Donate Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Here is a situation. Married guy works with and gets hit on by females at work but has no desire to cheat. Same guys wife has no desire to have sex or any intimate contact with him at home. If he complains about it to his wife, she gets mad because he has a problem with it. Comments/Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
badpenny Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Guy tells wife: I get hit on plenty at work, so here's the deal - 3 options: We get counselling and therapy because, just because YOU don't want sex, doesn't mean I HAVE to go without. You are forcing me and obliging me to suppress my natural, normal sexual desire for you, which is unfair and unreasonable. I am no more unusual and perverted for wanting sex, than you are frigid and emotionless for NOT wanting it. I Don't have a problem with it. WE have a problem with it. It needs addressing. That, OR: You permit me to gain sexual gratification and satisfaction elsewhere with someone else, but we remain married, I never tell you about it, I keep it to myself and we carry on as we are, OR - We divorce. Those are your 3 and only options. Pick one. Let me know by the weekend. Thanks. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Here is a situation. Married guy works with and gets hit on by females at work but has no desire to cheat. Same guys wife has no desire to have sex or any intimate contact with him at home. If he complains about it to his wife, she gets mad because he has a problem with it. Comments/Thoughts? Time for an ultimatum. I schedule an appointment with a marriage/sex therapist with a commitment by both of us to resolve our differences or I schedule an appointment with a family law attorney. It's her choice. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 "OK. Here's the situation. My parents went a way for a week's vacation. And they uh... they left the keys to the brand new Porsche. You think they'd mind? Nah, of course not!" Sorry, couldn't resist. You say husband "complains." Does that mean husband has already tried sensitively communicating his frustrations with said wife? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Married guy works with and gets hit on by females at work but has no desire to cheat. Same guys wife has no desire to have sex or any intimate contact with him at home. What do these two things have to do with each other ??? Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
minimariah Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Comments/Thoughts? well... try suggesting MC & letting the W know how serious the problem is? talking to the W about the lack of sex, why doesn't she want it, maybe there is some kind of health problem? starting the convo without the accusatory tone, maybe take her out on a date, start courting her again... surprising her with small gifts, small kisses, date and movie nights...? just small steps, shower her with the attention and see where it leads...? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 What do these two things have to do with each other ??? Mr. Lucky I think he's waiting for someone to tell him to go grab the sex where it's being offered. Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 I think he's waiting for someone to tell him to go grab the sex where it's being offered.Yeah, this is what's known as "self-talk." I should have sex with this other person because I'm not happy in my current relationship. _______ never wants to ______. And I'm always having to ________. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Here is a situation. Married guy works with and gets hit on by females at work but has no desire to cheat. Same guys wife has no desire to have sex or any intimate contact with him at home. If he complains about it to his wife, she gets mad because he has a problem with it. Comments/Thoughts? Even though married guy (MG) has no desire to cheat, it looks like MG might be wanting someone to tell him to go ahead, seeing as how MG brought it up in the first place. MG's wife needs a figurative kick in the ass, but he needs to maintain his integrity. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Donate Posted March 16, 2015 Author Share Posted March 16, 2015 Actually MG is about to leave. Don't think he is looking at cheating as an option. Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Actually MG is about to leave. Don't think he is looking at cheating as an option. That was my guess. I'm also making an assumption that all of the normal approaches to reignite the wife have failed. That said, there are a lot of things to try. Personally, I took a lot of advice and did everything I could think of, to no avail. I think once those things are done, and it is a dealbreaker to the point where the denied spouse is seriously considering cheating, then it's time for the ultimatum. We legitimately fix this or I'm out. I've been thru this before and will never do it again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Donate Posted March 17, 2015 Author Share Posted March 17, 2015 I think any fix will be short lived. Might as well leave and save time and effort. Link to post Share on other sites
BlackHat Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 1. You DO NOT hit anything at work unless you want to join the ranks of the employed for a very long time, getting yourself into prison for sexual harassment in the process when your little thing decides she wants to have real fun. 2. If you can, DIVORCE YOUR WIFE NOW. Bring the subject and be amicable. 3. If you cannot, just cheat. The good news is that you will have all the sex you ever wanted, and when you get caught she will "leave you" so all the work is going to be done for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Donate Posted March 17, 2015 Author Share Posted March 17, 2015 3. If you cannot, just cheat. The good news is that you will have all the sex you ever wanted, and when you get caught she will "leave you" so all the work is going to be done for you. I like this option. Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I think any fix will be short lived. Might as well leave and save time and effort. I should have saved myself time and effort by reading your previous threads. You don't seem interested in a real fix to your marriage at all. I'm curious, are you actually resentful of your wife or just looking to justify your actions after the fact? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I like this option. Isn't this what you already said on Dec 23rd in the thread you started called, "The fine art of breaking up" where you said to find something that would push the other person over the edge so that they break up with you and do all the work? Why haven't you already done that after 4 months if you think that is such a great plan? Are you also Blackhat and have multiple logins and reply to your own posts? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I should have saved myself time and effort by reading your previous threads. You don't seem interested in a real fix to your marriage at all. I'm curious, are you actually resentful of your wife or just looking to justify your actions after the fact? I agree, many of these threads sound so innocent and straight-forward when you read the title and first post. Donate: At this point, what do you want out of marriage and life and what are you willing to do? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author Donate Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 (edited) You people are sick Who said I was talking about myself....you assume too much. Idiots. I'm sure the moderators are going to ban me for talking back to the local lunatics. Fine! Edited March 18, 2015 by Donate Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 You people are sick Who said I was talking about myself....you assume too much. Idiots. I'm sure the moderators are going to ban me for talking back to the local lunatics. Fine! What, like this one? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/other-man-woman/498634-i-m-cheater Link to post Share on other sites
Author Donate Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 So what I'm a cheater he is not, two different posts, people and situations. Stay on topic and stop making personal attacks. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Here is a situation. Married guy works with and gets hit on by females at work but has no desire to cheat. Same guys wife has no desire to have sex or any intimate contact with him at home. If he complains about it to his wife, she gets mad because he has a problem with it. Comments/Thoughts? So what I'm a cheater he is not, two different posts, people and situations. Stay on topic and stop making personal attacks. First there is no situation. This man does not want to cheat. He does not use problems with his wife as a false justification to cheat. So there is nothing to post about. However it has everything to do with you because you are a cheater. It appears that you are trying to get responses that this man would be justified to cheat and should therefor cheat. It appears that your logic is to get people to validate permission for this man to cheat on his wife. Thus validating cheating. Which then validates you being a cheater. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Donate Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 First there is no situation. This man does not want to cheat. He does not use problems with his wife as a false justification to cheat. So there is nothing to post about However it has everything to do with you because you are a cheater. It appears that you are trying to get responses that this man would be justified to cheat and should therefor cheat. It appears that your logic is to get people to validate permission for this man to cheat on his wife. Thus validating cheating. Which then validates you being a cheater. LOL @ U for trying to sound smart....:lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
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