Saving my relationship

[moonflower]

Dear All,

 

Me and my boyfriend are 20 and have been together for 2 years. Last August, he broke up with me saying that he wanted to date other people while he is still in his college years and was bored of us. I was left blindsided as I wasn't expecting this from him, as he once was a person who made me trust in him about how he loved and cared for me. I have been through a huge heartbreak and pain. After four months, he texted me saying that he wanted me back and missed the times when we were together. I decided to give us another chance since I still had feelings for him and I could not let go our two years together. So we decided to take things slowly and now it's been four months after this.

 

I love him but I don't feel like our relationship is the same. He is often distant, we don't get close anymore, became more like just friends. He stays away from me, and it is hot and cold between us. Having lost him once, I am always afraid that he might leave me again, so our hot and cold swings scare me. But I am getting tired of this emotionally. I want to save our relationship, we both know that we are not like how we used to be: I used to feel excited when I looked into his eyes, never wanted to be away from him, take any chance to see him and we used to be more affectionate. Love fades..

 

Now seeing us like that just breaks my heart. I began thinking that we are together because he is afraid of giving up a habit.

 

I appreciate your advice about how I can improve my relationship. Thank you all

[Twigyy]

I think that feeling happy in a relationship is because of the achievements. You will feel happy if you and your partner did something new or something different, and it looks like you two went back to do what you guys did last time. If I were to have a relationship with my ex I would do everything differently, and spice things up a little bit.

 

Do something new, hangout at a new place, watch a different genre movie, or anything. Of course once in a while I would do something nostalgic . Basically treat your relationship like the last one, or like you met him for the first time, etc.

 

Just my two cents. Good luck my friend.

[darkbloom]

It sounds like you already know the answer to this one. If he's blowing hot and cold, someone else is blowing him hot and cold. I think you probably wanted the comfort of the relationship back but you are walking on eggshells waiting for the next time he breaks up with you. You don't sound very excited to be back together. I would suggest you break up and find someone who is not hot and cold with you. Trust me, waiting for the other shoe to drop with him is going to suck all of your emotional well being.