katiegrl Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Originally Posted by katiegrl Bad comparison. "In sickness and in health" is a *marriage" vow. They are dating! Big difference! I have. I just thought that by saying the above, you were implying that whilst dating, partners have no obligation to care for one another as they have not committed yet. And whilst technically that is true, in reality, good relationships sail gradually towards marriage and it's not about signing that piece of paper to say you have committed In a dating relationship, I don't think anyone should feel "obligated" to do anything, including whiping someone's "backside" or "managing their vomit," as another poster so eloquently posted earlier. It's a personal choice whether they are comfortable doing that ... or anything else... or not. This is the time when they are or should be assessing how compatible they are for a long term commitment, i.e. marriage or living together if they don't believe in marriage. While dating, if one partner is unhappy or dissatisfied with the other's personal choice in any given situation, then they either learn to accept it, or if they can't, they are free to leave....as well they should if a need that is important to them isn't being met. Once they determine they are compatible, and agree to live together or marry, that is when certain obligations and responsibilities come into play. JMO....
katiegrl Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 If you were puking I would sleep on the couch!! In sickness and in health means you will love the person not be stupid about potentially catching the pukes!! It's not like being abandoned. She just kept her distance for fear of catching it. I totally can relate. And I do think you are being selfish only thinking of yourself when she could have caught it! Man up!!! SOme guys are such wusses when sick. ^^Best post so far...well said! 1
guest569 Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 I've had my fair share or puking episodes. If symptoms persist after a few days, see your GP. Drink lots of water. Very good hygiene, dont pass it on. My ex was pretty insensitive. Had a loved one tragically pass away and he wasn't there for me. I think people either are caring or they're not. I agree with smackie, i dont think its something to breakup over (in this case, toughen up!!) but be aware that it may be a compatibility issue if you feel like she's not there for you enough in other aspects.
c22 Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 In the circumstances, it would have been nice to receive a sympathy text at the time, and one the next morning when she woke up asking if you were feeling any better, but that's it. Asking any more of her was unreasonable, especially given her early start for work the next day. Frankly, I wouldn't expect my BF to physically come over unless I was hospitalised for more than 24 hours. 1
Teraskas Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 (edited) As others have suggested, a compatibility issue is at hand. Although it cannot be compared, a somewhat similar experience came to mind: Back in a previous relationship of mine, I was driving home after a morning in college. She didn't have any classes and instead opted to go shopping with several of her friends. I was about 3 kilometers away from her place. I arrived at a crossroads, and wanted to go right. (This crossroads was part of a discontinued road. An optimistic estimate: only about 6 cars pass there on a weekly basis.) Looked both left and right as I always did, and drove off. Yet, as I was taking off I heard an engine heavily revving out of nowhere. Noticed another car in the corner of my eye. That car was driving much faster than the 30 Mph speed limit. If I had to guess, the driver was easily doing 45, maybe 50 Mph miliseconds later he slammed into my driver side door. I'm still having a tough time remembering what happened next, but I vaguely remember being ejected from the car and hitting a tree. Waking up face down in grass after having been unconscious for about a good 10-15 minutes. (Ironically, I managed to remember that because the 12 'o clock news had been on for around 2 minutes or so. xD ) I was bleeding badly from lacerations. The other driver was nowhere to be seen, unfortunately yet another one of those hit and run types. :/ Reached for my phone and called my gf. Pure luck that I had her on speed dial under favourites at the time. She picked up, but immediately said: "I'm out shopping with my friends, don't bother me." and hung up before I could even say anything. I decided to call her first to explain the situation, and because she might've been able to tell me which number I was supposed to call. Trouble is that Belgium doesn't have a standardized 911 number. Instead, you have: (I had to look these up lol.) 100: Which is apparently both Firefighting and Medical, 101: Police, 112: General stuff. For the life of me, I could not remember which number it was and due to bloodloss and confusion I had a tough time staying awake. Pure luck that a cylist passed 5 minutes later who managed to provide the support I required. Ambulance arrived and I was sent off to hospital. She was pissed because I didn't reply to her texts all afternoon. xD Explained the situation via text when I was feeling better, yet she didn't even bother to visit me in hospital, heh. Not saying she HAD to be there, but it certainly would've been appreciated. Only so much I could do. The creepy part ? The cylist told me he heard eerie silent whispers coming from my part of the crossroad. I could genuinely see fear in his eyes as told this to me. Oh well, always knew I had a Dark Side Sorcery streak going in me. xD Edited March 22, 2015 by Teraskas Spelling and layout 1
orangetree Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 I understand both sides. You had food poisoning, you weren't VERY SICK as you said. Everyone has food poisoning once in a while, I actually had it just two weeks ago. My boyfriend was there because we live together, but even if he weren't I wouldn't mind, because all I did was throwing up all night, he couldn't have helped my with that anyway. I knew it's just gonna take a few hours of throwing up and I'll be fine. There is no need to go to an ER for food poisoning. You sound a bit like a hypochondriac, sorry. On the other hand, I understand that you wanted her to be there for you. If I was your gf and you told me you needed me (even though I thought you're exaggerating a bit with your sickness) I would have gone to your place to be there. 1
Author free_radicals Posted March 23, 2015 Author Posted March 23, 2015 Appreciate all the comments from everyone. We managed to talk it out yesterday. There was just some misunderstandings and assumptions made. We agreed to not argue in the future, rather wait until a day or two, after any incident so that we are thinking rationally when problem solving instead of blaming each other. Kind of like having someone walk away (but come back later) in an in-person argument so terrible things aren't said. We agreed that this would be a stupid reason to break up over, given we're happy and dandy over 98% of the time. It's just that in heat of the moment we both felt like "f it I don't need this", but then you come to your senses a day or two after. BTW we're actually super compatible in almost every other aspect. This happens to be just one of those differences we have. But we decided to accept our differences and move forward.
Els Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 I never had food poisoning before, so really I didn't know what to expect. When you're sick, you really don't want to be looking things up. The internet should not be used as a self-diagnosis tool IMO. Sure the internet shouldn't be used as a self-diagnosis tool, but your gf isn't going to be of any more use than the internet in the diagnosis department. I'll be honest - I would be there for my SO in that situation, and yes, he has been there for me as well. But 1) I don't leave salads on the counter for 3.5 hours before eating them, and 2) IMO your initial post strikes me as rather over-dramatic. Most people, especially if they have spent any time at all in a developing country, have eaten bad food and gotten sick before. It usually takes a lot more than that to be serious enough to be life-threatening. And IF it was life-threatening, you would need to call emergency services anyway. I do think your gf should have gone to be with you, but I also think you should have been more sensible in your food preparation/hygiene. 1
Frank2thepoint Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 "This is you being needy. I can't stand needy. You were acting like a big baby". She is angry with you, and emotional abusing you, for requesting her to be supportive. She's not long term material. I recommend breaking up with her. 1
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