Blackberries Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 So a few months ago, an instructor at my gym, who never looked twice at me before, suddenly started saying hi to me. Facebook creeping tells me that he had recently become single. From saying hi he progressed to a lot of eye contact. In class, he would make extended eye contact, little smiles and winks around the gym when nobody would notice, etc. I'd see him watching me in the mirrors around the gym. This went on for about a month. I figured since he works there, he'd probably be afraid to ask me out for fear I'd say no and get him in trouble, so one evening I stayed back after class to try and talk to him. It was really awkward he acted like he didn't want to talk. Kept looking over my shoulder, looked like he didn't want to be there. I hoped it was nerves and asked if he wanted to hang out over the weekend, he said "I have to help a friend with some DIY" and that was it. Shot me straight down. No counter offer, no nothing. I made my excuses to leave, and decided to forget about him. Now, he won't leave me alone! I had to stop going to his classes because he wouldn't stop staring and I ended up feeling too self conscious. He'd specifically say hi to me at the start of class and if he told us to lay on the floor and do crunches he'd come over, stand over me and smile. If he's correcting someone in front of me he'll look over their shoulder at me as he does it. If I'm on a machine on the gym floor he'll make eye contact as he walks by. It's getting annoying! I say hi to him if I bump into him but besides that I avoid him. There is another girl who goes to the same class and flirts outrageously with him for the whole thing, I am wondering if he just loves the attention. What's his deal? Why would you shoot someone down and then continue flirting with them for weeks? Is he just attention seeking? He is a big muscle man type, my friends say he probably just loves the attention and knows I won't ask him out again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blackberries Posted March 19, 2015 Author Share Posted March 19, 2015 *bump* Anyone? Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Is he single? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blackberries Posted March 19, 2015 Author Share Posted March 19, 2015 Is he single? Yes he is. Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Yes he is. Oh, then yes, I think he loves the attention. He may be looking to see if you're looking back at him. What is his face and eyes like when he makes eye contact? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blackberries Posted March 19, 2015 Author Share Posted March 19, 2015 Oh, then yes, I think he loves the attention. He may be looking to see if you're looking back at him. What is his face and eyes like when he makes eye contact? I would say "lustful" as cringey as it sounds! He smiles a lot also. Link to post Share on other sites
JohnsonBaby Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 He s probably attracted to you . I would smile back at him and keep my cool ,make eye contact while smiling and keep focusing on whatever you re doing at the gym.and yes He likes attention . Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 I would say "lustful" as cringey as it sounds! He smiles a lot also. Yeah, don't take him seriously. Especially the fact that when you talked to him alone he wasn't fixated on you wasn't a good sign. He should be looking in your eyes like a dreamy fool and say "YES!". Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 >>I had to stop going to his classes because he wouldn't stop staring at me and I ended up feeling too self-conscious.<< ---------- ^^That was precisely his intention for staring you down inappropriately. For some reason, he didn't want you in his class, so he intimidated you into leaving. Maybe you remind him of an ex who now repulses him, who knows...it could be anything. But he definitely did not want you in his class, and by you not going anymore, he got exactly what he wanted. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 >>I had to stop going to his classes because he wouldn't stop staring at me and I ended up feeling too self-conscious.<< ---------- ^^That was precisely his intention for staring you down inappropriately. For some reason, he didn't want you in his class, so he intimidated you into leaving. Maybe you remind him of an ex who now repulses him, who knows...it could be anything. But he definitely did not want you in his class, and by you not going anymore, he got exactly what he wanted. ^^To add -- his reaction to you when you asked him to hang out was extremely telling. Clearly, you made (make) him uncomfortable and he just didn't want you there. Don't take it personally as it most likely has nothing to do with you personally. As I said, you may remind him of an ex he had a bad experience with, who now repulses him. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Sorry but he's not that attracted to you. You made him uncomfortable when you asked him out. He likely tried to get rid if you from his classes. Or else he's seeing someone and is keeping a distance that's what happened to me one except the guy said he'd like to hang and he said he was attracted to me and it was obvious he'd tell me I had a great body and he'd flirt. He told me he was seeing someone... Then when he ended it he hooked me up... Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Doesn't matter why he stares.... Why do I say this? Lemme see, going on over 6 months of some guy staring at me who has no intention of leaving his girl and/or even seeing me on the side. I spent months trying to figure out why he stares and who cares at this point. Why do I not care? Oh, cuz I did the same thing you did. I walked up to him, gave him my tel and offered to "see" him. Well, he wanted to hook-up right then and there and when I counter-offered, he changed his mind. From the day he changed his mind, I sorta tried again to approach him in person and each attempt resulted in him running away and/or getting rude/ignoring me. But, he still stares and stuff. So, again, at this point I don't give a flying f- why he still stares. He's involved with others, has made no effort to ask me out/see me, and turned down every attempt I had done to see him/ask him out. "Interested" men act "interested". And, if they aren't "interested", who cares if they find you "attractive". I don't need attention that bad. Oh, and what others said about smiling back cuz he likes the attention? To heck with that. Again, my situation. I am freakin' fed up with him getting his fill (attention from me) while I sit around horny and upset. I need to start charging him for all this "attention" I give him that makes him feel all giddy. That's her f-ing job to keep him entertained. How the heck does she get his time/attention/sex/etc and he's getting fills from me and I get nada? Don't let this guy do that to you, let him get his fill somewhere else. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 How would you know he's staring at you if you are not looking at him? If a guy rejected me after I asked him out I would never look in his direction again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 How would you know he's staring at you if you are not looking at him? If a guy rejected me after I asked him out I would never look in his direction again. Lol, I presented this same question to another poster on a different thread who kept bragging that women stared at him all the time. OP, as I said, you are creeping him out. You make him uncomfortable.... Probably best you're taking your classes elsewhere.. Link to post Share on other sites
O'Malley Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 My guess is that he likes the attention he gets from various people but his employer might have a no fraternization policy (trainers have been fired for this). Trainers can build a rapport with clients and some even flirt with them socially, but the smart ones steer clear of any outside the gym entanglements. It's irrelevant at this point, since he gave you the busy signal when you asked him out. If he's that attractive, he has no issue meeting people in his spare time. Let him stare (which is unprofessional), ignore him and go about your business. Go to another gym if it's disrupting your workout. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 My top guess is that he loves the attention--even if he has no plan to act on it. Also if he just recently broke up with his girlfriend, he probably has no intention to date or is not emotionally ready but still welcomes the attention of good-looking women as an ego boost. Guys' egos can be in a really bad place if they've broken up recently, and they may go to some crazy lengths to prove that they are still desirable (which for them can be as simple as physical attention), yet when it comes to real possibility of dating, they panic because their emotions can't take it--or they were just in it for ego boost. He's the one with the issue. If you like the classes, keep going. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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