salparadise Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 I have a date tonight, first date with this lady and we have not met in person (I know, doing it anyway). We're having dinner at a blues club. The only thing that would seem completely out of place would be to over do it. I'm late 50s and she's mid 40s, attorney, prestigious job, lived in NY and Paris, etc. I just don't know what she's thinking, but my guess is pant suit or slacks and nice blouse. I'd like to be in the upper mid-range but I don't have a ton of options. It's too warm for sweaters. I think it comes down to blazer with nice shirt and jeans, slacks and nice shirt w/ no jacket, or a medium gray suit w/ either an open collar dress shirt or lightweight mock turtle (which could be too warm). I'm inclined to go for the suit and dress it down. I don't want to ask her what she's wearing- too awkward at this point. Attorneys are sharp dressers, generally speaking, but she may not be in that mode at all. Suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 I think the best option would be a suit accessorized with some modern accessories, a little edgy, a colorful shirt under dark suit or black shirt under lighter suit. No to the mock turtleneck, I think. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 Personally, I don't care how a man dresses, as long as his clothes are clean and not ripped to shreds. Jeans and a clean shirt would be fine! Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 How do you normally dress? You don`t want her to think you`ll turn up every time in a succession of Ted Baker suits. However, how you described her i would go along with preraph suggestion. GL. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 Blazer & open necked shirt over jeans with real shoes is perfect. You can't go wrong dressing like a NYer or Parisian, where casual is still more dressed up than most of the rest of the world. lol Don't wear a blouse unless you are a cross dresser & she knows this going in. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 tailored shirt with black pants. dark shoes of good quality with dark socks. a light hint of cologne, and a nice watch. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 Don't wear a blouse unless you are a cross dresser & she knows this going in. I amend my previous statement to include blouses. I'd really like it if a man I'm dating chose not to wear those. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 Blazer & open necked shirt over jeans with real shoes is perfect. You can't go wrong dressing like a NYer or Parisian, where casual is still more dressed up than most of the rest of the world. lol Don't wear a blouse unless you are a cross dresser & she knows this going in. I'm in the UK and I like a nice white long sleeved shirt untucked and a good pair of blue jeans on a man. With good black shoes. (none should be worn out or falling apart). And d0nnivain...I am beginning to 'get' that casual is more dressed up in the US. Sometimes it's a shame - the guys over here need higher standards than sweats and an egg stained un-ironed t-shirt.... OP...I would go with d0nn's suggestion. I like the nice watch idea too. Have fun! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 And d0nnivain...I am beginning to 'get' that casual is more dressed up in the US. Sometimes it's a shame - the guys over here need higher standards than sweats and an egg stained un-ironed t-shirt.... Sadly, you are misinformed. They dress more like slobs here too. I would venture to say when I have been in the UK, the men seemed more dressed up. Major cities in the Northeast from say DC to Boston you will get a cosmopolitan feel. Every place else, your lucky if the jeans & shirt are clean & he wore his "good" sneakers. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 Every place else, your lucky if the jeans & shirt are clean & he wore his "good" sneakers. With my ex it was a struggle to get him to look like he didn't just roll out of bed. He'd say "But I DID just roll out of bed". Too small t-shirt with something dribbled down the front, too small pajama pants with a hole in the butt. His 2 favorite garments. ALWAYS wearing them. Requesting that he change into something else before we go to the store would cause a fight. Link to post Share on other sites
Hope Shimmers Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 Hmmm... just because she's an attorney, does that mean she dresses like one when not on the job? For a nice night out I dress more sexy than a pantsuit or blouse, but still tasteful. I would think she might too. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 I think I dislike the word pantsuit. I don't know why. Sal, please come back and tell us how it went! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author salparadise Posted March 22, 2015 Author Share Posted March 22, 2015 Hey everyone, thanks for the input and comments. The date was good- food, music and company all great. She's easy to talk to, attractive, intelligent and comfortable. No red flags aside from the fact that we are very different, which we both knew beforehand. I like dating people of different backgrounds... it's like we somehow arrived at the same place via very different routes. I think we are both are open to new and different. Not sure if we'll go out again... maybe. I wore the gray suit which was a bit too much for the occasion. She had on a cotton print skirt and top with a slight bohemian feel (very appropriate). I need to pull a few pieces together to fill the gap between completely casual and dressy- suits are dressy in this neck of the woods no matter how hard you try to tone it down. A couple of blazers with interesting colors and textures that pair with jeans will be a good start. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
zebracolors Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 I agree with Phoe, to a point. I don't mean each piece has to be tailored to the guy, but as long as the clothes seem to fit his body type well, whether its a semi-formal blazer or button up shirt and pants. Just seems like that would be more comfortable to the guy than clothes that are too small. And I couldn't be picky about his sense of style, but of course the clothes should definitely fit the occasion. Whether we realize it or not, people do kind of judge us by our clothes in the sense of how the clothing adds to the whole package. And I think it goes for men and women to, for the most part, dress in a way appropriate for your age. Thats not to say you have to keep it conservative after age 35. There is still lots of ways adults can dress "sexy" and flattering but still appropriate for adults. Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 Casual pants with a nice untucked shirt and coat are great, with whatever shoes suit the occasion. You can never go wrong with that, it's suitable for almost anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author salparadise Posted March 22, 2015 Author Share Posted March 22, 2015 Whether we realize it or not, people do kind of judge us by our clothes in the sense of how the clothing adds to the whole package. And I think it goes for men and women to, for the most part, dress in a way appropriate for your age. Absolutely! People who can't or won't dress appropriately aren't taken seriously. I'm of an age where it's expected, and dating is pretty much pointless if we look clueless. I've never been a fashionista, and I don't strive to become one, but I do intend to dress well (age appropriate) and yesterday was an eye-opener. I need to plan out some options for the in-between occasions. When I was married my ex did a lot of that for me. I have some nice suits and plenty of very casual clothes, but the in-between stuff takes more thought and creativity. @regine_phalange I'm in my late 50s. Untucked ain't happening. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Glad it went well Sal! I shall keep fingers crossed for date 2! I would go shopping though if you have nothing in between. Like others have said a nice shirt and blazer works really well. Have you got a friend who is a sharp dresser that you can ask for help? Link to post Share on other sites
Author salparadise Posted March 24, 2015 Author Share Posted March 24, 2015 I would go shopping though if you have nothing in between. Like others have said a nice shirt and blazer works really well. Have you got a friend who is a sharp dresser that you can ask for help? I intend to put together a few options with sport jackets and jeans. I don't have anyone to take me shopping but I'll be able to figure it out. I'm going to check out the thrift stores first. It's really just a matter of finding jackets from medium to lightish grays or browns with some texture that fit well. Then a few shirts to pull it all together. I also need a new pair of shoes (desperately). My previous girlfriend offered to go shopping with me and I wish I had taken her up on it- she used to make costumes in Hollywood, so she knows clothes. Of course she would've expected me to be obedient and defer completely, something of which I'm probably not capable. It would be fun to have some expert help though. Taking applications Jackets Shoes There's a difference between blazers and sport jackets- I like patterns and textures, so going for sports jackets Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 Bet you will look scrummy! Now I want to date you!!! lol You have better taste in clothes than I do!!! Perhaps I should start reading Cosmo or something, Farmers Weekly and Horse and Hound don't have fashion sections... Link to post Share on other sites
anduina Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 Consider wearing cardigans instead of suit jackets. They've been back in style for many years. http://timelessgent.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Shawl-Cardigan.png Link to post Share on other sites
Author salparadise Posted March 26, 2015 Author Share Posted March 26, 2015 Consider wearing cardigans instead of suit jackets. They've been back in style for many years. I like cardigans, and they work nicely for fall and winter. Of course it's springtime in the northern hemisphere right now, so need lightweight, lighter colors. Thinking silk herringbone in light gray or tan. You realize that suit jackets, blazers and sports jackets are distinctly different, doncha? Suit jackets only work as a suit. Blazers are usually navy with contrasting buttons and smooth fabric. Sport jackets have texture and pattern in the fabric and are generally cut a bit looser and have more structure in the shoulders. Blazers are too preppy- definitely going for texture/pattern. I perused a thrift shop yesterday. No luck on jackets but I did find a really nice leather belt. It's a quality men's clothing retailer brand, looks unused. It sells in stores and online for $60 and got it for a buck! Link to post Share on other sites
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