Aspergers? Social anxiety disorder?

[Nikki Sahagin]

I've come to realise that there is something about me that probably is not quite 'right' in comparison to 'normal' people.

 

I am REALLY anti-social.

 

I only enjoy being around about 5 people (4 are family and 1 is my partner). Everyone else I can go without for large stretches of time or I'm happy to communicate with by text/email (basically with some disconnection/distance between us).

 

* If the door bell rings, I literally PANIC. I rarely answer; I'd rather hide

* I don't like getting texts, calls or messages from anyone but my 5 (sometimes rare exceptions)

* I don't like talking on the phone, except to my 5

* I love going out and doing things but only with those 5 people (sometimes I make an exception). Going out with other people tends to make me nervous, bored, uncomfortable, itching to get away...It's like I have a really short threshold for enjoying the company of other people

 

None of this bothers me UNTIL I see other people leading normal social lives; then I feel like something about me is wrong or that I'm missing out on something that everyone else gets.

 

I'm not boring. I travel a lot and have many hobbies. I just only really like to do things alone or with 1 of my 5 people. I don't really have much interest in making new friends or meeting new people.

 

Is this weird?

[Gloria25]

EySounds like me...

 

I hate talking on the phone. I feel like I gotta make convo. I like texting better. But, if it's something important, I prefer in person.

 

Yeah, when I hear the door ring, it upsets, irritates and scares me too cuz I wonder like "what do they want now!?!" And, are they gonna keep on trying till I come out? Are they gonna try to catch me on my way to my vehicle? I had several people get so upset about me not answering my doorbell that they rang it incessantly for days, hours and stuff. Did they think I was dead/missing? Who cares. Unless I'm expecting you/inviting you over, I'm not answering.

 

Same way when people invite me to stuff. I sometimes agree then change my mind and they start calling, ringing my doorbell to hunt me down. I get anxiety when I change my mind about going...I don't wanna deal with the fall out.

 

And yes, barely can count on one hand "who" I consider as a friend. I also don't need constant social interaction. Same with guys. I wanna "know" you're with me, but I don't have to see, call, text you everyday.

 

But, I'm Krazy, so don't compare yourself to me

[Nikki Sahagin]

The doorbell makes me feel so anxious too; I just feel like 'urgh I have to talk to someone; entertain them, ask them questions, but I just don't CARE.'

 

I'm very social when I'm with 1 of my 5. I live with my bf and we spend loads of time together; I can talk to him forever...

 

But generally...I just find people largely...boring, uninteresting, scary, rude, stupid...I know I sound judgemental but I sort of feel that most people aren't worth knowing and those that are can be so guarded that it's too much effort to dig to find the gold.

 

I feel that the people in my life meet all of my needs so I don't really need any others but I still wonder if I'm missing a social chip. Even as a kid I always rolled around with the same core group; I'd chat and meet loads of new people but I was always happy coming back to my tribe.

[SerCay]

I've come to realise that there is something about me that probably is not quite 'right' in comparison to 'normal' people.

 

I am REALLY anti-social.

 

I only enjoy being around about 5 people (4 are family and 1 is my partner). Everyone else I can go without for large stretches of time or I'm happy to communicate with by text/email (basically with some disconnection/distance between us).

 

* If the door bell rings, I literally PANIC. I rarely answer; I'd rather hide

* I don't like getting texts, calls or messages from anyone but my 5 (sometimes rare exceptions)

* I don't like talking on the phone, except to my 5

* I love going out and doing things but only with those 5 people (sometimes I make an exception). Going out with other people tends to make me nervous, bored, uncomfortable, itching to get away...It's like I have a really short threshold for enjoying the company of other people

 

None of this bothers me UNTIL I see other people leading normal social lives; then I feel like something about me is wrong or that I'm missing out on something that everyone else gets.

 

I'm not boring. I travel a lot and have many hobbies. I just only really like to do things alone or with 1 of my 5 people. I don't really have much interest in making new friends or meeting new people.

 

Is this weird?

 

Nahh you're not weird, you're probably introverted.

I'm exactly like this and I've come to like the way I am.

 

The only reason why you sometimes think that something's wrong with you is because society makes you believe you're supposed to be a certain type of person to fit in.

[Radu]

I've come to realise that there is something about me that probably is not quite 'right' in comparison to 'normal' people.

 

I am REALLY anti-social.

The below is not really anti-social.

 

I only enjoy being around about 5 people (4 are family and 1 is my partner). Everyone else I can go without for large stretches of time or I'm happy to communicate with by text/email (basically with some disconnection/distance between us).

Same as me ... huge introvert.

Leave me alone with my thoughts and i'm just plain ... happy.

 

* If the door bell rings, I literally PANIC. I rarely answer; I'd rather hide

Ditto.

I live in a village and ppl here are used to waltzing in the front door and banging on the door to your house.

To me it's a huuuuuge invasion of privacy and even hearing some gypsy who collects iron yell 'bosssssssss' freaks me out.

It is literally stressing me.

 

It got so bad that i put cotton in my ear and he was still yelling 20min later ... i went down in a huff and blasted him [verbally].

 

Getting unknown ppl to do this at my house really drives up my anxiety.

 

* I don't like getting texts, calls or messages from anyone but my 5 (sometimes rare exceptions)

I can handle from more ppl but what i really hate is getting those from #'s i don't recognize.

I sometimes wait a day before calling back.

 

* I don't like talking on the phone, except to my 5

I'm ok with this one ... but in the past i hated it too.

 

* I love going out and doing things but only with those 5 people (sometimes I make an exception). Going out with other people tends to make me nervous, bored, uncomfortable, itching to get away...It's like I have a really short threshold for enjoying the company of other people

Same here.

Going out and interacting with ppl [especially parties] really drains my energy.

And annoys me.

 

I can force myself to like it now and i'm quite social [i have plans to improve it further] but ... it's still a drain and will always be a drain.

 

It's called being an introvert.

 

None of this bothers me UNTIL I see other people leading normal social lives; then I feel like something about me is wrong or that I'm missing out on something that everyone else gets.

 

I'm not boring. I travel a lot and have many hobbies. I just only really like to do things alone or with 1 of my 5 people. I don't really have much interest in making new friends or meeting new people.

 

Is this weird?

Not weird for an introvert.

 

You don't have aspergers.

You might have some elements of Social Anxiety Personality Disorder [since your anxiety does shoot up somewhat] ... but not to serious levels.

 

I had [and still have] the above. It's like hearing in HS someone kinda mention your name [when you are not the only one called that in school] when going past lockers and then spending a week or more stressing over what is being said by you ... and how did you mess up the social interaction ... and how it will come back to haunt you ... and how can you improve this ... can you improve this ? ... fu*k this ... i don't need them ... i don't need any of them ... i don't need their fake friendship.

And you sully down and look in your notebook ... hardening your shell even better ... letting nobody in because they might potentially hurt you.

The above is what can go through your mind with anxiety disorder if it's fully blown.

 

In your case ... you are a serious introvert.

But good news everyone ! ... it can be improved with exposure and drive to better interact with ppl ... removing the shy component and reducing the anxiety component.

 

Introvert is separate from shy ... but the latter is generally caused by the former.

Edited March 18, 2015 by Radu

[SerCay]

In your case ... you are a serious introvert.

But good news everyone ! ... it can be improved with exposure and drive to better interact with ppl ... removing the shy component and reducing the anxiety component.

 

Introvert is separate from shy ... but the latter is generally caused by the former.

 

I agree with life being much easier when the shy part is reduced. I did it to myself too and my social anxiety disappeared.

 

BUT I just wanted to say that we shouldn't call this "improving introvertedness" because being an introvert is just as good as being an extravert..or anything in between, nothing to be improved there.

[susanpetrick]

hi! I think you need to come out of your comfort zone, you are so limited in the boundary of those five persons. Make new friends, join some social events, try to ignore your anti-social habits.