Author BlackbirdSong Posted April 9, 2015 Author Share Posted April 9, 2015 Blackbird, What are you going to do? I've been dying all morning to find out. You must keep us updated! AH! I'm soooo torn. I'm waiting for her to text/call me. I'm expecting her to have a change of heart and cancel. If not, I'll make the last second decision. I'm leaning towards not going and waiting to see if she makes a move. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
frigginlost Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 (edited) Buddy, I was in your exact position 8 weeks ago. My ex said the exact same things yours has. Almost to the letter. I went. And it was the biggest mistake of my life. The only thing I can offer, is that her wording to you has red flags written all over it. I tried to look at what I was hearing from my ex as an insecurity on her part that I would reject her. It turns out, that the icy feeling that I had in my stomach before meeting her was true. It was a guilt relief meeting on her part. If I could do it all over again, I would not have even thought about meeting up with her until I heard "I made a mistake, can we talk". Anything else, is fluff. If you do go, I wish you well and the best outcome possible. Just be prepared for a song and dance... Edited April 9, 2015 by frigginlost 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hunk Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 Yeah alright i'm definitely gonna say don't go. That's my input lol. Really can't see anything good coming from it. Your best result will come from NC, both through healing and her showing her true intentions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ravfour4 Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 Man blackbird, I feel for you. I too went through so many of these thoughts and emotions. Was this your first love? My first break-up drove me absolutely insane for 4-5 months, I was consumed by it. Later, I met a much much better woman, she was an upgrade in absolutely every single way. After 4 years and me planning on her being my wife, she left me, to be with a co-worker who was going through a divorce. I'm not so lost in the emotions and have yet to do NC (we lived together up until a week ago, which was torture seeing her text another guy and share a dog) and I'll be seeing her for the first time in a week this Saturday. I hope your meet up went well if it happened, as others have said, she's probably not worth your time and effort.....but people are saying the same to me and it's just hard to believe. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlackbirdSong Posted April 10, 2015 Author Share Posted April 10, 2015 Well yesterday was interesting.... She finally called me at 6 pm and I was anticipating the worst so I didn't pick up. I had MMA training so I didn't want a bad conversation to kill my energy levels. When I got out around 8, I called her back and we ended up playing phone tag for a bit. But I digress. .. When we finally spoke, she asked what we're doing tomorrow night. I asked her if we were still on and she asked why wouldn't we be... I'm not going to bore you with the details (I'll provide those maybe later), but we spoke over an hour about a lot of things and she said that she wants us to try again. She said that she's excited to see me tonight, that she told her coworkers that she can't wait to see me, and she went out and bought an outfit just for the occasion. My guard is way up, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that I'm psyched. We shall see. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
hunk Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 That's it bra. Go for it. Them the magic words. I would say the usual keep your guard up etc etc but I think you've got all that sorted. Remember what broke you guys up and don't do it again. Super happy for you man, make it last this time. Let us know how the dinner goes. Make this happen on your terms, and really get her to lay it all out that she wants you back and WHY she wants you back and WHAT she's going to do to make this time better. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
frigginlost Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 Well yesterday was interesting.... She finally called me at 6 pm and I was anticipating the worst so I didn't pick up. I had MMA training so I didn't want a bad conversation to kill my energy levels. When I got out around 8, I called her back and we ended up playing phone tag for a bit. But I digress. .. When we finally spoke, she asked what we're doing tomorrow night. I asked her if we were still on and she asked why wouldn't we be... I'm not going to bore you with the details (I'll provide those maybe later), but we spoke over an hour about a lot of things and she said that she wants us to try again. She said that she's excited to see me tonight, that she told her coworkers that she can't wait to see me, and she went out and bought an outfit just for the occasion. My guard is way up, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that I'm psyched. We shall see. Right on! Those are the magic words... Pulling for ya. Take Hunks advice! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Throldur Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 Well yesterday was interesting.... She finally called me at 6 pm and I was anticipating the worst so I didn't pick up. I had MMA training so I didn't want a bad conversation to kill my energy levels. When I got out around 8, I called her back and we ended up playing phone tag for a bit. But I digress. .. When we finally spoke, she asked what we're doing tomorrow night. I asked her if we were still on and she asked why wouldn't we be... I'm not going to bore you with the details (I'll provide those maybe later), but we spoke over an hour about a lot of things and she said that she wants us to try again. She said that she's excited to see me tonight, that she told her coworkers that she can't wait to see me, and she went out and bought an outfit just for the occasion. My guard is way up, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that I'm psyched. We shall see. **** yes! Hope! I'm rooting for you like you are myself. I want nothing more than to hear your success in this manner. I'll be sending positive vibes your way. Hopefully you'll have a happy ending here and I can come here some day in the future with the same news. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Riptide91 Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 Well yesterday was interesting.... She finally called me at 6 pm and I was anticipating the worst so I didn't pick up. I had MMA training so I didn't want a bad conversation to kill my energy levels. When I got out around 8, I called her back and we ended up playing phone tag for a bit. But I digress. .. When we finally spoke, she asked what we're doing tomorrow night. I asked her if we were still on and she asked why wouldn't we be... I'm not going to bore you with the details (I'll provide those maybe later), but we spoke over an hour about a lot of things and she said that she wants us to try again. She said that she's excited to see me tonight, that she told her coworkers that she can't wait to see me, and she went out and bought an outfit just for the occasion. My guard is way up, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that I'm psyched. We shall see. Super stoked for you Blackbird. I hope all goes well! Link to post Share on other sites
ravfour4 Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 Super happy for you!! Also very jealous, my gf left me after a short burst of hard times and I like you have turned those around. That being said, my girl instantly got involved with an older man going through a divorce, while I hope my meet up with her goes like yours did today, I'm super skeptical. Nonetheless, I'm stoked for you, I hope it's even better than you imagined and that you two work out. Just remember how she was petty and left you while things were down, keep an eye out for warning signs to avoid being hurt again Link to post Share on other sites
dvx Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 Well yesterday was interesting.... She finally called me at 6 pm and I was anticipating the worst so I didn't pick up. I had MMA training so I didn't want a bad conversation to kill my energy levels. When I got out around 8, I called her back and we ended up playing phone tag for a bit. But I digress. .. When we finally spoke, she asked what we're doing tomorrow night. I asked her if we were still on and she asked why wouldn't we be... I'm not going to bore you with the details (I'll provide those maybe later), but we spoke over an hour about a lot of things and she said that she wants us to try again. She said that she's excited to see me tonight, that she told her coworkers that she can't wait to see me, and she went out and bought an outfit just for the occasion. My guard is way up, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that I'm psyched. We shall see. Finally a positive story in these forums. I won't lie but success stories always get my hopes up even more. Not sure if its a good or bad thing though. Good luck man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 This makes me happy! Yay!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 It couldn't have happened to a better dude. I'm happy for you Blackbird, and hope that things go well! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 You better not forget about us on the way up! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 Blackbirdsong I'm super happy for you man, I hope everything goes well on this date. I would be lying if I didn't say that I'm very envious right now. However, it's good to hear feel good stories like this one I got my fingers crossed for you bro. Wish you luck. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlackbirdSong Posted April 11, 2015 Author Share Posted April 11, 2015 Went to dinner last night....it went awesome. Made the reservation, met her at the restaurant, looked good, felt good, exuded confidence and she ate it up. It was a bit awkward in the beginning as we hadn't seen each other in over two months, but the attraction was instant. I let her talk and I just listened. She even broke down a couple of times when telling me how much she missed me and how difficult the break up was for her. She asked me why the hell I looked so happy and it made her pissed. Lol. For the first time during this whole process I really felt like I was in a position (at that moment) where if things went south, I would be okay. We were able to clear the air about a lot of things. She loved to hear of all the progress I've made and she was really impressed. She told me that she loved me, and has always wanted a future for us, but because I was working towards a stable career, it scared her. She said she's been working on trying to be more patient as she knows that I'm the one she wants forever (yeah, we'll see) and in time I will be where I need to be. We agreed that we're going to take things really slow, but we're going to be exclusive again (not talking or seeing anybody else). My guard is still way up and will be that way for quite awhile (as I'm sure hers is too). As we closed the night, she said she doesn't want to see me until next weekend. I said, okay that's cool. I wake up this morning and she texts me about having a good morning and she hopes I have a fantastic day. I ignore it. An hour later, she calls and says she wants to come over to my place and hang out.....hahaha, what happened to not wanting to see me until next weekend? I'm optimistic, but extremely cautious. You all are the best and I won't be going anywhere. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
ravfour4 Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 Congrats blackbird! I met with my ex today and instead of her wanting me back, it actually made me more sure that I don't want her back, she was somewhat wasted and rude and just didn't seem to be doing well. A good day for both of us 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hunk Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 I would pay money to even hear my ex say the breakup was difficult for her, let alone her tell me she wants to get back together :lmao: Well done dude, such good news to hear. Definitely stay around and keep the advice coming, your experience will be useful to alot of people no doubt. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Throldur Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Went to dinner last night....it went awesome. Made the reservation, met her at the restaurant, looked good, felt good, exuded confidence and she ate it up. It was a bit awkward in the beginning as we hadn't seen each other in over two months, but the attraction was instant. I let her talk and I just listened. She even broke down a couple of times when telling me how much she missed me and how difficult the break up was for her. She asked me why the hell I looked so happy and it made her pissed. Lol. For the first time during this whole process I really felt like I was in a position (at that moment) where if things went south, I would be okay. We were able to clear the air about a lot of things. She loved to hear of all the progress I've made and she was really impressed. She told me that she loved me, and has always wanted a future for us, but because I was working towards a stable career, it scared her. She said she's been working on trying to be more patient as she knows that I'm the one she wants forever (yeah, we'll see) and in time I will be where I need to be. We agreed that we're going to take things really slow, but we're going to be exclusive again (not talking or seeing anybody else). My guard is still way up and will be that way for quite awhile (as I'm sure hers is too). As we closed the night, she said she doesn't want to see me until next weekend. I said, okay that's cool. I wake up this morning and she texts me about having a good morning and she hopes I have a fantastic day. I ignore it. An hour later, she calls and says she wants to come over to my place and hang out.....hahaha, what happened to not wanting to see me until next weekend? I'm optimistic, but extremely cautious. You all are the best and I won't be going anywhere. Awesome, man. Just incredibly awesome. Some happiness in this year. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Like you, I'm (extremely) cautiously optimistic. She seems desperate to keep your attention. Make sure you do a lot of talking before you accept her back into your life. Link to post Share on other sites
ravfour4 Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 How's this going? I'm curious Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 Blackbird, You said you wouldn't forget about us! Don't leave us hanging. It's been a strange week on LS with all of these dumpers breaking NC left and right. I'm holding out hope that it will happen to me. Ahhhh 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Throldur Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 No news is good news. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlackbirdSong Posted April 27, 2015 Author Share Posted April 27, 2015 I'm still here friends! Things are going fantastic so far. We're back full-steam but so much better. Our communication is better and everything seems back to normal. Of course my guard is still up and will be, but it's starting to come down. I hope things are getting better for you all. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hunk Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 Awesome news dude. Good to hear from you, keep it going strong:cool: Link to post Share on other sites
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