stormcloud0217 Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 So I have this friend...lets call him D. We met in the beginning of the month when our mutual friend started hitting on me and introduced me to all of his friends. D and I hit it off in an incredible way LAST WEEK. seriously. Last week we ran into each other and he invited me to his dorm for like 15 minutes to watch a video. 15 minutes turned into 2 hours. Then at the end of the week I went over... and stayed for 11 hours. That was Saturday. On Saturday he complimented me a bunch and we talked and watched youtube and played music. That is it. He said that even though we just met he views me as a friend. A good one. We've seen each other every day but Sunday all week, due to his friend causing some drama. He has been complimenting me but we keep mentioning friendship. And he says that he is friends with someone first before dating. And they make the move. I don't know how to make this move... I don't know how to turn this into more..so help? Please? Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 LAST WEEK. I don't know how to make this move... I don't know how to turn this into more..so help? Please? Why the rush? Just enjoy making friends with a new person. Since he has made a point of telling you that you're a friend, you should accept that for now. Also keep in mind that when he mentioned that he likes to be friends with people before dating them and that he likes for them to make the first move, he wasn't necessarily dropping a hint. Maybe he was just making conversation. I wouldn't take it as an invitation to make a move, anyway. Get to know him for a while. Give us an update in a few weeks if things are still confusing. I'm betting that by then you'll have a much better idea of where you two are heading. Have fun! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I never understood the friends 1st dynamic. However, this man is not your friend. At best he's a new acquaintance. You haven't known him long enough to be a friend. Also it's not platonic. You want him to be your BF. Describing him as your friend misuses the word. Rant over . . . . Do you ever go to parties together? If so, ask him to slow dance. At the end of some night before you part, reach over & give him a small kiss / peck. Touch him more often when you see him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stormcloud0217 Posted March 20, 2015 Author Share Posted March 20, 2015 I could be misreading it. I'll just keep it cool and be friendly. I do believe that we are friends but yes, I think I'll wait until we get closer. He is definitely a fast friend if there ever was one, but yeah, I think I'll just enjoy how it is now. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
imtooconfused Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I never understood the friends 1st dynamic. Honestly, I don't understand how you can expect to have a relationship as BF/GF before getting to know someone as a friend. Are you saying that "hookups first" leads to healthy relationships? My advice is to build the friendship as deep as he will allow and the romantic opportunities will present themselves at the right time. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Honestly, I don't understand how you can expect to have a relationship as BF/GF before getting to know someone as a friend. Are you saying that "hookups first" leads to healthy relationships? My advice is to build the friendship as deep as he will allow and the romantic opportunities will present themselves at the right time. No that is not what I am saying. They get built simultaneously. If I want to date somebody I want kisses & hugs & cuddles & eventually sex. I'm not going to sit around for months years, denying myself those tactile things while I grow a platonic friendship, then try to make into something else. When I look at guy I knew whether I wanted to date him. Granted that was on superficial looks alone but if I liked that, I'd go on a date & build a romance. There are elements of friendship in that but if I wasn't interested in romance, I can build a friendship in a group setting. The full-on sex came later (most times) but I never was buddy buddy with some guy then tried to turn it into a romance. The dates were get to know you activities that involved conversations and an exploration of the other person's views on a variety of subjects. Most of the time if I guy couldn't hold my interest in a conversation, it didn't matter how attractive, I wasn't going to find out the more physical sides. There were times when I didn't care about the intellectual side but those were short lived & predominately when I was young & dumb. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts