beach Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 This is working for now because you have no expectations or demands for him. That will change over time. Be prepared - it will hurt. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Honey, I think the reason that everyone is passionately warning you off, is the fact that you are 21. This should be the most awesome time of your life. You don't have the life experiences to understand what you are giving up and how you are most likely stunting your emotional growth. This is a time when you are becoming the adult you will be. It's an important time in your growth process. This man IS taking advantage of you! No matter what you may be getting out of it, you WILL look back on this as a crippling event someday. As far as him being the owner and no HR, when his wife finds out she will insist you be let go. (You might have a heck of a case through a labor board but I'm sure he'll sweet talk his way out of it.) you can't possibly understand the dynamics at play here. Please want more for yourself. On a side note, I'd burry any adult man that did this to my 21 year old. He's not doing you any favors. A reply you made sounded like you think people assume you are more culpable due to your age. I think you are less culpable, personally. I think you are being taken advantage of, no matter how loudly you profess that you are all in and know what you are doing. I think this is a crying shane. Find a young man you can grow with and have a peer to peer relationship with. This guy could be your father. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hope Shimmers Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 I can see you are defensive about your age, but in 10 years you will get what others are saying. I know that doesn't help now. This man has been married almost as long as you have been alive! You could be his daughter. He is taking advantage of you. Please end this hopeless situation and find a guy who will be available to be with you for the long term. This isn't it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author andreprisal Posted March 23, 2015 Author Share Posted March 23, 2015 I defend my age because it is not a relevant factor. But its become a theme for everyone to blurt out their opinions in a care free and condscending manner. Ive done more in my short life than a lot of people do their entire lives, im not naive in relationships either.Though I wasnt looking for support for my actions, bing treated like an ignorant child was not what I cam expecting either. I didnt come here to ask, hey does my MM care about me or if he playing me? No. I came here to say man. This is the first time ive done something like this. I feel kind of sh*tty about it. We really care for each other. Has anyone experienced this. And the only half decent response I got was from woman who shared her story openly with me. And that was good enough. Anyone know how to delete this thread to end all this other madness? Link to post Share on other sites
gettingstronger Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 You may want to read the background of some of the people giving you advice-you have doctors, lawyers, teachers, etc... all on this board- those are people with pretty big lives as well- I suppose I am wondering why someone at 21 with so much life experience has found themselves in such a no-win situation and how you can not see it for what it is-My guess is someone had your job before you and therefore you can not be the only one that can be trained for it- you would not be here if you had all the answers so I am unsure why you keep fighting against the very good advice you are receiving- How much counseling have you had? Why did you not choose the college route-why in to the workforce so young? Why are you vulnerable to a married man almost twice your age? Perhaps if you can answers these questions for yourself you will find the advice you crave- 4 Link to post Share on other sites
LifelongCheater Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 He tells you about how strong the "connection" he feels is with you? You should read my thread. That "connection" thing works almost every time. Link to post Share on other sites
GollumsNightmare Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 We were all 21 once. Some of us were in your very shoes. We are not mocking you. We are trying desperately to help you. The outcome of affairs are rarely simple and never end without hurting someone along the way. We are just trying to speak from experience to keep you from hurting yourself and others. I remember being 21. I made huge mistakes and the guilt tore me up for the next 30 years. Then, karma hit in such a way that it almost destroyed me. I have seen affairs from both sides and it all sucks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sub Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 (edited) He now has pretty much posted up in my office to hang out with me insomuch that if anyone needs him they call my office. Yeah, other people at work probably know. I think someone touched on it before, but you should consider your reputation here. All it takes is one person to figure it out, and you're branded. If this is a "career" you're embarking on, and not just a job to pay the bills, this is definitely the wrong foot to get off on. You can have all the maturity in the world, but you're still just beginning your life. And if/when it gets discovered, not a single person in another prospective job is going to think these are the actions of a mature person. He tells me how much he cares for me in what sound like movie lines and really thinks I'm something special. If I might ask, how many relationships have you been in prior to this one? Edited March 23, 2015 by Sub 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 I defend my age because it is not a relevant . Anyone know how to delete this thread to end all this other madness? Andreprisal- You can ask one of the mods to close the thread since you are the OP. Its one of the privileges granted to the thread starter. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author andreprisal Posted March 28, 2015 Author Share Posted March 28, 2015 Thanks everyone Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Anyone know how to delete this thread to end all this other madness? I can offer the next best thing. Thread closed at OP's request, you can reopen it by alerting us on this post ~Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
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