Mr. Goodheart Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 So, I was married roughly 10 years, only to get divorced last march. There was no evil hateful divorce, it was civil and kind. Both of us were 100% faithful. We had been separated for a few months and shortly after the divorce things by chance happened upon a romantic path rekindled. Things were juicy and on fire, like when we first met. She went to visit family out of the country though and when she returned, things went back to absent. As a person she is really a nice person, we work well together and I can't say much bad about her, nor will I. But now things are back to the same old loveless tolerance that they were before she divorced me. I feel like we are together for the sake of our child only. I enjoy providing my child with a loving family but unfortunately I still believe in a fairy-tale romance. I also feel like she is very jealous and untrusting all the time, suffocating my thirst for friends and freedom and causing me some serious depression. I don't mean that in a bad way. In a certain light I think it cute and flattering, but honestly it's not working, but without a real solid reason I have a hard time drawing a line. I love her, but not -in love with- her. However I love my son and family and don't want to lose that. It is a difficult decision for me and my ex-wife and I just do not communicate well at all. Any advice? I feel like my life is turning into an old country song. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Both of us were 100% faithful. She went to visit family out of the country though and when she returned, things went back to absent. Uh huh... I also feel like she is very jealous and untrusting all the time, suffocating my thirst for friends and freedom and causing me some serious depression. Emotionally abusive people sometimes attempt to isolate their partners. And sometimes cheaters project their behavior on their partner, thinking they'll cheat around just like they do. I smell a rat. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 And sometimes cheaters project their behavior on their partner, thinking they'll cheat around just like they do. I smell a rat. Had the same thought, it's telling she came back in a much different frame of mind. Do you have any idea of her activities while gone? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr. Goodheart Posted March 20, 2015 Author Share Posted March 20, 2015 I do not believe she has ever cheated on me. I can't say that I know it for fact, but I do not suspect it. Do you think, perhaps it could be that she feels guilty for divorcing me? There is no flame at all. Our long term goals are very contrary. Our perspectives on life are just as opposite. I think she is just coming to that realization that getting divorced may have been the right choice even though it feels wrong because there was no cataclysmic nor catastrophic cheating event or argument nor reason other than the love just faded away. Link to post Share on other sites
fireflywy Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 I recommend reading "The Five Love Languages" and then speaking to a counselor. The book describes the love, but not "in-love" scenario. In short, things CAN be fixed if you're BOTH willing to take a shot. Link to post Share on other sites
fireflywy Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 (edited) Wait a minute, you're divorced? If you are, there really isn't any "cheating." In the end, you just have to engage her directly and ask what's up on the rekindling front. Edited March 22, 2015 by fireflywy Link to post Share on other sites
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