In a 16 month LDR but insanely attracted to a girl at my school?

[xPhenoms]

I'm 17 nearly 18 and i am from Australia, my girlfriend is from the USA, we have been together for 16 months now and we have met in person, i flew over last November to California to meet her for the first time. I really do love and care about her and she has played a great impact on my life ever since she came into it.

 

So basically a new girl came to my school (from the previous campus) and she got really popular and i was walking around at school one day with my friends and she gave me the biggest stare and after that she just kept staring and smiling at me, at first i kind of just brushed it off like it was nothing and than she started liking my status updates on Facebook and than we started talking for ages on Facebook, she knew i had a girlfriend so she wasn't trying anything really, we did flirt in person and online. We talked in person for ages and she was really cool to talk to, I started becoming to attracted to her heavily and i know she does, and than after one day she just kind of stopped talking to me, she unfollowed me on Instagram and just unliked and removed all her comments on Facebook and i was like....ummm okay. It's been about 3 weeks since we have last spoken and i can't get her out of my head, Like she is on my mind all the time now and i really want to talk to her again because i really like her and i have a girlfriend which i think is the main reason why she is kind of keeping her distance meaning she is a good girl. Anyway i see her Instagram posts all the time and she is going out having a good time getting drunk with her friends and i am just at home sad and depressed. I love my girlfriend so much and care about her but i can't get this girl off my mind...It's only about 6 months until i finish school so i am assuming once i am out of there i won't have to see this other girl again but 6 months is a long time and I just don't know what to do. My girlfriend is planning on coming to Australia to visit me in 2 months which is great and i am really excited.

 

I know people say you shouldn't leave the one you love for the one you like, but i can't get this girl out of my head no matter how hard i try, i have to see her everyday which makes things worse. I am so emotionally unstable and depressed and my girlfriend keeps asking why and i just can't tell her because it would break her, I just want everything to go back to the way it was before i met this other girl who i can't get out of my head. I really like her and i am just confused, i am just lonely and sad

 

Help what should i do?

 

Also i plan on moving to America in the future so i just would assume that having my girlfriend there would be beneficial for me anyway, there both so beautiful and i can't decide.

[d0nnivain]

LDRs are very difficult. It sounds very exotic to say you have a GF in another country but the reality is very lonely. As a teenager I think you are missing out on a great deal by limiting yourself to a GF you can't see. Even if you make it through this test you are still facing immigration issues. The odds are against you.

 

 

I would advise you to break it off with your LD GF & pursue someone closer to home.

[smackie9]

Time to break it off and enjoy having someone that can be with you physically.

 

So what if you GF is coming to visit, what then? she goes back home and you are stuck in the same place as you are now.....struggling. And don't kid yourself, this girl you like won't be your last. Someone else will come along and it starts all over again.

 

You can't possibly be that in love if you are lusting after this other girl. You are just afraid of hurting your GF and I get that, but sometimes we need to hurt in order to grow and move on.

[kendahke]

Let's say that your girlfriend came on here and wrote the following:

 

I'm 17 nearly 18 and i am from the US, my boyfriend is from australia, we have been together for 16 months now and we have met in person, he flew over last November to California to meet me for the first time. He really does love and care about me and he has played a great impact on my life ever since he came into it.

 

So basically a new guy came to my school (from the previous campus) and he got really popular and i was walking around at school one day with my friends and he gave me the biggest stare and after that he just kept staring and smiling at me, at first i kind of just brushed it off like it was nothing and than he started liking my status updates on Facebook and then we started talking for ages on Facebook, he knew i had a boyfriend so he wasn't trying anything really, we did flirt in person and online. We talked in person for ages and he was really cool to talk to, I started becoming to attracted to him heavily and i know he does, and then after one day he just kind of stopped talking to me, he unfollowed me on Instagram and just unliked and removed all his comments on Facebook and i was like....ummm okay. It's been about 3 weeks since we have last spoken and i can't get him out of my head, Like he is on my mind all the time now and i really want to talk to him again because i really like him and i have a boyfriend which i think is the main reason why he is kind of keeping his distance meaning he is a good guy--he respects the fact that I've got a boyfriend even when I don't. Anyway i see his Instagram posts all the time and he is going out having a good time getting drunk with his friends and i am just at home sad and depressed. I love my boyfriend so much and care about him but i can't get this guy off my mind...It's only about 6 months until i finish school so i am assuming once i am out of there i won't have to see this other guy again but 6 months is a long time and I just don't know what to do. My boyfriend is planning on coming to the US to visit me in 2 months which is great and i am really excited.

 

I know people say you shouldn't leave the one you love for the one you like, but i can't get this guy out of my head no matter how hard i try, i have to see him everyday which makes things worse. I am so emotionally unstable and depressed and myboyfriend keeps asking why and i just can't tell him because it would break him, I just want everything to go back to the way it was before i met this other guy who i can't get out of my head. I really like him and i am just confused, i am just lonely and sad

 

Help what should i do?

 

Also i plan on moving to australia in the future so i just would assume that having my boyfriend there would be beneficial for me anyway, there both so cute and i can't decide.

 

 

What would you want us to tell your girlfriend if she wrote the above?

[xPhenoms]

I heard it's not overally that hard if the spouse has the right amount of money and stuff, especially for Australians its easier for us to move to America than any other country in the world, Look i love her i really do, it just hurts sometimes and yes in fact i am very lonely, but at the same time, i have a strong ambition to move to America as time goes on and i figure being with her would be beneficial

[d0nnivain]

I heard it's not overally that hard if the spouse has the right amount of money and stuff, especially for Australians its easier for us to move to America than any other country in the world, Look i love her i really do, it just hurts sometimes and yes in fact i am very lonely, but at the same time, i have a strong ambition to move to America as time goes on and i figure being with her would be beneficial

 

 

You are waaaayyyy ahead of yourself. It's highly unlikely that your HS GF will become your wife.

 

 

Go the conventional date route. Look this girl up when you actually get to America but don't tie yourselves together until you are permanently in the same physical location.

[kendahke]

I heard it's not overally that hard if the spouse has the right amount of money and stuff, especially for Australians its easier for us to move to America than any other country in the world, Look i love her i really do, it just hurts sometimes and yes in fact i am very lonely, but at the same time, i have a strong ambition to move to America as time goes on and i figure being with her would be beneficial

 

Spouse? You're not even out of high school yet.

 

You might want to get some education behind you and some work experience in a field of study before coming over here. America really isn't the place to be without some money, a work visa, some skills and a support community set up in advance. I'd say it'd be easier for you to move to Canada or GB, given they're all a part of the Commonwealth.

[justwhoiam]

I sense you're more interested in having some connection in the US than having a girlfriend you're in love with. I don't think you have deep feelings for her yet, actually, I guess you don't know her well yet.

 

With this girl in your school, there is nothing. If you wanted to have something with her, it'd probably be a temporary fling. You'd be left empty-handed anyway.

[preraph]

I wonder if she cut you off because she knows you have a long-distance girlfriend but knows you are ogling her and decided she doesn't want you because that means you're a little fickle. That said, you'd be better off finding a local girl. LDRs rarely work out because rarely does anyone want to move off and leave family and friends and work.