Is POF <online dating site> bad for short guys and minorities?

[SearchingForMyself]

What have been your experiences with plenty of fish?

Edited March 18, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[barcode88]

Honestly, it's all about your confidence and how much work you put into yourself. If you have a good life, and have a fair amount of confidence, you should always be able to do decently well.

 

But yeah... If you have a piss poor attitude, don't workout, have bad breath/teeth, crappy job, no hobbies... Well sorry but no one in real life will date you either!

[Shining One]

I haven't used it much in comparison to Match. I'm a statistically undesirable minority, so that means I need to send out significantly more messages just to get responses. It's just the nature of the situation and I go into any OLD site expecting that. I would say I had a higher response rate on POF than Match, but POF had more scammers while Match had none (at least that I interacted with). I can't speak for short guys though, so one of them will have to comment.

[SearchingForMyself]

Well im a 5 ft 8 minority(mixed) who is 24

 

 

General dating area is both rural(where my family lives) Alabama...and urban area(Huntsville, Alabama)

 

the majority of the dating options from both areas are filled with generally thick to obese caucasian women who are primarily into country guys. As well as the extremely demanding as a whole african american women who have vehemently stated no short guys...those under 6 ft.

 

Honestly...Ive had the most success with Hispanic women. No joke.

[SearchingForMyself]

So guys what's been your experience with plenty of fish?

[kendahke]

No, it's bad period.

[Vintage79]

I tried PoF and hated it - I've much better experiences on OkCupid and a couple of pay sites (Match).

 

That said - I see no reason why PoF would be intrinsically worse for short guys and minorities than other dating websites. It's all about how you project yourself (this include how attractive you are in your pictures, the details in your profile (or lack thereof), etc.).

 

Note, though, that I'm nowhere near the profile you describe - I'm a tall, fit, white guy, who's generally considered pretty attractive, with large income and in my 30s

[Mrin]

It's your geography that is bad for OLD frankly.

[somedude81]

5'5 white guy.

 

I've never received a single reply using POF and OKC.

[123321]

Most online dating is gratification for attention whoring people (usually mostly women, as this seems to appeal to them more than men) who can't get their fix on Facebook any more. Not saying it's bad, it just is what it is.

[Moy]

5ft 8. That's me in my avatar. I've been on POF since March 2013, not one date. I've detailed my negative experiences on there in previous threads of mine. Sometines I was lucky if I received one message a month, and that was usually from a complete wildebeest!

 

Unless you're one of the top 20% of guys (Google the 80/20 rule) avoid POF (and online dating in general) like the plague.

[SearchingForMyself]

5ft 8. That's me in my avatar. I've been on POF since March 2013, not one date. I've detailed my negative experiences on there in previous threads of mine. Sometines I was lucky if I received one message a month, and that was usually from a complete wildebeest!

 

Unless you're one of the top 20% of guys (Google the 80/20 rule) avoid POF (and online dating in general) like the plague.

 

For the record man. I'd kill for a body like yours.

 

I'm rather slim.

 

So hearing that does discourage me

[SearchingForMyself]

It's your geography that is bad for OLD frankly.

 

Yeah rednecks...ghettoes...and lardos with inflated egos don't appeal to me.

[SearchingForMyself]

5'5 white guy.

 

I've never received a single reply using POF and OKC.

 

Some dude..I feel your pain. You're one of the realest guys on here.

 

Heightism is a real societal based accepted prejudice

 

Weirdly enough most Spanish girls I know don't care about my height.

[girl-in-boots]

5'6" mixed race had quite a few dates of POF. Yes I'm a woman and no it doesn't make it different, I get turned down too, sometimes people just aren't into you.

 

As for the miserable cynics on here who are always dragging people/OLD down, I've had messages from that type of person and yes I ignore them because I'm not looking for someone with a destructive negative attitude.

Not sure how they can't see that their negativity comes through loud and clear and not sure why they think that someone is actively seeking that personality.

[ascendotum]

5'6" mixed race had quite a few dates of POF. Yes I'm a woman and no it doesn't make it different, I get turned down too, sometimes people just aren't into you.

 

Sure. Maybe the OP can send you his pic and $20 for you to set up a POF profile for him that will reel in the girls. Maybe throw in a $20 bounty for each girl that agrees to go on a date with him. Should be eazi money eh if he (or you as his proxy) pumps out say just half a dozen msgs each week.

 

A shortish minority girl is a different thing all together. Guys don't have the same hangups over height and race/culture that women do, to begin with let alone the fact that you are female and can sit back and the invitations flow into your inbox each week. Getting turned done on the odd occasion is not the same thing as being turned down as the norm...where guys then have to use the shotgun approach to getting a date by contacting women that simply are 'eh okay' or 'just not too overweight' just to get a result. I'm sure some guys would welcome a 9 out of 10 rejection rate as an improvement. No this is not the story for all guys on OLD, but lots though.

 

Personally I don't think being a minority is that much of a negative on OLD, unless you live in an area with few of the same race/culture and the region is not multi-cutural in nature. Where the OP lives is not doing him any favors I'd suspect.

[SearchingForMyself]

Sure. Maybe the OP can send you his pic and $20 for you to set up a POF profile for him that will reel in the girls. Maybe throw in a $20 bounty for each girl that agrees to go on a date with him. Should be eazi money eh if he (or you as his proxy) pumps out say just half a dozen msgs each week.

 

A shortish minority girl is a different thing all together. Guys don't have the same hangups over height and race/culture that women do, to begin with let alone the fact that you are female and can sit back and the invitations flow into your inbox each week. Getting turned done on the odd occasion is not the same thing as being turned down as the norm...where guys then have to use the shotgun approach to getting a date by contacting women that simply are 'eh okay' or 'just not too overweight' just to get a result. I'm sure some guys would welcome a 9 out of 10 rejection rate as an improvement. No this is not the story for all guys on OLD, but lots though.

 

Personally I don't think being a minority is that much of a negative on OLD, unless you live in an area with few of the same race/culture and the region is not multi-cutural in nature. Where the OP lives is not doing him any favors I'd suspect.

 

Basically...I live in the rural deep south in a super hillbilly area in Alabama...the state itself isn't big on interracial and those who are African american are extremely heightist and expect men to make like 6 figures...also most are overweight.

 

My location has been a huge issue. Girls here just don't like black guys.

[SearchingForMyself]

Also...a short minority woman old is vastly different from a guy in the same position.

[MidwestUSA]

5'5 white guy.

 

I've never received a single reply using POF and OKC.

 

Quite honestly, you're a prime example of someone being passed on simply because of your username. A very simple change might have made a difference.

[Moy]

Online dating experiences are VASTLY different for men and women.

 

This article was written by a woman (a feminist who contributes to Jezebel) and she sums up the experience of the average man perfectly.

 

Why Online Dating Sucks for Men | Alternet

 

"I tell all my single guy friends to watch out for online dating. It is a sad, soul-crushing place where good guys go to die a slow death by way of ignored messages and empty inboxes. You will peruse profiles and find a few women who aren’t posing in a bathroom with their stomachs exposed. You will look for things in common in their profile (they like Scrabble too!). You will send them a note, carefully crafted to show interest and attention to detail. The first seven will not respond. The next one will, but she spells “you” as “u” and you will let the conversation stall. Finally, one of the cool girls writes back, and you will banter a bit, swapping favorite restaurants or concert venues. You will ask her to meet up “in real life.” At the bar, you will chat nervously for an hour (she is not as pretty or as funny as you had hoped she’d be), and then you will be saddled with the $27 check even though she ate most of the sweet potato fries. She will offer to split, but you think she doesn’t mean it and you don’t want to be a jerk. You will march home to an empty inbox and the desire to spend another hour browsing and writing will start to fade."

 

 

Take into account this thread below. A man superimposes his face onto a woman's body, creates a fake female profile on POF and STILL get deluged with messages!

 

***The Ultimate POF Troll Thread*** CamelJockey + L.A. Misc edition!!! - Bodybuilding.com Forums

 

 

I've just created a new profile on POF, using my avatar pic from here as my main photo. I'm keeping it lighthearted, so here is my profile description:

 

"Well apparently I'm supposed to talk about me, my hobbies, interests etc. but everybody writes the same so let's start off by being frank. I'm confident and spontaneous, but also a good guy. When I say good guy I mean genuine and honest, not Mr Meek who apologises for breathing too loudly. I make sure my friends and family are happy and that elderly neighbours have enough Werther's Originals! Sometimes I even let the odd car out at junctions. I also leave the toilet seat down – as standard. Even Jesus didn't do that!"

 

I'm making sure to only message women who are over 40 (my age), under 5ft 2 (I'm 5ft 8) and who are 'A Few Extra Pounds' body type (I train 4-5 times a week.)

 

My profile is four days old. Messages sent: 12. Replies: 0

Number of unsolicited messages: 1 - not sure if mid-transition gender swap! These stats aren't even the tip of the iceberg, any man on here will know that the zero will not rise much in the coming months!

 

This isn't 'whining' or 'giving off bad vibes' - this is how it is!

[somedude81]

Online dating experiences are VASTLY different for men and women.

 

This article was written by a woman (a feminist who contributes to Jezebel) and she sums up the experience of the average man perfectly.

 

Why Online Dating Sucks for Men | Alternet

 

"I tell all my single guy friends to watch out for online dating. It is a sad, soul-crushing place where good guys go to die a slow death by way of ignored messages and empty inboxes. You will peruse profiles and find a few women who aren’t posing in a bathroom with their stomachs exposed. You will look for things in common in their profile (they like Scrabble too!). You will send them a note, carefully crafted to show interest and attention to detail. The first seven will not respond. The next one will, but she spells “you” as “u” and you will let the conversation stall. Finally, one of the cool girls writes back, and you will banter a bit, swapping favorite restaurants or concert venues. You will ask her to meet up “in real life.” At the bar, you will chat nervously for an hour (she is not as pretty or as funny as you had hoped she’d be), and then you will be saddled with the $27 check even though she ate most of the sweet potato fries. She will offer to split, but you think she doesn’t mean it and you don’t want to be a jerk. You will march home to an empty inbox and the desire to spend another hour browsing and writing will start to fade."

 

 

Take into account this thread below. A man superimposes his face onto a woman's body, creates a fake female profile on POF and STILL get deluged with messages!

 

***The Ultimate POF Troll Thread*** CamelJockey + L.A. Misc edition!!! - Bodybuilding.com Forums

 

 

I've just created a new profile on POF, using my avatar pic from here as my main photo. I'm keeping it lighthearted, so here is my profile description:

 

"Well apparently I'm supposed to talk about me, my hobbies, interests etc. but everybody writes the same so let's start off by being frank. I'm confident and spontaneous, but also a good guy. When I say good guy I mean genuine and honest, not Mr Meek who apologises for breathing too loudly. I make sure my friends and family are happy and that elderly neighbours have enough Werther's Originals! Sometimes I even let the odd car out at junctions. I also leave the toilet seat down – as standard. Even Jesus didn't do that!"

 

I'm making sure to only message women who are over 40 (my age), under 5ft 2 (I'm 5ft 8) and who are 'A Few Extra Pounds' body type (I train 4-5 times a week.)

 

My profile is four days old. Messages sent: 12. Replies: 0

Number of unsolicited messages: 1 - not sure if mid-transition gender swap! These stats aren't even the tip of the iceberg, any man on here will know that the zero will not rise much in the coming months!

 

This isn't 'whining' or 'giving off bad vibes' - this is how it is!

 

Might as well message women up to your height. Otherwise you're just limiting yourself.

[Moy]

Might as well message women up to your height. Otherwise you're just limiting yourself.

 

"I'm 5'3" and I like my heels, so no f***ing hobbits ok?"

 

One of several.....

[somedude81]

"I'm 5'3" and I like my heels, so no f***ing hobbits ok?"

 

One of several.....

 

Call her a Uruk and move on. No need to dwell on the stuck up ones.

[Moy]

More messages to say hi, relating to their profiles. More looking at my profile, thinking 'Eww!' and then blanking/blocking me.

 

C'est la vie. I might start saving photos to show the type I'm being rejected by. Soul destroying!

[kart180]

yes, but I'm not really good ar messaging , mostly a hi and not much. tried most sites and not really know anything beyond causal messaging