Randoms adding me to bully me

[Toodaloo]

But I don't look like the back end of a bus. I have quiet nice features and a nose that is " unpleasant" from the profile.

 

That is why I don't get the bullying. I am quite an attractive girl by my standards - like... I have nice full lips, straight teeth, big blue eyes. I don't get why more than one person has called me "ugly" as an adult.

 

Because the world is full of pillocks. You react they find that reaction fun.

 

Change the people around you and you will change the comments about you.

 

You just have to walk away from them and be done with it.

[Leigh 87]

Because the world is full of pillocks. You react they find that reaction fun.

 

Change the people around you and you will change the comments about you.

 

You just have to walk away from them and be done with it.

 

 

 

It's just sort of sad that some people feel the need to make fun of others for being " ugly"

 

It's just a really baffling concept. For adults for do this.

 

Plus is made me wonder..hmm pretty people don't get people calling them ugly because they are just.. Not.

[Michelle ma Belle]

What is wrong with this world where people think they have the right to tear a person down for sh*ts and gigglesl?!?!?

 

Leigh, I'm sorry you had to experience what you did growing up and even now. I know it's hard NOT to let this kind of stuff bother you or affect you but it really has NOTHING to do with you and EVERYTHING to do with the bullies.

 

Clearly they're threatened by you in some way. How exactly? I'm not sure since I don't know you or them but no one puts in that amount of time and energy if they're not afraid of something especially as an adult.

 

I'm not sure why you're adding these idiots to whatever social media channel you're on. They are your past not your present and especially not your future. You're only torturing yourself by giving them the keys to your castle and you need to take some responsibility for that now.

 

I've talked about how I've gone to therapy for years and one of the very first things I learned in therapy was that sometimes we need to distance and in some cases, even cut off the people and relationships in our lives that are toxic and dragging us down if we have a chance of moving forward.

 

This seems to be no different. Delete and/or block these "friends" from wherever they hover and focus on spending your time and energy around people who have your best interest at heart.

 

F*cking idiots! This is when I seriously hope Karma exists because these are the kind of people I hope will get their a** handed to them for the pain they've inflicted on innocent people.

 

Stay strong

[AprilTears]

Go see a Dr. and get a nose job. Most will be able to work it out where insurance pays (assuming you have it - not sure where you live). Otherwise, ask for a payment plan. Most all plastic surgeons offer them!

 

And do it for you and no one else. Stop accepting those idiots. Who cares if they might want to apologize? It is it worth it to be bullied just to see if someone wants to apologize to you to relieve their guilt? I would think not!

[whichwayisup]

Why would add people from your past who brought you heart and pain? Unless you were friendly and on good terms with that person, adding them is okay.

 

That's awful and I find it sickening and cruel that after years of being out of school, people are saying such horrible things to you. Talk about not growing up and staying the mean girl/bully.

 

Don't let ANYBODY make you feel bad about yourself. They are ass.holes!

[whichwayisup]

Oh they most definitely are low lifes.

 

I am worried that.. well, genuinely pretty girls with options and who can afford to hold out for a passionate romance with the honeymoon stage - DO NOT get people calling them ugly.

 

I think a nose job will help me greatly - I think with a nicely shaped, smaller nose, I will be a pretty girl.

 

I know that one day I want to fall crazy in love. For a guy to fall for me I need to be pretty as well as having a great personality.

 

I have wanted a nose job for gosh knows how long!

 

Bolded - Then don't let low lives who are scummy people affect your self esteem.

 

Even if you get a nose job, you need to love yourself first.

 

I hope you seek some counseling to help you let go of past insecurities that won't affect you so deeply now.

[whichwayisup]

Many people from high school add me to apologise for the bullying though.

 

Doesn't mean you accept their friend request. You can inbox message with them. Why should they have access to your fb when they haven't been a real friend to you? Apologizing is great, but if they wanted friendship, they'd pick up the phone and call you, not just add you on fb. Have any of them taken you out to lunch? Got to know who you are today?

[whichwayisup]

This one girl always makes threats. I block her, she gets a new address and adds me and I have no idea

 

 

 

Today she was asking me where I am so she can come kill me.

 

 

She is most deff a sociopath or psychopath.

 

 

And she always has a nasty boyfriend in tow lol who sits there with her and joins in.

 

 

I block them soon after I know it is them.

 

 

I inform them I will get a restraining order if they continue to make threads.

 

 

They would deff get someone to hurt me if they could.

 

 

All for being "ugly" lol.

 

do you know WHO this one girl is? If so, DO go to the cops about this.

 

Do not add ANYBODY from your past, or someone you don't know, don't recognize the name. You have the power to NOT add them, let them send requests, then don't accept it and block them.

[beach]

That person is actually referring to themself when they do that.

 

Still I would alert Facebook about that person and the mean and cruel words they are slinging around.

 

That would be after having some choice words that allow that person to understand their mean ways are no longer tolerated.

 

Stay strong - have a voice and speak your truth.

 

Byron Katie has some awesome videos on YouTube regarding these situations. She's very good. Check it out.

Edited March 18, 2015 by beach

[Leigh 87]

I have wanted a nose job for 15 years.

 

I have managed to be a happy enough person without it. I have enjoyed life.

 

I have spent my thousands I have earned earlier in my prior careers on overseas travel - I wanted to learn to be happy and enjoy life WITHOUT a perfect nose.

 

Looks matter to me. I will simply feel a lot happier if I wake up with a more pleasantly shaped nose every day. TO ME it will change my life and make ME happier, significantly......

 

Yes I could learn to accept it. But I have been happy; I enjoy being alive. I have lived happily a lot of the time with my crooked, beaked nose.

 

I will just be happier with a nicer nose.

[Leigh 87]

I am looking into consultations.

 

The only loans are for Aussie residents who have stable incomes which I don't - I work part time in a related field to my degree.

 

The only way for my to get a nose job is for my mum to take out a loan in Hong Kong - and for ME to pay her back so SHE never has to lose a dime.

 

She has agreed to it.

 

I have wanted this for 20 years I am so excited it could finally happen soon.

 

I have a consultation on the 27th of this month..

 

Then the operation would be 1 to 2 months later......

[beach]

I think I've seen Facebook has a button called "report abuse" - I'd use that if I were you.

[SerCay]

OP,

 

I've had a nose job. Best decision of my life.

 

I was bullied in high school because of my nose, later in life, when I turned into 'a beauty', nobody noticed my nose.

 

When I told my parents I was going to have one, they thought it unnecessary but they understood...because it had been an obstacle for me, since high school.

 

I know they say you should love yourself first and then the nose job, and usually I totally agree with the love yourself theory (see my quotations in my profile), BUT....I can only tell you how it felt getting that nose job to me:

 

It felt like letting go of that 1 dark spot of my past, getting rid of the only 1 thing that was bugging me about myself.

 

I loved myself before the nose job, but I totally felt that a burden had been lifted off my shoulders after it. I was able to let go of the past bullies.

 

I know it sounds weird, but honestly it's the truth for me. And I'm not into plastic surgery at all, or preoccupied with my looks or anything.

 

Get that nose job. You will instantly be the version of yourself that you've always had inside you, AND you will not even bother about the bullies any longer.

[Leigh 87]

SerCay

 

Your post made my night.

 

 

 

Inside I am a total flirty, sex bomb. Who enjoys using her sexuality and sensuality to communicate. That is how I am. I wear old style retro dresses and red lipstick. I am voluptuous and I love exploring my beauty ; only I don't feel beautiful. A nice nose WILL make me into the beautiful woman I have always wanted to me.

[Conners]

I love chubby cheeks on a girl it is so cute and feminine too.

 

I have an angular face with cheekbones that are pronounced and so I have always wondered wanted to have a cute button nose and chubby cheeks rather than my more unusual and strong features.

 

 

 

and LOL - You 'actually' think I am pretty. Meaning, " wow, most people wouldn't think it, but hey I actually do?"

 

 

Just wondering, do you genuinely think it is "odd" or "uncommon" that a person would think I am pretty?

 

Sorry if it came across that way.

 

I mean I wouldn't normally take the time to tell someone on the internet who I don't know that they are pretty when they are complaining about their looks. I guess that's why I said ''actually''.

 

I actually think most would find you attractive.

[Bobbi7]

Like others have said, don't accept any friend requests from these bullies. And don't bother talking to them. I don't understand why you would talk to them in the first place? I was bullied too in middle school/junior high and when I joined facebook, I blocked almost my entire graduating class. I certainly don't want to see their faces. It's really odd that bullies do those requests. I had 2 people that sent me a request and I deleted it and blocked them.

[mammasita]

First of all, make your page private and stop accepting requests from random people.

 

Secondly, you are far from hideous. Don't let a random tramp from your past get you down.

[Leigh 87]

My wall and privacy settings are on high. No one can see where I work who isn't already on my friends list...

 

I only have 100 friends too.

 

I thought this girl was going to add me to apologise but now I'll know better and I'll not accept bullies from the past.

[pteromom]

Oh they most definitely are low lifes.

 

I am worried that.. well, genuinely pretty girls with options and who can afford to hold out for a passionate romance with the honeymoon stage - DO NOT get people calling them ugly.

 

Nope. Everyone has detractors. Look up comments about any beautiful celebrity. In every case, you will find comments about how ugly they are.

 

The thing is - if someone has a need to put others down, it is just showing their own insecurity.

 

In your case, you were bullied as a child, and those from your past see you as an easy target. They can let all their own insecurity and pain out on you, and they feel there will be no consequence for that.

 

They are sad, pathetic losers.

 

And BTW - YOU are beautiful! And you can hold out for a passionate wonderful relationship.

 

I think a nose job will help me greatly - I think with a nicely shaped, smaller nose, I will be a pretty girl.

 

You are pretty now. You are just looking to your nose as a solution, when in reality the solution is in self-acceptance and learning to let go of all the things those other people have said.

 

I know that one day I want to fall crazy in love. For a guy to fall for me I need to be pretty as well as having a great personality.

 

Listen to what you are telling yourself. That you are unlovable as you are. That is simply not true. And a man who would look past you now, but suddenly be interested if you had a small perfect nose is not a man worth having. Look for a man who loves you as you are.

[Diezel]

People don't just 'add' you to Facebook. You have to accept their request.

 

Simple. Stop accepting.

 

This. Is exactly what I wanted to say.

 

Anyone who truly wants to apologize for bullying in high school would really want to try harder than a Facebook message.

[SpiralOut]

Those people are pathetic. Most people are able to mature after high school, but those ones clearly haven't. They are putting you down because they can't stand it that you have improved yourself, while they themselves haven't.

 

 

I used to be bullied for having buck teeth. They are better now, but I still have a gap. I still to this day cover my mouth when I laugh and I still think everyone notices my teeth and think they are ugly. I've pointed it out to a couple of people and they said they didn't even notice. Well, to me it is noticeable. I remember running into two of my childhood bullies years after highschool while I was getting my license photo renewed. They stood there making fun of me behind my back. Can you believe that? What a couple of losers!

 

 

Get a nose job if it will make you feel better.

[Wackkkk]

How do u respond back?

 

Wow can't believe people do that especially at their age.

[totenkopf]

Sometimes people from my past add me on facebook just to say

 

" I see you still look like a horses @ss"

 

or sometimes they say

 

" your face still looks like a dropped meat pie I see!"

 

My ex had friends - their boyfriends would hit on me and when I tried telling them the truth they all ganged up and said " you really are a very ugly woman, no guy would hit on you and I can see why you would hold onto every guy that paid you attention"

 

They sent pictures of dogs and sloths around facebook and pasted my head to them.

 

I grew up ugly. Bad skin, a crooked sort of hooked nose, chubby due to massively over eating in high school in order to deal with bullying....When I was mid 20's I had nice skin, braces to fix my teeth were long off, and I have a naturally slim and curvy figure. All of a sudden I had hot guys and random women tell me regularly that I am gorgeous and pretty. I thought " well, if hot guys say I am really pretty, and they have their pick of women, surely, just maybe, I have grown out of my 'ugly" phase?

 

....Then today, another person from my past added me. Now, many people from my past add me to apologise to me so I accepted.

 

.. Alas, they went on to say " just wanted to let you know that you still lok hideous - you should really get a nose job or you will die alone"

I have panic attacks and shake when people make do this:sick: - I thought I was finally "pretty" and over my ugly stage... yet when this happens, I hyperventilate and get majorly damaging flashbacks to my high school years that were rife with dreadful bullying.

 

I don't know what to think. I thought finally I was a pleasant looking, attractive woman to many although of course, my strong features are deff no everyones cup of tea. I really didn't think that the MAJORITY of people STILL considered my ugly though? Am I really an ugly woman to most, who will have to one day, if I want to marry, settle for a "friendship based" union, without passion, because most people think I am ugly and therefore all I have to offer is my intellect, personality and non superficial attributes?

 

One guy recently fell hard for me and thought I was drop dead gorgeous from moment one - yet I didn't want to settle just cos ONE person fell for me, I would like to think I have the option of waiting out for a guy with whom I feel the same way about!

 

Perhaps I really don't have any options in dating like I once thought I would have?

 

I am confused.

 

I don't know what to think.

 

I have so many people tell me I AM attractive - and yet, so many from my past I grew up with, cementing my "ugly" label. And they still do at times.

 

I want to be realistic. I love falling in love and I want that one day, but maybe I simply don't have the options in dating I thought I did.......I thought I had blossomed into a pretty girl who could afford to hold out for a man with whom I also felt MUTUAL attraction with.

 

Am I realistic in thinking that I am attractive to many people for me to hold out for a mutual attraction based relationship, where I am actually excited about dating the guy?

 

I don't want to settle for the first guy who falls hard for me simply because I am an "ugly" woman and hey, I don't have any options so I better settle!

 

I didn't in fact, I dumped him last October. He had a brain injury I didn't want to deal with and I didn't like his personality. I would have dealt with a brain injury if I had liked the guy enough and was into them and passionate about them.

 

 

 

 

 

I don't know.. what to think.

 

I like the way I look sort of - I hate my nose but aside from that, I don't think ONE bad nose makes an entire persons face ugly?

 

I have massive issues due to my past.

 

Hi Leigh why do you not put a picture of yourself up I would be happy to give you my honest opinion and you must remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder

[WomenWubber]

The people from your past seem so full of hatred for some reason. It seems from your posts that you are a very passionate person.

 

I believe in like attracts like, which I think is why you're attracting toxic people into your life. Don't get me wrong, I don't think passion is necessarily a bad thing. Passionate love is something I want to experience and share with someone, someday. But just like you can love with a passion, you can also hate with a passion.

 

Emotions are what drives us. We have learn to use them correctly to get closer, not farther from where we want to be. I can say with certainty that those people calling you names are feeling miserable and helpless. They are where they are because they have not matured emotionally, so apparently the only thing left for them is to pull the nearest happy person down with them in their misery.

 

You don't have to end up just like them. They are just reacting to you being a happy person in the only way they can. You cannot control their actions and you have no say in what they think of you. So what if they think or say you're ugly? You don't need their validation, because they are very far from what you would deem acceptable in a person worth your time anyways. The only thing you need is a little bit more of self control.

 

Don't allow yourself into hate, don't push yourself down. Love and go up, where those motherf-ers can't reach you.

[Maxtor]

Oh they most definitely are low lifes.

 

I am worried that.. well, genuinely pretty girls with options and who can afford to hold out for a passionate romance with the honeymoon stage - DO NOT get people calling them ugly.

 

I think a nose job will help me greatly - I think with a nicely shaped, smaller nose, I will be a pretty girl.

 

I know that one day I want to fall crazy in love. For a guy to fall for me I need to be pretty as well as having a great personality.

 

I have wanted a nose job for gosh knows how long!

I had a nose job (im a guy), because i had an accident. To be honest, im 100% more handsome than I was, but in spite of having some friends and being more handsome, im still a bit of social awkward.

 

EDIT: so that may not change a little much, but it will change the way people see you. And peraphs you would change the way you perceive yourself.

 

EDIT2: let me rephrase it, haters will always hate, dont mind them, but if thats something you want, do it.

Edited March 25, 2015 by Maxtor