Dear Self,

[darkbloom]

Dear Self,

 

I just wanted to take a minute out to tell you how proud I am of you. This last breakup is the hardest thing you have been through. You have handled it with grace, dignity, and tremendous strength. Your commitment to NC for your own healing has been remarkable. Even in your lowest moments, you thought of your own healing first. You did not sabotage yourself or get into contact with him. Even when you really, really wanted to.

 

You allowed yourself to cry the day of the breakup. And the day after when you came home to an empty house. But afterwards you said "Self, you need to stop this. You are better than this. No person is worth this amount of tears." And that is exactly what you did. You have been improving yourself. You have found happiness in being alone. You have a certain glow about yourself that comes from knowing that everything is going to be okay. The sky is NOT falling. This too shall pass.

 

You are bright, beautiful, and vibrant. I love you and you will find someone who loves you just as much.

 

XOXO,

 

DB

 

P.S. I encourage everyone to celebrate their successes below. You don't have to beat yourself up for the mistakes you have made. Focusing on the positive aspects of your healing will make you feel so much better about how far you have come.

[kenmore]

Hear hear! First, congrats on your self-esteem! That is difficult to have in times like these. Second, congrats on your progress!

 

I see that I am making progress too. It's difficult daily, but daily I persevere and try to move myself one more bit ahead. Same with my new work. I have days I feel I'm getting nowhere. Maybe I am getting nowhere, but I just need to keep pushing it forward, and sooner or later I will be getting somewhere.

 

While I expect to and usually do see depressed posts, people who are in so much pain, people who need a helping hand, and I try my best to give it to them as they have given it to me, it's refreshing now and then to hear from someone who is feeling good about how they have acted and where they are going.

 

Speaking for myself, I still want it to work out with ex even though she has been evil to me lately, but little by little I'm moving on. Some of it is strength, some denial. Some is just trying to convince myself, but at the end of the day (or month), if I am further along, I'm doing well!

 

Hugs to you and a high five!!

 

Ken

[kenmore]

PS, you need a better profile pic.

[AprilTears]

I'm doing better than expected. I am approaching 3 weeks NC and I have no urge to contact him. I have nothing to say. I think of him many times each day and still wonder how he could have said this and done that and all of those other strange conversations we have with ourselves.

 

What I struggle with most is that he is really forever gone. However, I know it is for the best. I think about him forgetting me more each day and that is a struggle as well. Almost like I want to contact him so he won't forget me. Know what I mean? I would never do it but it does give me a little bit of panic when I think about it.

 

But I am moving on. I am so much better than I was 2 weeks ago and my future looks promising.

[darkbloom]

Hear hear! First, congrats on your self-esteem! That is difficult to have in times like these. Second, congrats on your progress!

 

I see that I am making progress too. It's difficult daily, but daily I persevere and try to move myself one more bit ahead. Same with my new work. I have days I feel I'm getting nowhere. Maybe I am getting nowhere, but I just need to keep pushing it forward, and sooner or later I will be getting somewhere.

 

While I expect to and usually do see depressed posts, people who are in so much pain, people who need a helping hand, and I try my best to give it to them as they have given it to me, it's refreshing now and then to hear from someone who is feeling good about how they have acted and where they are going.

 

Speaking for myself, I still want it to work out with ex even though she has been evil to me lately, but little by little I'm moving on. Some of it is strength, some denial. Some is just trying to convince myself, but at the end of the day (or month), if I am further along, I'm doing well!

 

Hugs to you and a high five!!

 

Ken

 

 

Hi Ken,

 

You will start to see the hard days as an opportunity to practice gratitude. I was nervous about a new boss at work today but I know that I can do anything now that I have survived this breakup. There were days where I did not want to get out of bed. My sadness was so all encompassing that I was unable to function. I am a thousand miles from the person I was after the breakup. I am so grateful.

 

I too see a lot of people hurting. I want to provide as much strength for them as I can. I also want people to know that it will get better when you make a commitment to it. You have to decide that you are done being sad and that moving forward is the only option left. I still have rough days. I still miss him occasionally. The void he left though is nowhere near the pain he caused while we were in the relationship. I can see that with a clear head now. It takes full NC to get to that point of clarity. The clarity is needed to keep making positive decisions and to be happy.

 

Things always work out the way they are meant to. If you two don't work it out, there is someone out there that is meant to come along for you.

 

Keep your head up. Sending you all the positive vibes and good energy I have.

 

Hugs,

 

DB

[darkbloom]

PS, you need a better profile pic.

 

I am forever a Tupac and Biggie fan. I have my icon picture on one of my favorite T-shirts. I wear it out in public and the reactions I get are so worth it. People get very offended.

 

(I am also a young semi-attractive white female. People do NOT expect me to be quite so inflammatory. I love it.)

[darkbloom]

I'm doing better than expected. I am approaching 3 weeks NC and I have no urge to contact him. I have nothing to say. I think of him many times each day and still wonder how he could have said this and done that and all of those other strange conversations we have with ourselves.

 

What I struggle with most is that he is really forever gone. However, I know it is for the best. I think about him forgetting me more each day and that is a struggle as well. Almost like I want to contact him so he won't forget me. Know what I mean? I would never do it but it does give me a little bit of panic when I think about it.

 

But I am moving on. I am so much better than I was 2 weeks ago and my future looks promising.

 

I do not think it's possible for ex's to ever completely forget about us. We are not programmed to forget things that were once important to us. (If we could, we would probably cut that pesky ex right out of our brain so we could focus on healing.)

 

The forever gone is the biggest hurdle I jumped over. I miss his parents terribly but I have accepted that I have to let them go. And the ex. His parents may reach out to me in the future when enough time has passed. I am not holding my breath though. I am almost 3 months NC. I am so amazed at how far I have come. After the first breakup, there is no way I could have held NC for even 3 days. My attachment was something fierce.

 

The first month of NC is the hardest. After that, it hurts a little bit but if you don't pick at the scab, it gets smaller and smaller.

[darkbloom]

PS, you need a better profile pic.

 

PS, you need a profile picture.

[rollercoaster11]

Dear Self,

Each day is a struggle to get your day started. You wake up with tears in your eyes but u didn't remember falling asleep crying. Every waking moment day in and day out you keep this man on your mind, including him in every scenario of your daily life. He was your your all because you felt that your life revolved around this man because he added this excitement to your monotonous life. You really screwed up when you decided to date your co worker so now your work is doubled cut out for you. What will you do now..what you have been doing is holding your head up and still smiling while your heart is breaking. So what you have a big challenge ahead but its not anything that you and I cant conquer. You have nothing to hold your head down for and you need to stop with the tear unless they are tears of joy for you coming through this shining like pure gold. Keep up the good work and stop beating yourself up because your one moment of weakness.its not to late to start over..its only to late if you are dead and baby you are very much alive. Mwah!!!self you are going to be just fine.

Thanks this is a really great post.!!!

[kenmore]

Hi Ken,

 

You will start to see the hard days as an opportunity to practice gratitude. I was nervous about a new boss at work today but I know that I can do anything now that I have survived this breakup. There were days where I did not want to get out of bed. My sadness was so all encompassing that I was unable to function. I am a thousand miles from the person I was after the breakup. I am so grateful.

 

I too see a lot of people hurting. I want to provide as much strength for them as I can. I also want people to know that it will get better when you make a commitment to it. You have to decide that you are done being sad and that moving forward is the only option left. I still have rough days. I still miss him occasionally. The void he left though is nowhere near the pain he caused while we were in the relationship. I can see that with a clear head now. It takes full NC to get to that point of clarity. The clarity is needed to keep making positive decisions and to be happy.

 

Things always work out the way they are meant to. If you two don't work it out, there is someone out there that is meant to come along for you.

 

Keep your head up. Sending you all the positive vibes and good energy I have.

 

Hugs,

 

DB

 

Thanks DB. How did it go with the new boss?

 

The rough part of our breakup was that there was no hurt or pain while we were married. I just found out recently that the "reason for our separation" was her mother's advice. Her mother, whom I loved, who I made many loving meals for, who confided in me and I confided in her, told her she should leave me because I was not contributing financially, and she did what mommy said! All of the hurt and pain came later. It's still coming (wish I was.)

 

I'm trying to work past the "unable to get out of bed" thing. I thought I had it licked, but this new job is basically a self-employed one and the more I put into it, the more I'll get back, so I find myself working until 9 every night. Add a single TV show to unwind and sleep, and I end up waking at 8:30. That's too late! I need to discipline myself.

 

Anyway, yes I need all kinds of pics! I had a bunch, they are with STBX, and probably burned by now. I need professional photos but can't afford $200 for a professional head shot or two, which I have no doubt would look awesome! But I think I'll ask a colleague to take some in the lobby for now. All my cool vacation pics are with her on thumbs. Who gets those? Who cares? I could use them for here, but otherwise, f*ck them.

 

Hugs and keep up the positive vibes!

 

Ken

[kenmore]

Dear Self,

Each day is a struggle to get your day started. You wake up with tears in your eyes but u didn't remember falling asleep crying. Every waking moment day in and day out you keep this man on your mind, including him in every scenario of your daily life. He was your your all because you felt that your life revolved around this man because he added this excitement to your monotonous life. You really screwed up when you decided to date your co worker so now your work is doubled cut out for you. What will you do now..what you have been doing is holding your head up and still smiling while your heart is breaking. So what you have a big challenge ahead but its not anything that you and I cant conquer. You have nothing to hold your head down for and you need to stop with the tear unless they are tears of joy for you coming through this shining like pure gold. Keep up the good work and stop beating yourself up because your one moment of weakness.its not to late to start over..its only to late if you are dead and baby you are very much alive. Mwah!!!self you are going to be just fine.

Thanks this is a really great post.!!!

 

Rollercoaster, hugs to you! I see you are hurting from what happened. It's obvious you are in pain and we can all relate to that! All I can really say is live and learn. You f*cked up and now you learned. If the tears are still coming when you are waking, then you are not done with them. Let them flow. Let it out! You need to.

 

I have tried to keep my emotions bottled up. That's what men are supposed to do, right? We're not supposed to give a sh*t, but we do. We're not supposed to hurt. My wife feels I can't be hurt because that was how I always portrayed myself to her. I was a Goddamned man, and nothing was going to hurt me! Since she feels that way, she has taken extra measures to hurt me just so I feel something, but since I do really feel the pain, it's just extra beyond what is necessary. She just doesn't know it.

 

It sounds like you are trying to keep your emotions bottled up, and as humans, what can we do? We must function. Just allow yourself some time each day to go somewhere private and scream, cry or do what you need to do to let it out! You need that I think.

 

All my best. It's a tough road, and we can all help each other on it!

 

Ken

[kenmore]

I'm doing better than expected. I am approaching 3 weeks NC and I have no urge to contact him. I have nothing to say. I think of him many times each day and still wonder how he could have said this and done that and all of those other strange conversations we have with ourselves.

 

What I struggle with most is that he is really forever gone. However, I know it is for the best. I think about him forgetting me more each day and that is a struggle as well. Almost like I want to contact him so he won't forget me. Know what I mean? I would never do it but it does give me a little bit of panic when I think about it.

 

But I am moving on. I am so much better than I was 2 weeks ago and my future looks promising.

 

Same!

 

I have finally worked past the daily urge to contact her, but I still want to. I won't, and in fact she emailed me some lame-ass travel thing because she is trying to get me to leave the state! Ok, just to give you some insight about the purgatory I'm currently in, I want NC. I told her I will not be her friend, and just want her to stop acting as if she cared (because she kept doing so.) So now, she keeps telling me I should move from San Diego to Washington state to be with my daughter and her son. Um, I JUST got licensed in Ca to sell insurance, and just started working for Farmers as an independent agent, so ya, it's a great time to throw all that away, move and start over! WTF?

 

It's ludicrous (hats off to DB, though I HATE Rap!) It's ridiculous! She knows this, she's not stupid, her message is two pronged: 1, you should put states between us. 2, what you are doing is meaningless and you should feel bad about yourself. Trust me, she couldn't care less about my daughter or her son.

 

While that should anger me, it doesn't, and here's why (and this is lame!) Because if she really didn't give a crap about me, she wouldn't do these things. She has to think of me to send me an email telling me I should move a thousand miles away, right!!? I'm obviously still on her mind, and will be as I become a festering sore on her ass!

 

So, don't be too unhappy about how things are going. You are not forgotten and you too are a festering sore! LOL! As is he! We all have them and they are not going away for years!

 

My first wife died in Jan 2007. Did I forget her? No way! That's over eight years for the bean counters, and I still love her and miss her. It's never really over. Huge hugs!

 

Ken

[darkbloom]

Thanks DB. How did it go with the new boss?

 

The rough part of our breakup was that there was no hurt or pain while we were married. I just found out recently that the "reason for our separation" was her mother's advice. Her mother, whom I loved, who I made many loving meals for, who confided in me and I confided in her, told her she should leave me because I was not contributing financially, and she did what mommy said! All of the hurt and pain came later. It's still coming (wish I was.)

 

I'm trying to work past the "unable to get out of bed" thing. I thought I had it licked, but this new job is basically a self-employed one and the more I put into it, the more I'll get back, so I find myself working until 9 every night. Add a single TV show to unwind and sleep, and I end up waking at 8:30. That's too late! I need to discipline myself.

 

Anyway, yes I need all kinds of pics! I had a bunch, they are with STBX, and probably burned by now. I need professional photos but can't afford $200 for a professional head shot or two, which I have no doubt would look awesome! But I think I'll ask a colleague to take some in the lobby for now. All my cool vacation pics are with her on thumbs. Who gets those? Who cares? I could use them for here, but otherwise, f*ck them.

 

Hugs and keep up the positive vibes!

 

Ken

 

Hi ken,

 

New boss went over very well. I'm a fast talker and a great salesperson. I think she was intimidated a bit because I know more about what's going on with my company than she does.

 

The thing with her mom is going to backfire. The girls I know that have listened to their mothers all end up regretting it. Sounds like after some time she will be back. Especially if the relationship was good.

 

Use a picture of something that makes you happy in the meantime. My picture is rap but my signature is country lyrics. Music is one of those things that speaks to me. It can literally change my mood and I have strong memories tied to songs.

 

Breakups are a chance for us to have a new beginning. It's kind of freeing in a way. Don't let the sadness drag you to the bottom. I'm definately around if you need any positivity or words of encouragement.

 

Xoxo,

 

DB

 

p.s. You should really give rap a try. I'm not talking anything on the radio or top 40 rap. I'm talking old school. You might be able to relate.

[rollercoaster11]

Thanks kenmore for your words of encouragement. I try not keeping things inside but I have talked my family and friends ears of...Im sure they are tired of listening to me talk about the same stuff over and over. It seems everyone thinks there should be a deadline for this type of heartbreak. I hate one minute Im sad and then angry and then this moment of empowerment...where I feel that I can get through this. You are right there is a certain stigma attached to men if they cry because it is expected of them to be strong no matter what. I too believed that stereotype, but since joining this forum...my eyes have have been opened. I noticed there are just about as many guys on here than women....its kind of refreshing to see that. You do what you have to do to get through this difficult journey in your life. I wish for you all the best.

[kenmore]

Hi ken,

 

New boss went over very well. I'm a fast talker and a great salesperson. I think she was intimidated a bit because I know more about what's going on with my company than she does.

 

The thing with her mom is going to backfire. The girls I know that have listened to their mothers all end up regretting it. Sounds like after some time she will be back. Especially if the relationship was good.

 

Use a picture of something that makes you happy in the meantime. My picture is rap but my signature is country lyrics. Music is one of those things that speaks to me. It can literally change my mood and I have strong memories tied to songs.

 

Breakups are a chance for us to have a new beginning. It's kind of freeing in a way. Don't let the sadness drag you to the bottom. I'm definately around if you need any positivity or words of encouragement.

 

Xoxo,

 

DB

 

p.s. You should really give rap a try. I'm not talking anything on the radio or top 40 rap. I'm talking old school. You might be able to relate.

 

Hi Darkbloom, thank you for saying that about her mom, but my wife is an exception. It's kinda funny, she told me a few times about her father's dying day when he said she was the "exceptional child" and how at the time she didn't know what that really meant nor how to take it. I agree, it's a thing that sounds good, but could be a negative thing. Exceptional really means out of the norm, so who knows what he meant? So my wife is an exception. In this case, it's bad!

 

I just may take you up on that offer for words of encouragement though! I can use those.

 

I listened to rap on the radio so much with her daughter while driving her to school and home. Every friggin day for years! Sorry, it just annoyed me, but my music (hard rock) annoys it's share of people, so it's all ok. Lyrics are typically just nice if they relate to one's situation, and I found my share of those which did, but eventually my feelings changed and the songs no longer fit. I'm going for more instrumental now :-P

 

Ken

[kenmore]

Thanks kenmore for your words of encouragement. I try not keeping things inside but I have talked my family and friends ears of...Im sure they are tired of listening to me talk about the same stuff over and over. It seems everyone thinks there should be a deadline for this type of heartbreak. I hate one minute Im sad and then angry and then this moment of empowerment...where I feel that I can get through this. You are right there is a certain stigma attached to men if they cry because it is expected of them to be strong no matter what. I too believed that stereotype, but since joining this forum...my eyes have have been opened. I noticed there are just about as many guys on here than women....its kind of refreshing to see that. You do what you have to do to get through this difficult journey in your life. I wish for you all the best.

 

Hi Rollercoaster, yes and no.

 

For sure people who Don't Get It (we used to call them DGI's on the widow site) are super-annoying! When you have not experienced a thing, how can you possibly know how it feels? I'll even admit that at first on that site (back in early 2007) that I used to compare my grief with others' and try to figure out whose was worse. Someone who lost a spouse quickly (like an accident) or slowly (like cancer?) Someone who was just married or been married for decades? Someone who was young or old? Trust me when I say none of those factors really mean sh*t. It just hurts! No matter what! When you try to put yourself in their shoes, you can see it hurts just as much!

 

Same here. Men hurt just as much as women and vice versa.

 

Men feel just as much. We aren't supposed to reveal that so this is a huge breach of contract with the almighty! I felt telling you seemed worth it though.

 

The back and forth thing is very normal. It was then and it is now. I too feel so much like I'm done with her. She gave up on us! She turned her back on me! How could I possibly love her anymore?! Yet it pops in. Every time I tell myself to shut up! She's not worth it, but the heart still pangs.

 

I will say that I am not tired of hearing your story. I can't speak for others here, but if you wanted to let loose, I am willing and actually wanting to hear it. It seems you joined recently so probably can't private message, but please feel free to let loose here! Nobody can stop that except the moderators and as long as you keep your nose clean, they won't!

 

Hey, we are (mostly) all in a crappy place. While I "get" your close friends and family losing patience with you (we all go on too much for sure!) we are not DGI's. We do get it. Let it out! I'll respond. I care.

 

Ken

[darkbloom]

Hi Darkbloom, thank you for saying that about her mom, but my wife is an exception. It's kinda funny, she told me a few times about her father's dying day when he said she was the "exceptional child" and how at the time she didn't know what that really meant nor how to take it. I agree, it's a thing that sounds good, but could be a negative thing. Exceptional really means out of the norm, so who knows what he meant? So my wife is an exception. In this case, it's bad!

 

I just may take you up on that offer for words of encouragement though! I can use those.

 

I listened to rap on the radio so much with her daughter while driving her to school and home. Every friggin day for years! Sorry, it just annoyed me, but my music (hard rock) annoys it's share of people, so it's all ok. Lyrics are typically just nice if they relate to one's situation, and I found my share of those which did, but eventually my feelings changed and the songs no longer fit. I'm going for more instrumental now :-P

 

Ken

 

 

Hi Ken,

 

In my experience, women who make decisions not based on their own feelings and rationals end up making the biggest mistakes. My mom's best friend was told to marry her first husband by her mother. She was married for ten years and ended up with two children and one broken leg by this dude. She regrets the abuse he put on her and her children. She has finally found someone who treats her right but she wasted so many years of her life based off her mom's advice. I know she regrets her decision to marry this jerk. Your wife will need a come-to-Jesus moment for her to see that her mother wan not in fact right. Maybe the next dude that she dates will treat her terrible and she will realize what she lost. Girls are very strange creatures.

 

I am an oasis of encouragement. Tomorrow will be officially 3 months NC. I am already planning my celebration post. I did not even think I would make it 3 days so the fact that we are coming on 90 days with no bad decisions or unhealthy choices on my part for this relationship makes me ecstatic.

 

All music is good music in my opinion. Just depends on the mood you are in and the feelings you have. Hard rock reminds me of my brother and I listen to it when I am angry or when I have to drive long distances. Hopefully your daughter did not make you listen to terrible rap like Lil' Wayne or something equally awful.

 

I am taking the little celebrations today. I filed my taxes without the ex today. He normally helped me with my taxes since accounting was his specialty. The only thing I could think of is 'WHERE IS HE WHEN I ACTUALLY NEED HIM. LIKE EXPLAINING MY DEDUCTIONS TO ME.' Then I figured if the only thing I miss him for is filing my taxes once a year, I am doing pretty good.

 

C'est la vie. I am still avoiding all of our dining establishments. Maybe I will try eating at one of them this week. I am feeling much better and 3 months has been too long to miss out on great food out of fear.

 

--DB

[rollercoaster11]

Thanks for your kind gesture. Im glad for this forum because I have the opportunity to be heard and to get things off my mind. People in general tend to forget that is until they are in the same situation. For instance...one of my friends just broke up with her boyfriend and now all a sudden she wants to talk. I didnt ignore her, I was actually very supportive...I wanted to say I told you so but I didnt..I wanted to. I guess its true misery loves company.

[na49]

It's so awesome that you are doing well darkbloom. I had my setback with the email from my ex, but I am motivated to be where you are in 3 months. I think about the future, and feel like things will get better for me. I think about where I will be if I just stay the course. It'll be the summer, I'll hopefully have a new job, I'll keep eating right, and working out, I'll turn 21. Maybe I'll have joined a few clubs on campus and met some new people.

 

I don't have eyes only for my ex anymore, and why should I? She clearly doesn't only have eyes for me. Talk is cheap, and she does a lot of talking. She wanted to keep me as her friend, keep me in her life. That doesn't work for me, and she can't even respect that. Somehow she comes to me and is acting like SHE is the victim. She's so surprised that my parents hate her. Seriously? It might have something to do with you leaving me twice for other guys! Once I told her she'd need to work on building the relationship, she changed her tune about me being the "only one for her". God.. I get so angry when I think about it all.

 

Sorry for hijacking your thread there lol. You should eventually eat at those places you used to eat with him. It may take time, but it is just another example of you taking control over your life again. Plus, I'm sure the places have good food, why should you miss out on that? Sometimes the little victories are the only ones we can get. They still count though. Keep up the good work!

[darkbloom]

Okay. I hate social media.

 

A mutual friend posted a photo on Instagram. Nothing to do with me or the ex. Ex commented on it. And friend commented back "how's vegas?" Meaning my ex took the job in Vegas that he had been talking about before our break up. It made my heart race a little and then I came back to reality. I am a little relieved now that I have no chances of running into my ex since he lives in Vegas. And a little guilty because I shouldn't know this because I don't want to know anything about him. I blocked him on Instagram but apparently that only means he doesn't follow me anymore.

 

Tomorrow is 3 months NC. I am happy that this information only hurt me for a second. Now I need to keep my eyes focused on healing and moving on.

 

My initial reaction before I began my healing would have been to text the ex. Now my gut instinct was to post here and to calm down. Thank you LS for keeping my feet on the ground. And any encouraging words would be great!!!

[BlackbirdSong]

Maybe he'll contract a STD from a hooker in Vegas and feel some real pain. Hope that helps

[darkbloom]

Maybe he'll contract a STD from a hooker in Vegas and feel some real pain. Hope that helps

 

He probably already got that from the girl he cheated on me with. Ew.

 

I'm not a vengeful person but I hope he gets fired from this job in Vegas. And he comes home with his tail between his legs. Ahhhhhh

 

Effff you social media!!

[BlackbirdSong]

He probably already got that from the girl he cheated on me with. Ew.

 

I'm not a vengeful person but I hope he gets fired from this job in Vegas. And he comes home with his tail between his legs. Ahhhhhh

 

Effff you social media!!

 

Hahaha I love your attitude!!!! :laugh::laugh:

[darkbloom]

Hahaha I love your attitude!!!! :laugh::laugh:

 

I actually don't feel that bad about it! It was a momentary spike in my

Blood pressure and my heart rate. Now that I have come back to my senses I'm like eh whatever.

 

He told me once that he couldn't live without me. Look at him all livin and stuff without me. I just took a dose of my own reality pill and it wasn't bitter.

 

Life is so much better on the no contact side!

 

I still hope he gets fired. For karmic purposes.

[fireflywy]

I had written myself a letter too about letting go and showing myself self love.

 

I also wrote a sonnet one day.

 

Dissolution! Oh what raging tempest!

Such absence the cause of fever dreams hot!

That which robs men of peace and tranquil sleep

Gone reason! Extinquished by a new lot!

 

Lost are days of summer remembered fair,

Come the tumult times, loves' binding unwrung

Remorse, reflection, possessed now but once rare

Time in tear hazed days, future's forge undone.

 

As cold night descends upon unwarmed heart

Thankful I am for warmest words said

From angels called friends, great wisdom they impart

Strength I gather, sadness will be soon shed

 

For dawn will come and new hope's sun will arise

And a king will I be, toughened and wise....