How screwed up is this?!?!

[b52srock]

My divorce should be final in the next 3-4 weeks...as a lot of you know, we've been separated over a year and I finally filed for D in November.

 

Things have been up and down for me emotionally, but I guess now that the end, so to speak, is so close I'm kind of losing it again.

 

I hadn't told my mother any of the things that had been going on. Didn't tell her about his ongoing affair until she nailed me on it in February. She had been hearing rumors in her town almost 300 miles away! So, had to confess that it had been going on. So...from that point until this she's been behind me 100%, almost to the point of smothering me. She's alone and has nothing else to think about, so she calls 3-4 times a day, that's all she wants to talk about, and at times it has driven me completely up the wall! However, I know she's my mother and she loves me and I really did appreciate the support.

 

Until this morning. She calls and starts this whole conversation on how he turned to his wh*re because of lack of sex at home! Holy crap!! My mother!!

 

I explained to her that until I had my hysterectomy everything was just peachy in that department. STBex didn't understand the emotional ramifications of the hysterectomy from his side or from mine. Pile on top of that that I started working full time and still took care of everything else from laundry and meals to paying bills and cleaning house. Not a finger was lifted to help. No one could put a dish in the dishwasher, sweep a floor, do a load of laundry, nothing. So...tired? Damn straight I was.

 

But I'm still supposed to just roll over and have sex whenever he wants. I'm supposed to enjoy being grabbed and having his penis pushed up against me wherever I am, whether its while I'm trying to clean the toilet or trying to put on my make-up in the morning to get ready for my full time job. Foreplay? What's that? I'm just supposed to be ready whenever and wherever.

 

According to my mother, that's the reason he left.

 

*@^*&$^&@#%&^!!!! So now we're all back to it being my fault. Don't get me wrong, I like sex...loved it as a matter of fact...but when you're doing everything for everyone around you, keeping a home, and working full time, too, it gets to be a little much. Especially when none of them give a thought to you...to maybe taking you out to dinner once in a while, or getting away for a romantic weekend.

 

Nope. Just supposed to give and give and give. Then they don't leave.

 

Bite me.

[curiousnycgirl]

It is totally messed up and ditto your last line!

[b52srock]

Now to top things off, my mother is pissed because I have no say in what the visitation will be...the judge will decide, and in my state, its pretty cut and dried..every other weekend, opposing holidays. Not that big of a deal, but my mother somehow thinks I should fight it, even though my attorney says it won't do a bit of good.

 

AAAAARGH!!

 

Add to that doing taxes tonight (yeah, he didn't bother to drop off his W-2 until last night...only had it since frickin' Jan. 20th) and figure this out...

 

2 kids = $25,000

STBex & wh*re = $50,123 + $10,000 (credit card)

 

$72,623 he made this year...and his kids get less than 1/3 of it, plus he totals up ten grand on his credit card!

 

What an a**hole!!!

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

I'm still trying to see how this is any of your mother's business.

[Ladyjane14]

Mom's probably at a loss as to how to act. Clearly, by your last post...she's incensed about the treatment you've received. By your first post in looks like she's trying to do a post-mortem and figure out what went wrong.

 

Try not to let it upset you. She's your mom....and somebody has mistreated her baby. Of course, she's going to be reactive.

 

My mother always manages to put her foot in her mouth as well. There comes a point at which....you just expect it.