Wondering if I could get him back

[Premiere]

I've made a huge mess of the BU. He dumped me 2 months ago. I asked for another chance but he said no and just wanted to stay friends, FWB even. I went into NC for two weeks. Unfortunately we have mutual hobbies/friends so I end up seeing him almost every weekend. I ignored him or tried to keep the conversations short in person.

 

After two weeks, I finally texted him. He then called me and invited me over, wanting to "ease the awkwardness/hostility" between us. We hung out all day and ended up having sex. I once again went into NC, telling him we shouldn't be in contact unless it was unavoidable. He agreed, but I caved after a few days.

 

We now hang out once or twice a week, just him and I. We have sex and end up spending all day together each time. He's still very playful, flirty, and affectionate. I don't want to read too much into it but aside from the sex, the way he acts around me is hardly "friendly" behavior. He almost acts if we're still together. I asked his brother how he felt and his brother told me he's confused about me.

 

We've kept it very casual, and I avoid talking about the BU or anything serious. But I asked him if instead of having sex or hanging out, we could have a serious talk tomorrow. He agreed. He left me because I was never open with him about the issues in my life. I'm not good with vulnerability and I've kept a lot of stuff hidden from him. I don't want to get closer to him if his mind is made up, but I still have too much hope to just walk away.. even though casual sex and what feels like a "once a week relationship" is already hurting me. Should I even ask for another chance? Should I keep being his FWB and see where it goes? I still love him and I'm more confused than he is.

[BC1980]

You should neither ask him for another chance nor remain FWB. Remaining FWB will really degrade your self-worth in his eyes, and you will loose self-respect for yourself. Asking for a second chance will do the same, and you will just look weak in his eyes. You already proved that he can't take you seriously because you asked for NC and then broke it twice. He knows you will set limits only to break them.

 

Your only option is NC at this point. There was probably never a second chance on the table to begin with, but you've now gone past the point of no return. Once you start engaging in ex sex, you've lost all respect in your ex's eyes. I'm not trying to pile on and make you feel worthless, but you've got to have some sort of bottom line here. You can't become a FWB to your ex. You've got to have more self-respect than that. In his eyes, you've already degraded yourself to the point that you can't come back from it.

 

NC is the way forward. If you are forced to see him at certain events, just be cordial, and keep going. No more conversation is required. It's going to be awkward. You can't change that, so you either have to avoid these events or work out something you can live with.

[Satu]

You should neither ask him for another chance nor remain FWB. Remaining FWB will really degrade your self-worth in his eyes, and you will loose self-respect for yourself. Asking for a second chance will do the same, and you will just look weak in his eyes. You already proved that he can't take you seriously because you asked for NC and then broke it twice. He knows you will set limits only to break them.

 

Your only option is NC at this point. There was probably never a second chance on the table to begin with, but you've now gone past the point of no return. Once you start engaging in ex sex, you've lost all respect in your ex's eyes. I'm not trying to pile on and make you feel worthless, but you've got to have some sort of bottom line here. You can't become a FWB to your ex. You've got to have more self-respect than that. In his eyes, you've already degraded yourself to the point that you can't come back from it.

 

NC is the way forward. If you are forced to see him at certain events, just be cordial, and keep going. No more conversation is required. It's going to be awkward. You can't change that, so you either have to avoid these events or work out something you can live with.

 

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