 If a woman is going to commit adultery on me for slipping into an EA, then I should be locked in a basement away from society. If you are saying the only way you could stop yourself from cheating is to be locked away..well, then doesn't that tell you something? Action is way more serious than thought. A person can have thoughts about wanting another person, but its the action that counts. She committed adultery in action, and she is more at guilt. I don't think you quite get what an emotional affair is. An emotional affair is not you having thoughts about having sex with another woman. An emotional affair is you developing any FEELINGS for another woman that are more then platonic. It also sounds like the only reason your affair didn't become physical was due to distance. Either way though, you did cheat too. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 (edited) Sorry, U.S. courts do not recognize EA as a liable defense. Sorry you are not in court before a judge. You are in a forum in front of your peers. An EA is still wrong. Edited April 7, 2015 by road Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoshCube Posted April 7, 2015 Author Share Posted April 7, 2015 Post 83 "she was financially supporting me this whole time." So what you are saying is that she earned the $2400 she spent on her trips. And the money that you are saving up is the money she has earned? You can't find a party in Wisconsin, because it snows 8 months a year? When the Packers are in the state the Cheeseheads spend the whole day outside partying, and it doesn't matter if it is 10 below zero. And they have a waiting list of how many decades to get season tickets so you can join the party. I have partied in both places, meaning Australia, I don't think you are tough enough. They like their men to carry their own weight. They dislike them even worse than the cane toads And yes you had the first affair. WOW, really? If women are going to have sex with men behind my back for liking the woman behind the counter at the liquor store, I will keep that in mind. I'm not buying you and everyone else's idea of how I cheated first with your "EA" definition. For years, she knew I was chatting with women behind her back, and gee, I wonder why she picked 2015 as the year to retaliate. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Sorry you are not in court before a judge. You are in a forum in front of your peers. An EA is still wrong. I'm still trying to figure out what a "liable defense" is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoshCube Posted April 7, 2015 Author Share Posted April 7, 2015 An EA is still wrong. Opinions are fun. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 WOW, really? If women are going to have sex with men behind my back for liking the woman behind the counter at the liquor store, I will keep that in mind. I'm not buying you and everyone else's idea of how I cheated first with your "EA" definition. For years, she knew I was chatting with women behind her back, and gee, I wonder why she picked 2015 as the year to retaliate. Dude I think you are confused. NOBODY has said you having an emotional affair justified her in what she did. Yes, two wrongs do not make a right, so if she is going to bang a dude behind your back because she finds out you have feelings for another woman..she indeed does need to go. But at the same time, just don't act like you are 100% innocent here either. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoshCube Posted April 7, 2015 Author Share Posted April 7, 2015 If you are saying the only way you could stop yourself from cheating is to be locked away..well, then doesn't that tell you something? I don't think you quite get what an emotional affair is. An emotional affair is not you having thoughts about having sex with another woman. An emotional affair is you developing any FEELINGS for another woman that are more then platonic. It also sounds like the only reason your affair didn't become physical was due to distance. Either way though, you did cheat too. I do not justify adultery as a means to retaliate against an EA since an EA is psychological, and can naturally happen at any time. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I do not justify adultery as a means to retaliate against an EA since an EA is psychological, and can naturally happen at any time. Like I said, you having an EA did not give her the right to cheat. But on the other hand, nope..an EA can't naturally happen at "any time". People who are in love with their spouse do not suddenly develop feelings for someone else of a more then friendly nature. It just does not happen. When you are in love with someone..well, you are in love with them. You don't find yourself crushing on someone else, no matter what the circumstance is. If you do find yourself crushing on someone else that is when it is time to end the relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I do not justify adultery as a means to retaliate against an EA since an EA is psychological, and can naturally happen at any time. Sounds like normal knowledge to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoshCube Posted April 7, 2015 Author Share Posted April 7, 2015 Dude I think you are confused. NOBODY has said you having an emotional affair justified her in what she did. Yes, two wrongs do not make a right, so if she is going to bang a dude behind your back because she finds out you have feelings for another woman..she indeed does need to go. But at the same time, just don't act like you are 100% innocent here either. An EA is psychological, adultery is physical. Physical requires action, psychological is thought. I find her case worse than mine, because she actually carried out the act. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 An EA is psychological, adultery is physical. Physical requires action, psychological is thought. I find her case worse than mine, because she actually carried out the act. But again, you were not merely thinking to your self "hmm, maybe I could develop feelings for this other woman" you actually just plain..developed feelings for her. Still cheating..just another kind of cheating. Doesn't mean your wife had the right to cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
I_Give_Up67 Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 She went her entire life in school without having friends, and people made fun of her for being in Special Ed. Because she grew up with the whole world hating her, she psychologically developed a rebel mindset. When she committed adultery behind my back, she did it for one reason. Revenge. She saw me as a potential threat when she found out about the Australian girl, so she selected the ultimate payback to deal with the situation. Now because of her selfishness, it has cost her her marriage with me. She has insecurity issues about her men being around other women. I'm actually not in shock that she slept with her step-father, because we are both big fans of the incest fetish. We would role play as father/daughter and brother/sister all the time, because I had trouble getting an orgasm with her in bed. Our entire 7 years we've been together, it was extremely hard for me to orgasm, and I had to think of so many fetishes in order to reach climax. According to a psychology document I read, it said that if the couple is both having orgasmic issues, then it means the couple is having issues in the relationship. It was likely that our relationship was built all on lust, and not emotion. If my wife had at least talked to me about wanting to sleep with a family member, I would have been OK with it. Hell, I would have set up a camera and jacked off to her banging her step-father, and wouldn't have had an ounce of jealousy. What made me jealous and file the D was when she did this behind my back, and didn't tell me. This is just a knife in my back. By her doing this, it just means she didn't love me in the long run. I have zero tolerance for cheating, so now, she will suffer the consequences. On a side note, incest is best, take your family to the test. Josh- You have just made my day! Let me present you with another take on this. You sound somewhat jealous for missing out on the action. Have you considered staying with her and just having an open M? If you overlook the going behind each others backs aspect, the two of you sounds like a match made in heaven.... or somewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoshCube Posted April 7, 2015 Author Share Posted April 7, 2015 Like I said, you having an EA did not give her the right to cheat. But on the other hand, nope..an EA can't naturally happen at "any time". People who are in love with their spouse do not suddenly develop feelings for someone else of a more then friendly nature. It just does not happen. When you are in love with someone..well, you are in love with them. You don't find yourself crushing on someone else, no matter what the circumstance is. If you do find yourself crushing on someone else that is when it is time to end the relationship. The reason why I fell in love with the girl in Australia is because I'm not happy with my current spouse. Let's see here.....she badmouths me in front of her family; she's embarrassed to kiss and hug me in public; she lies all the time; she uses me as a sex object; she doesn't respect my mother; and then she allowed her father to curse at me on the phone. You think a man is going to put up with behavior like this? You know what? I don't blame myself for getting into an EA, because that EA pulled me out of a bad marriage. Through meditation, the creator told me that this was meant to happen, and it was inevitable. He used another woman to yank me from an abusive woman that was using me. Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie1231 Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I do not justify adultery as a means to retaliate against an EA since an EA is psychological, and can naturally happen at any time. You went online looking for a woman who looked like Princess Zelda. That is about as far from natural as it comes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoshCube Posted April 7, 2015 Author Share Posted April 7, 2015 But again, you were not merely thinking to your self "hmm, maybe I could develop feelings for this other woman" you actually just plain..developed feelings for her. Still cheating..just another kind of cheating. Doesn't mean your wife had the right to cheat. Its because I'm not happy with her....... Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoshCube Posted April 7, 2015 Author Share Posted April 7, 2015 Josh- You have just made my day! Let me present you with another take on this. You sound somewhat jealous for missing out on the action. Have you considered staying with her and just having an open M? If you overlook the going behind each others backs aspect, the two of you sounds like a match made in heaven.... or somewhere. LOL, I'm glad to make you laugh. Not only did she cheat on me, she made me miss out on watching the hottest thing ever. Knife to the heart? More like a chainsaw. :laugh: But in all seriousness, she didn't even get tested when she came back to have sex with me. When you sleep around, and then sleep with your spouse, that's actually putting their life in danger. AIDS and herpes isn't something to play around with. Link to post Share on other sites
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