Southern Sun Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Poof. Gone. I finally deleted it today. There has been no contact for 14 days. This was the final door I needed to close. I had left the account open after our official goodbye, "just in case." It's so weird. It feels great knowing that it's gone, that he can't reach out to me secretly, that I can't be burdened with that anymore, then deal with the anxiety of figuring out whether to respond or how to respond. It's also disturbing to know how much I relied on it, how often I turned to it. Even after we said goodbye, I checked it every now and then...just to make sure there was no emergency or something. I knew he wouldn't email, nor would I. It was a crutch. I had this realization just now that even that little outlet is no longer. It's a good thing. Walk on, Southern. Walk on. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Blu72 Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 That's a giant step, good for you! I congratulate you in your strength toward freedom. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GoldieLox Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 That's a really good thing to hear. We often do little things to "keep doors open", whether we realize it or not. I caught myself doing this several times until I realized I was slowly losing my sanity. Good job 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Poof. Gone. I finally deleted it today. There has been no contact for 14 days. This was the final door I needed to close. I had left the account open after our official goodbye, "just in case." It's so weird. It feels great knowing that it's gone, that he can't reach out to me secretly, that I can't be burdened with that anymore, then deal with the anxiety of figuring out whether to respond or how to respond. It's also disturbing to know how much I relied on it, how often I turned to it. Even after we said goodbye, I checked it every now and then...just to make sure there was no emergency or something. I knew he wouldn't email, nor would I. It was a crutch. I had this realization just now that even that little outlet is no longer. It's a good thing. Walk on, Southern. Walk on. That's a powerful step. Have you fully burnt all the bridges? No other way for him to get through to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Southern Sun Posted March 20, 2015 Author Share Posted March 20, 2015 That's a powerful step. Have you fully burnt all the bridges? No other way for him to get through to you? I changed my "public" email after D Day and all he had was the secret one; that is deleted. I blocked his number and we are not connected on any social media. He does know where I live, so I can't totally hide from him. But he wouldn't be real smart to show up here... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Josmatjes Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I'm so happy for you. I never blocked my xmm cause we just went no contact and I knew he wouldn't text. Well Monday morning he texted me and I felt all those awful anxiety feelings again. I am going to block him now because it's not right that he thinks he can walk through the door anytime he pleases. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sunburned Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 As goldie lox said, i think it's human nature to keep the door open a crack after an A you didn't really want to end. That you only kept it that way for 14 days is pretty admirable. Well done, Southern! I have been NC for more than a year and a half. I have zero interest in speaking to him now or ever. I didn't block b/c if his W ever found out, I wanted him to be able to tell me in a hurry. Maybe that sounds lame, but that's the truth of it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hope Shimmers Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Congratulations Southern... that is absolutely huge. A really big step and it had to be hard to do. Kudos to you - 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Well done, that's a huge vote of confidence in yourself. Walk on into the sunshine. Link to post Share on other sites
SolG Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I changed my "public" email after D Day and all he had was the secret one; that is deleted. I blocked his number and we are not connected on any social media. He does know where I live, so I can't totally hide from him. But he wouldn't be real smart to show up here... Oh crap! You've just reminded me that my xMM has a key to my apartment and security swipe tag for my building. Best I be getting those back! I think you're doing amazingly Southern. Congrats :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts