HeartinPain Posted March 15, 2015 Share Posted March 15, 2015 I'm in grad school (32F) and a classmate (26M) started showing interest and pursing me aggressively. We ended up hooking up a few times and he had told me that he wasn't looking for anything serious. I felt at the time I wasn't looking for anything serious either because of our age difference and he had just come out of a long term relationship 3 months prior. We secretly did the FWB thing for about 3 months until I admitted to him that I was falling for him. He likes to be very involved in school government. He told me that he wanted to focus on everything he has taken on at school and be single for awhile because he knows how he is in relationships and wasn't ready for it. He also said that we needed to stop the benefits part because its just going to hurt more later. I noticed that he did have a dating app on his phone despite saying he wasn't ready to date anyone. I asked him point blank if it was that he just didn't want to date ME. He said it wasn't the case and that he loves spending time with me and he doesn't know what may happen with us down the line. He also mentioned our age difference and how we are at different stages in our lives. I've distanced myself a lot to protect myself and to try to get over him. It is hard and a bit awkward because we do go to school together. I noticed that he would always would be the first to initiate texts or message chat me in class. If we haven't communicated in some form in 24 hours like over a weekend, he would randomly snapchat me. For guys, is age really a factor especially if the woman is older? He obviously doesn't want to date me or have classmates talk about us anymore, but why does he continue to fish for attention from me? Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted March 15, 2015 Share Posted March 15, 2015 I don't think he is interested in anything other than casual hook-ups and as soon as you indicated you'd like more he opted out. If you want the occasional chat and text from this guy, then carry on as you are. If you would find that inadequate, then maybe you need to reduce contact as much as possible. Perhaps you could tell him you need space to make a new start with someone who is interested in more, then leave it at that. Let him miss you. It might not make a difference but at least you are not jumping at every meagre text he decides to send. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HeartinPain Posted March 22, 2015 Author Share Posted March 22, 2015 He said that he isn't looking for anything serious and we have only hooked up on his terms. I guess I was in denial and felt I could move our FWB into something more. Just hurts to realize this now. It makes me feel like I wasn't good enough for him to have a relationship with me. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 He's a 26 year old college student. He's got apps on his phone so he can get laid as often as possible. He doesn't want one woman. He wants many women who just want to have sex. He doesn't care what age because he's not wanting a relationship, just sex and a good time. Link to post Share on other sites
kimba Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 I think he is just after sex and I think he would see you as wanting to settle down, being 32. You are the older woman to him. His level of maturity would be significantly lower than yours. I would just move on and forget him. Link to post Share on other sites
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