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What kind of Affair Guy was your MM


SleekArchitecture

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I started the thread with the intention of something else entirely, but I was not clear with the question. What type of cheater:

 

The revenge or rebellious child cheater the OP has a domineering mother like wife-husband and finds relief by cheating. The revenge secondary to someone who resents their spouse and does it to get back at spouse for not meeting their sexual or emotional needs.

 

 

Cheaper to keep her Cheater The OP is in a relationship they want to leave, but he does not want to part with his money. In their mind they are single, and only married on paper. This also falls under, they do not want to lose their money, friends, extended family, lose the lifestyle.

 

 

Delayed Player Cheater No explanation needed.

 

 

Playing with Fire Cheater This cheater loves the thrill and gets off on deception. These men will bring women home to sleep in the marital bed, he likes danger and the thought of almost getting caught.

 

 

The Exit Affair Cheater this cheater cannot not be in a relationship, is set on getting out of the marriage, and finds someone to leave for.

 

 

Hero Nice Guy Cheater They value being the savior, the damsel in distress. This gives them a feeling of value.

 

 

Professional Cheater A man with money who enjoys his life at home but sets up a calendar of dates, and uses his money to keep everyone on their place. Financially rewards to keep his lifestyle and secret.

 

 

Fetish Cheater cheats with cross dressers and participates in a variety of sexual interests.

 

 

It's only Lust Cheater It feels really intense but at the same time it is the quickest to flame out.

 

 

Just in the Head the emotional cheater, this rarely leads to a sexual encounter.

 

I'd have to say he was a mixture of a couple of these

1. Cheaper to keep her cheater- he doesn't want to lose what all comes with his marriage.

 

2. Exit affair cheater- As I said before, he can't be alone. He put alot of pressure on me to promise I would be with him when he divorced, and that I would wait for him. When I turned all this down, he THEN decided to work on his marriage. He'd rather have something than nothing.

3. Hero nice guy cheater- Loved to impress me, love to take care of me and provide for me. He liked knowing I needed him.

Edited by Riri90
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"Here's what I think - I don't want to try to figure him out anymore. "

 

 

Just to hit like was not enough for that statement,

...thank you...:)

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LifelongCheater
There are many different types of affairs. I could never gain a grasp for the longest time what type the ex was.

 

He is a sub type of a serial cheater. But his serial cheating is long term. He has to have a side relationship in order to endure his marriage. He will likely not stop. There were affairs before me, with me, and I am certain after.

 

A long term band aid. This pretty much sums it up.

 

I'm always whatever the situation calls for. The bad boy missing in her life. The shoulder to cry on missing in her life. The guy that will feed her narcissism and lavish attention on her that she's missing with her husband. Whatever it takes. It's pretty easy actually.

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I started the thread with the intention of something else entirely, but I was not clear with the question. What type of cheater:

 

The revenge or rebellious child cheater the OP has a domineering mother like wife-husband and finds relief by cheating. The revenge secondary to someone who resents their spouse and does it to get back at spouse for not meeting their sexual or emotional needs.

 

 

Cheaper to keep her Cheater The OP is in a relationship they want to leave, but he does not want to part with his money. In their mind they are single, and only married on paper. This also falls under, they do not want to lose their money, friends, extended family, lose the lifestyle.

 

 

Delayed Player Cheater No explanation needed.

 

 

Playing with Fire Cheater This cheater loves the thrill and gets off on deception. These men will bring women home to sleep in the marital bed, he likes danger and the thought of almost getting caught.

 

 

The Exit Affair Cheater this cheater cannot not be in a relationship, is set on getting out of the marriage, and finds someone to leave for.

 

 

Hero Nice Guy Cheater They value being the savior, the damsel in distress. This gives them a feeling of value.

 

 

Professional Cheater A man with money who enjoys his life at home but sets up a calendar of dates, and uses his money to keep everyone on their place. Financially rewards to keep his lifestyle and secret.

 

 

Fetish Cheater cheats with cross dressers and participates in a variety of sexual interests.

 

 

It's only Lust Cheater It feels really intense but at the same time it is the quickest to flame out.

 

 

Just in the Head the emotional cheater, this rarely leads to a sexual encounter.

 

None of these, really. Though perhaps little bits of many.

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SleekArchitecture
I'm always whatever the situation calls for. The bad boy missing in her life. The shoulder to cry on missing in her life. The guy that will feed her narcissism and lavish attention on her that she's missing with her husband. Whatever it takes. It's pretty easy actually.

 

Yes, these pairings are in abundance. I do not care for bad boys really. The definition of nice is much less complicated and refreshing.

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I was not the first notch on his belt, he had physical affairs with 3 or so women before me. I kept it strictly emotional, but that doesn't make it much better. He made it clear he would never leave his family because of his kids, but that he was unhappy. He said he was emotionally very attavhed to me, but he's been through this rodeo before and I think he is very good at compartmentalizing everything. Wish I could do the same.

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Grapesofwrath
Still trying to figure out my MM. Seems to have a good relationship with his wife, but treats me like a queen. Gives me a lot of presents. Spends a lot of money. Spends a lot of time with me. Says I'm his first affair, but I don't believe him. M +20 years. They seem to be getting along just fine. Not sexless, either. So I really don't know.

 

That rings a bell over here, too. Seems to enjoy his marriage. Loves his wife. No interest in finding a way out. Not sexless, though I think the sex is fairly routine (to be expected after 20 years of marriage.) Treats me well. Spends a lot of time with me. Takes care of everything, financially. Says he slept with a few women in the first few years of his marriage, before the kids came. Then nothing for 19 years, and now this.

 

If I was picking from these categories, I'd say a combination of the Hero/Nice Guy and the rebellious child.

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