Went from hardly wanting sex to wanting it all the time, like a light switch...?

[Teacup_Sunshine]

Hi all,

In my previous thread, I wrote about how my fiance rarely wanted sex, and whenever we did have sex, it was at my initiation, but I would get a "not tonight" a lot.

Well, that went on for about 10 months.

This week has been different though...he's wanted it EVERY day. He initiates. He is passionate, just like it used to be.

A month ago, he started a new job. it is 3rd shift, so he works from 10pm-8am. I work from 8:30 am-5 pm. So we have from 5:30 - 9pm together Monday-Thursday, then we have the whole weekends together.

Last night, out of curiosity, I asked him what is causing him to be so horny like this all of a sudden.

He said he has been masturbating every morning when he gets home, then sleeps right after (he sleeps from when he gets home in the morning until around when I get home in the afternoon)

I thought that was kind of odd, because I'd think that'd cause him to have less desire, but whatever works.

He also said maybe it's because we're not together as much anymore, and he misses me. I don't know.

He's also started reading erotica again (he used to a lot, then kind of stopped for most of those 10 months) He's also back to trying to find sex apps that we can do together and just different sexual ideas to try.

 

Is that normal? It was like a light switch practically. 3 weeks ago if I tried coming onto him, I probably would've gotten a no, but now everyday this week he's been wanting me.

 

Just fyi I am in no way, shape or form complaining....just trying to figure this out.

 

 

Thanks all

[Popsicle]

Maybe it's the porn. He watches more of it now, and luckily for you, it causes him to want to be with you more, rather than the typical opposite of it causing him to want to be with you less.

[devilish innocent]

Two thoughts come to mind.

1) Men tend to be horny when they're first waking up. He's waking up at times that you're available, so that might be helping.

2) It might be related to the erotica he reads. The reason I say this is because I've gone through something similar. I can have a low sex drive for a long period of time, but then if I come across a great sex story, it can change that for a week or two. All of you have to do is remember the story to turn yourself right back on, so you find yourself being horny all the time.

[Sunlight72]

I'm a guy, and for me sleep is a big deal, and many days when I wake up is the most fun sex time. So your guy's sleep schedule could be a big deal, but listen to him - having some mental erotic stimulation is revving his libido when he's with you.

 

I am affected like Popsicle and innocent say - a modest amount of masturbating to porn or reading erotica kind of keeps my libido charged up. I'm plenty turned on and attracted to my long-term girlfriend, but since we spend so much time doing daily co-worker stuff and coördinating her kids' schedules, when I see her I mainly have learned that I need to be a helpful co-worker partner, not Sexy Stud Man.

 

I can tell a difference when I don't read it/see it for more than a week (?) - I just get more focused on work and chores and less on intimacy.

 

After spending the whole day concentrating on work and being a helpful co-worker with her, there's not really a great way to switch to sexy time. But, if I'm reminded (with erotica or porn) that I'm a sexual guy (and I know already that she's a sexual woman), somehow it's more fun to see her with veiled desire through the day and turn it up at night.

 

Also, now that I think about it, this might be why just after waking up is a good time - we haven't had time to talk for hours about the day's work schedule, what are we doing for dinner, who's going to the grocery store, blah, blah, blah. I just wake up and she's there and beautiful - let me at ya!

[Clockwork]

I agree, the wake up could have a lot to do with it. The extra hop in my step I always seem to have with morning sex is noticeable. The pre-work sex just before you shower in the morning is always some of the best. If a man has morning wood and you are lying next to him, look out.

 

 

So that might be it.

[TheGuard13]

I would like to point that it is approaching Spring. And as the poets say:

 

"Ah, Spring, when a young man's fancy turns to (insert inappropriate imagery)".