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"It (an affair) just happened"


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Between stimulus and response, there is space

In that space is our power

To choose our response.

In our response

Lies our growth

And our freedom

 

Viktor E. Frankl

 

Happened across this great quote. Hope it will strike a chord with those for whom it is not too late. For others (myself included), a reminder there was always a choice. There still is.

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I really like Covey's use of this concept in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. He places as a fundamental of the habit of being proactive.

 

“Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose.

 

Within the freedom to choose and those endowments that make us uniquely human.* In addition to self-awareness, we have imagination–the ability to create in our minds beyond our present reality.* We have conscience–a deep inner awareness of right and wrong, of the principles that govern our behavior, and a sense of the degree to which our thoughts and actions are in harmony with them.* And we have independent will–the ability to act based on our self-awareness, free of all other influences.

 

Our unique human endowments lift us above the animal world.* The extent to which we exercise and develop these endowments empowers us to fulfill our uniquely human potential.* Between stimulus and response is our greatest power–the freedom to choose.”

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An affair doesn't just happen...ever.

 

Choices are made to allow it.

 

Often planning and plotting happen - time and energy focused on the cheating.

 

It doesn't just happen. Nobody trips and lands on a penis... That would be the only way it could "just happen"... And it doesn't work like that.

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An affair doesn't just happen...ever.

 

Choices are made to allow it.

 

Often planning and plotting happen - time and energy focused on the cheating.

 

It doesn't just happen. Nobody trips and lands on a penis... That would be the only way it could "just happen"... And it doesn't work like that.

 

Aaah, if penises were only available for me to trip and land on!!!:p

 

I think the issue is, it sorta "happens" cuz people put themselves in situations that lead to attachments...

 

Like if you have a co-worker and you start noticing you both are feeling attraction, you have to limit your time spent together. No going to lunches, no coffee talk, etc. But no, people don't take precaution and before you know it, someone is trippin on a penis!!! Or, falling and landing between spread open legs!!!

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SearchingForMyself

Oh everyone of our exes at least once said "it just happened"

 

So cheating lying and risking an std while you reap the benefits just happens too?

 

Talk about immature. You expect this behavior out of children but cheaters want the mature benefits without the mature work and then absolve themselves of any guilt by making themselves seem out of control of their actions, when they put themselves in that situation.

 

The difference between humans and animals is our free will to act against instinct. It is what made us superior in the animal kingdom. Guess some people didn't evolve that far.

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Even a mistake is a choice. A wrong choice, but still a choice.

Of course no sane WW trying to gaslight their BS would admit that though. Remember, their goal is to talk BS into staying, not scare them further away. An open hand makes it harder to notice the dagger behind your back, you know.

 

 

Guess some people didn't evolve that far.

 

"Some"? That puts it nicely.

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