what are some of the worst things your AP did?

[Sassy Girl]

To answer your question, to say what you are doing is not evil is a stretch. Does that me that you are not redeemable? Of course not. I feel if anyone else presented your story, you would give them sound advice, maybe even encourage him or her to leave the marriage. IMO, you are one of the smarter/realistic posters on here. I just don't understand why you don't follow the advice you usually give.

 

Haven't you heard? Because I'm a hypocrite of course.

[jbrent890]

Haven't you heard? Because I'm a hypocrite of course.

 

I guess that's that sarcasm. Sassy I have no doubt the day is going to come when you wake up and say that you're better than this. I think that you deserve to be happy single or in another fulfilling relationship with somone that appreciates you. But not at the risk of destroying two families. I know I'm as hard on WSs as the best on this site, but I can honestly say that you are one of the few WSs that I'm not going to give up on here. Whenever youre ready to start making smart decisions, I will be there to root you on.

[RoseVille]

When he called his wife and children in front of me as we were having breakfast together.

 

I'm not bothered or offended by it, but it kinda seemed a bit off to be doing it RIGHT THEN. I don't think he was being malicious or getting some thrill out of it because it isn't his style... I think he's just a bit clueless about how off it is to talk to your wife on the phone while sharing breakfast with your lover after spending he night together. I wouldn't let MM be privy to any of my conversations with my husband or give him a window into my family life. But the more time I spend on these forums the more I realise I seriously compartmentalise my life.

 

But yeah in the grand scheme of things it's not that bad. He's mostly a nice guy. Just a bit entitled.

 

Almost the same thing happened to me. We'd just finished having sex on the couch, and were literally relaxing naked watching TV. He picked up his phone to respond to her texts, right there next to me. There was a <3 next to her name.

 

That killed me.

 

Called him on it, and he said it was a douche move, and that the <3 was just there so she was easy to find in his text cue. Riiiiiight.

[Adoraxx]

Here's one of mine:

 

I had just finished giving the MM his much desired bj (in the bathroom of all places) when the phone rang. MM literally jumped over me (had barely finished ) to pick up the phone. I felt so hurt and humiliated! And then he had the nerve to tell me a few hours later: "I felt sooo guilty that I almost cried after you left". Did he feel guilty for jumping over me and leaving me on that floor?? No of course not. He felt guilty because, well, because he always felt guilty towards W, especially after sex. He was almost crying for her, not me.

 

And then he even had the nerve to get mad at ME once I started to stand up to him and say "No, I won't do this anymore" or "No, you will feel guilty, we have to stop it" or "No, I can't deal with this anymore".

 

It's good to be reminded of this in order to stay strong and to keep saying NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

[Foodjunkie79]

Well heres a few of mine.....

 

 

1) After a trip to Italy, when we were at the airport, I was told to walk behind him 'Just in case' the wife decided to greet him!!!

Also, a day after this trip.....I got a call from him screaming down the phone that I had given him an STD!!! I later got an apology stating the rash he had was probably due to the amount of sex we had whilst away!!!

 

 

2) He told me he was going on a 'Thinking' holiday with his children to decide what he should do about our situation. I later discovered his wife was very much on that holiday too!!

 

 

3) He accidentally sent me a text intended for his wife. It claimed how he wishes he could just be with her 24 hours a day!!!

 

 

4) And on another trip away we were running late for the departures. He asked me for the flight tickets, to which I claimed he never gave me!! He threw his suitcase, screamed at me how it was all my fault....how much the next flight will cost, ranting and raving, screaming and shouting....only then to discover the tickets were in his hand luggage!!! Did I get an apology....NO!! I gota train late at night and ended up sleeping on bench in the station as I refused to go with him after that........and 3 years later im still with the guy!!! Reading that back though.....Jesus!!!

[Adoraxx]

Ughhhhh that's just awful, Foodjunkie!

[Foodjunkie79]

I actually feel sick reading it back tbh!!! And there just the main the ones that stick out.....im sure there are other situations!

[kieraglass]

We were both married. The affair went on two years, and we were deeply in love. He was married twenty six years, me eight. Both of our spouses had rage issues. His marriage was entirely sexless. I wished mine was. When I discovered i was pregnant he was happy, and supportive. He said it was fated, he would deal with the repercussions, and we would be as one, with our baby, and my six year old son. His children are all nearly fledged, two in college, one about to be.

 

I told my husband. It was CHAOS. He kicked me out of our home and made me sleep in my car, because I refused to leave my small son. He drained all the accounts, and I couldn't even go to a hotel. I slept in the driveway, and then my mother took me in one town away.

 

He said he would tell his wife and family and leave by the end of the summer. I got bigger and bigger. Was terrified, alone, dealing with the verbal abuse of my husband and the trauma to my son, who was shocked and scared.

 

In august when I was half term, I went into premature labor and was rushed to the hospital by ambulance. My best friend called him frantic, it was a Friday night, and he said he would come. He never showed up. He said later that the ER officials said I wasn't there, that I wasn't in the system, and he paced downstairs for an hour. My friend called him hysterical, she was taking care of my son, and asked him why he was leaving, I was definitely in labor there, to go back. He told her, simply, "I can't."

 

I guess his excuse time limit with the wife was up.

 

I delivered our little boy alone screaming. He was not yet viable, he was so close, and he died within seconds. I had him cremated and wear some of his ashes around my neck.

 

The next morning, my lover didn't come. I was sure he would. But he didnt.

 

I drove myself home alone doubled over and bleeding copiously. Bawling.

 

I imagine he was scared someone would recognize him at the hospital. He's a bigwig in business, knows so many people. I doubt he even came that night, it being Friday evening, and his wife being home. My friend despises him now. She suspects, being full of hate, that he wasn't in the ER, and was faking it, talking to her from his own damn driveway. He swears he was there, and there was a mistake. I'll never know. But I do know his wife went out the next morning for breakfast with a friend, and he was home alone. He could have come for me, taken me home. He didnt. He said it never even struck him to come, he was so devastated and dumbfounded by what had happened.

 

We're still together. I'm divorced now, living at my mother's. He

is still married. His wife and family know nothing. It's been nine months since the baby died.

 

I love him so very much. And I hate him with a passion.

Edited May 17, 2015 by kieraglass

[Adoraxx]

We were both married. The affair went on two years, and we were deeply in love. He was married twenty six years, me eight. Both of our spouses had rage issues. His marriage was entirely sexless. I wished mine was. When I discovered i was pregnant he was happy, and supportive. He said it was fated, he would deal with the repercussions, and we would be as one, with our baby, and my six year old son. His children are all nearly fledged, two in college, one about to be.

 

I told my husband. It was CHAOS. He kicked me out of our home and made me sleep in my car, because I refused to leave my small son. He drained all the accounts, and I couldn't even go to a hotel. I slept in the driveway, and then my mother took me in one town away.

 

He said he would tell his wife and family and leave by the end of the summer. I got bigger and bigger. Was terrified, alone, dealing with the verbal abuse of my husband and the trauma to my son, who was shocked and scared.

 

In august when I was half term, I went into premature labor and was rushed to the hospital by ambulance. My best friend called him frantic, it was a Friday night, and he said he would come. He never showed up. He said later that the ER officials said I wasn't there, that I wasn't in the system, and he paced downstairs for an hour. My friend called him hysterical, she was taking care of my son, and asked him why he was leaving, I was definitely in labor there, to go back. He told her, simply, "I can't."

 

I guess his excuse time limit with the wife was up.

 

I delivered our little boy alone screaming. He was not yet viable, he was so close, and he died within seconds. I had him cremated and wear some of his ashes around my neck.

 

The next morning, my lover didn't come. I was sure he would. But he didnt.

 

I drove myself home alone doubled over and bleeding copiously. Bawling.

 

I imagine he was scared someone would recognize him at the hospital. He's a bigwig in business, knows so many people. I doubt he even came that night, it being Friday evening, and his wife being home. My friend despises him now. She suspects, being full of hate, that he wasn't in the ER, and was faking it, talking to her from his own damn driveway. He swears he was there, and there was a mistake. I'll never know. But I do know his wife went out the next morning for breakfast with a friend, and he was home alone. He could have come for me, taken me home. He didnt. He said it never even struck him to come, he was so devastated and dumbfounded by what had happened.

 

We're still together. I'm divorced now, living at my mother's. He

is still married. His wife and family know nothing. It's been nine months since the baby died.

 

I love him so very much. And I hate him with a passion.

 

((((((((((((((((((((( Kiera ))))))))))))))))))))))))))) So sad for you!! HUGS

[m4p]

We were both married. The affair went on two years, and we were deeply in love. He was married twenty six years, me eight. Both of our spouses had rage issues. His marriage was entirely sexless. I wished mine was. When I discovered i was pregnant he was happy, and supportive. He said it was fated, he would deal with the repercussions, and we would be as one, with our baby, and my six year old son. His children are all nearly fledged, two in college, one about to be.

 

I told my husband. It was CHAOS. He kicked me out of our home and made me sleep in my car, because I refused to leave my small son. He drained all the accounts, and I couldn't even go to a hotel. I slept in the driveway, and then my mother took me in one town away.

 

He said he would tell his wife and family and leave by the end of the summer. I got bigger and bigger. Was terrified, alone, dealing with the verbal abuse of my husband and the trauma to my son, who was shocked and scared.

 

In august when I was half term, I went into premature labor and was rushed to the hospital by ambulance. My best friend called him frantic, it was a Friday night, and he said he would come. He never showed up. He said later that the ER officials said I wasn't there, that I wasn't in the system, and he paced downstairs for an hour. My friend called him hysterical, she was taking care of my son, and asked him why he was leaving, I was definitely in labor there, to go back. He told her, simply, "I can't."

 

I guess his excuse time limit with the wife was up.

 

I delivered our little boy alone screaming. He was not yet viable, he was so close, and he died within seconds. I had him cremated and wear some of his ashes around my neck.

 

The next morning, my lover didn't come. I was sure he would. But he didnt.

 

I drove myself home alone doubled over and bleeding copiously. Bawling.

 

I imagine he was scared someone would recognize him at the hospital. He's a bigwig in business, knows so many people. I doubt he even came that night, it being Friday evening, and his wife being home. My friend despises him now. She suspects, being full of hate, that he wasn't in the ER, and was faking it, talking to her from his own damn driveway. He swears he was there, and there was a mistake. I'll never know. But I do know his wife went out the next morning for breakfast with a friend, and he was home alone. He could have come for me, taken me home. He didnt. He said it never even struck him to come, he was so devastated and dumbfounded by what had happened.

 

We're still together. I'm divorced now, living at my mother's. He

is still married. His wife and family know nothing. It's been nine months since the baby died.

 

I love him so very much. And I hate him with a passion.

 

 

 

GOD.... This makes me sick.. I am so so so sorry for you and your baby boy. I wish I can give you a hug now. And I wish I can give you strength to know that you deserve SO MUCH MORE. So much more than this. God.

[minimariah]

I love him so very much. And I hate him with a passion.

 

oh, sweetheart...

 

i think my heart just broke.

 

 

sending you a lot of positive vibes, i wish you nothing but the best.