TilaNikita Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 I'm sorry this is so long and if this sounds so immature. A couple of years ago I met a guy went on a date (where we had quite a bit of chemistry), but I ended up sleeping with him on the first date and we became FWBs. All throughout that time, we would meet up for sex like once a week and he would text me all the time (not anything flirty, dirty or deep) but just everyday conversation. Also, we'd have dinner or catch a movie together and he was always respectful. At the time, I thought nothing about our situation because I always thought we were just FWBs (though we never spoke about what our agreement was) because whenever we were together seemed really withdrawn around me (he wasn't like that on the first date before I slept with him, he was really open back then). Eventually, he stopped texting and after 2 weeks he sent me a text asking if we could do something other than have sex and I replied that it was cool with me then he didn't reply back. I just figured that he found another FWB who he was more physically attracted to or that he wanted to find a real relationship with a woman who was right for him. A few months after not speaking to each other, he sent me a message on FB asking me how I was then sent me a friend request. At the time, I had a boyfriend so I just totally ignored all of those messages and declined his friend request. Nearly two years have passed now and I recently sent him a message on FB asking him how he was. He replied quickly and asked for my number but I told him I wasn't comfortable with that because I was still with my boyfriend. We ended up messaging daily just catching up then he replied, "Maybe you should take me out to coffee one day ;)" which I ignored. Eventually (and all of a sudden) he asked how long me and my boyfriend have been together and I told him. He figured out that I had met my boyfriend a few months after he and I stopped seeing each other and he sent a blushing emoticon with that message. I then asked him about his marital situation (just to catch up) and he said he's single then I replied. He's read the message but now he hasn't replied after a few days when before he was replying back to me within a hour. I'm a bit confused. While we were FWBs, I didn't think he liked me enough to date but I've just realised that the things he did whilst we were seeing each other don't seem very FWBs and he was kind of flirting with me a bit when we were recently messaging each other. Was he kind of interested? Link to post Share on other sites
PaperCrane Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Yes. However he may not have known it very well and withdrew due to confusion. It sounded relationship-y by your description but suffered from 'lack-of-communication-itis' which tends to kill those types of situations. Whichever way the winds blew then, it sent your ships apart. Best not to worry about that now. Link to post Share on other sites
devilish innocent Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 The labels don't matter. Your past relationship with him is what it was. If he'd wanted something more serious than whatever you had, he'd have let you know back then. He probably asked you out to coffee because he wanted to try his luck at getting you to sleep with him again. "Sort of flirting" doesn't mean anything. There's bound to be some awkward tension given that you guys slept with each other before. Besides none of this matters since you have a boyfriend. It's probably for the best that he stopped responding. If you find yourself enjoying his flirtations, it could only lead to trouble. Link to post Share on other sites
Standard-Fare Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 I'm curious why you took the step to rekindle contact with him. It sounds like everything could have easily remained in the past. But you made the decision to get back in touch with him after two years, while you're in a relationship. And you're analyzing all this stuff from the past. Did you have more feelings for this guy than you're letting on here? Do those feelings linger around today? Is it something you want to pursue? If not, I don't understand why you'd even bother touching this. Link to post Share on other sites
dancehead Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Well it was his fault he did not step up when you asked him if you could do things other than have sex. You moved on, but why the questions now? Are you not happy with the bf? Link to post Share on other sites
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