Eighty_nine Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 How do you differentiate between the two? Let's say you've been wronged etc by previous partners, but your current hasn't done anything to lead you to believe that he's like that. he spends a lot of time with you, is affectionate and supportive, interested in your life, family and friends etc. But there's some sort of feeling like maybe you shouldn't be trusting him. How do you tell the difference between paranoia and intuition? Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I'm a user of Evidence Based Thinking. If there's no evidence of wrongdoing, I'll proceed under the assumption that there is no wrongdoing. I trust my intuition too, but only alongside logical thinking. Logic can fail the test of intuition, and intuition can fail the test of logic. That's why logic and intuition have to agree. That's all I have to offer you on this 4 Link to post Share on other sites
An0nymiss666 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 THANK YOU FOR THIS THREAD! While I still ask this question myself, hopefully I can help at least a little bit. Paranoia would be questioning almost everything he does. Is he really at work? Is he really at the grocery store? Normally you can collect yourself and actually realize that you're just being paranoid. It's kind of difficult to explain. If you think about it you can determine when you're just being paranoid and silly. Paranoia is different from intuition. Intuition will straight up tell you (make you feel) as if something is really wrong, and normally you have a clear reason as to why that is. And who knows, you could be wrong even then. As humans we can't be correct 100% of the time. Maybe it's just my take on it, but my intuition never kicked in without good reason to. Sure, people hide things and it sucks because it makes people prone to paranoia. But there's a difference between being suspicious when he's at work and being suspicious when he's out late, doesn't come home and doesn't talk to you, etc. Essentially what Satu said. If there's no evidence, you can't assume any wrongdoing. This is what I lived by. Towards the end of my last relationship I KNEW something was off. He wasn't as talkative, barely communicated with me, and his behavior and demeanor with me nearly did a 180. His sex drive was different, if it was there at all. Everyone has off-days but this was all of the time. To this day I don't know exactly what happened, but something was going on, whatever it was. I had reason to believe so. Do you have any examples of how you feel when you're either paranoid or being intuitive? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 When their words don't match up with their actions. That's when it's time to leave. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 It's not quite paranoia, and not quite intuition. It's projecting, caused by fear of getting hurt again. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 It's not quite paranoia, and not quite intuition. It's projecting, caused by fear of getting hurt again. I think you're right. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Do you have good intuition in other areas of your life? If so, trust your gut. In the scenario you described, being wronged by past guys is making you paranoid Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 (edited) How do you differentiate between the two? Let's say you've been wronged etc by previous partners, but your current hasn't done anything to lead you to believe that he's like that. he spends a lot of time with you, is affectionate and supportive, interested in your life, family and friends etc. But there's some sort of feeling like maybe you shouldn't be trusting him. How do you tell the difference between paranoia and intuition? You are not ready to be in a new relationship if this is going on. You have not even begun to do any of the processing from the demise of your past relationships. I'm hoping that you don't go from relationship to relationship without having spent any time processing them out first and being on your own til that work is done, because from how you're phrasing your post and question, that's what it sounds like is going on. Using new relationships to distract you from the heavy lifting of sorting a relationship that has ended will do more to stunt your intuition than anything else. You have to deal with the demise, not distract yourself from it because it will wait on you to deal with it--then, you're with someone new and you haven't developed what you need to develop in order to spot the men of whom you need to steer clear. What develops instead is paranoia. Making a new guy own and sort baggage the old guys left is patently unfair. If you're still comparing your exes to your new guy, then you're not over your exes and you need to be by yourself until you no longer have a trigger to regurgitate memories of your exes with a new guy. That is the difference between intuition and paranoia. Edited March 19, 2015 by kendahke 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 How do you differentiate between the two? Let's say you've been wronged etc by previous partners, but your current hasn't done anything to lead you to believe that he's like that. he spends a lot of time with you, is affectionate and supportive, interested in your life, family and friends etc. But there's some sort of feeling like maybe you shouldn't be trusting him. How do you tell the difference between paranoia and intuition? In simpler terms, intuition should give you the sensation that you're being prudent, while paranoia should give you the sensation you're being crazy. So if you start questioning something he does and it makes you feel crazy, you're probably being paranoid. If you feel prudent, you're probably okay. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 There's more fear involved in paranoia. Unless you and others consider yourself a paranoid person in general about all kinds of things, you should listen to that little voice in your head. You can then try to gather evidence if you must, but don't ignore it. However, if every relationship you've had ended because of irrational paranoia, the same fear over and over, then it is at least partially your problem. But remember the old hippie saying: Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean it didn't happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Oh.really. Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 One red flag is just that. An attention getter, pay attention kind of thing. Several? Run!! But seriously, physical evidence is ideal and more painful, ut several red flags means time to re-evaluate the situation. I personally will never understand cheating. Its like wanting the whole pie to themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 (edited) I got diagnosed as schizo affective a lot of that involves delusions hallucinations and paranoia..... a lot of the time my intuition was kicking with my ex he would call me all these names and the common doubt maker was, you are mental you are paranoid ......and turn it back on me....which is rather cruel to do to someone diagnosed with mental illness to cover a lie.... i was unfortunately not mental or paranoid and correct in my intuitive feelings.....and when it couldnt be lied about anymore or twisted back onto me......he became....angry and stopped talking to me..he would ignore me..that was him feeling guilt.....and he was angry i picked his lies every time i guess..... projecting can happen when you have had relationships where your trust was broken and certain instances can trigger memories...doesnt have to be cheating can be abuse or ridicule or whatever...it triggers a memory and that sometimes feels like intuition... paranoia ....to me ...often involves delusional thinking...doesnt have a firm grip on reality and paranoia is fear based.....skin crawling fear...i have been stalked before for instance...and sometimes i feel like i still am .........i have a hard time distinguishing against the three......projection of my feelings onto others...paranoia and ....intuition and or empathy...on good days i get it right.... the easiest way for me to avoid this is to hang with people who are trust worthy....and when i get those doubts.that projection or fear or paranoia..i go back to that logical fact...these people are trustworthy or this person is trustworthy, this person truly loves me.... and has done nothing wrong to me and i have done nothing wrong to them...and that allows me a certain sense of peace no matter what i feel...... i will say paranoia when you are feeling it does not feel like craziness...you feel ...like it is happening you feel ...like it is real...and you feel....out of control..not crazy but not in control...you talk to others and everyone around you cant see what you see.....when those people who truly love you ...are gently telling you no......its not happening ..its ok we will get through this.......you have to listen.you have to believe..its not about prudence or craziness...its fear triggered...and its about trust...and having people you can trust.........deb Edited March 21, 2015 by todreaminblue Link to post Share on other sites
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