Mixed signals/wishful thinking?

[picnicinthepark]

It's been over a year since the bu and I'm in town for a few weeks dogsitting for a relative. The last time I saw my ex was at a friend's party this past Halloween. We chatted then and made plans to make plans but nothing came of it.

 

So last week I decide to message her to make plans. She was happy to hear from me and we made plans to go rock climbing. It was a very nervy situation for the both of us especially since our last encounter involved some liquid courage and a more familiar environment. I think it went well and we had fun. Just caught up a little but nothing really new from when we last spoke on Halloween.

 

The odd thing was that there were moments she would let out an inside joke/mannerism (out of habit?) and it felt so familiar yet so foreign at the same time. I'm not sure if I explained that well enough. It really felt like we were hanging out like we used to. It was nice to see her smile and laugh again.

 

I wanted to ask her if she was seeing anyone but the opportunity did not present itself. I'm still not sure what my intentions are. Tbh I think there is a part of me that resents her for the bu but we have so much history that I will always care for her. Not necessarily in a romantic way but I do think about her from time to time and miss her.

 

I've dated a bit but I can honestly say that this was just a meaningless distraction. I think I may still be holding on to the idea of us getting back together...

 

After rock climbing I dropped her off (she still lives at our old apt) and we hugged. She thanked me for the night and told me how nice it was to see me and that she hopes to see me again soon (just being polite?). Later on that night she texts me along the same lines. I tell her that it was great to see her, we should hangout again soon and that I miss her (felt like I should have done this in person). She responds saying we should definitely hangout soon and that she misses having me in her life.

 

Any thoughts? We've been texting (small talk) but she's flakey with her responses. I'm confused. I'm not getting my hopes up I just don't like playing games.

[Satu]

Nobody knows what the future will be.

 

If you see each other and can stay in the moment, just enjoying each others company, only good will come of it.

 

Quote from my journal:

 

"Only give the best of yourself to others. Work on the less than best in your own time."

 

Live in the moment.

[lolablue17]

I think that if you hangs out with her some more, you'll get your answers. She doesn't want to expose her intentions, because it's a delicate matter. it's natural, you do the same.

 

If she's seeing someone she must find a way to tell you that in the next meeting, otherwise she's a bitch.

[Simon Phoenix]

Well you have to figure out what you want first. Do you want her as a girlfriend, as a buddy, or do you really not care either way? If it's girlfriend or bust, then you have to treat her like anyone else you'd date. If it's the other two, do what Satu said and just go with the flow.

 

Honestly, I think she sees you as a friend, but that's not necessarily the worst thing in the world if you can handle just being her friend. If you can, anything that develops from there can develop organically. A lot of relationships start out that way. However, if you are looking to pretend to be a "friend" as an attempt to make her your girlfriend, I'd nip this in the bud right now, because it's not going to end well.

 

In general, you need to figure out your intentions before worrying about hers.

[picnicinthepark]

Thanks for your input guys. We hung out again today. She met me at the park this evening and we walked the dog and talked for a little bit before dinner - basically just filling each other in about our weekends.

 

Conversation flowed well during dinner and we mostly talked about our recent travels, our careers, and where we see ourselves in the near future. A few specific memories from our past were brought up during our conversation and it was bitter sweet. Again, I did not get an opportunity to ask if she was seeing anyone (I don't believe she is). After dinner I waited for the streetcar with her. I told her how happy I was that we're able to hang out again. She agreed and said she was glad I reached out and we reconnected after all this time. We locked eyes for a moment but it felt like forever. The streetcar arrived and we made plans to make plans and hugged goodbye.

 

I'm beginning to think my intentions may be beyond friendship. I'm going to take a step back and think about what I want. I'm afraid I won't hear from her again.