veryhappy Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Please stop. Just move over because your in the storm's way. Such a great script this would make for a lousy movie. He held her hand while she sobbed and promised her never to leave, and now you contemplate some sister wives arrangement full of love and empathy. He's triangulating the heaven out of you, and your gut is right that he's doing it because he does want from her what he has with you. Where would you be if he got that? Oh right, on the curb waiting for pickup day. All this is about him and his marriage. You serve no purpose other than to be the other. I actually have an older thread on triangulation. Read on it, look it up. Kick the guy to the curb before he disposes of you like trash. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Minnie09 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 I agree. The way he talks about his wife and over-shares private information about her, would be a complete turnoff for me personally. I think it's completely unacceptable and not very classy. No matter whether or not it's the truth or a lie that he comes up with for more attention, the fact that he talks that way would make me cringe. And I'm an ow myself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
georgia girl Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Very gently, SoIG (maybe I finally got your name right?), I think you're lying to yourself on two fronts and its going to hurt you. First, he minimizes his wife to you so that you feel sorry for her. That you somehow "do the math" and see that while he says he loves her and he's not leaving her, somehow this connection with you is greater than his with his wife. I feel a need to challenge this idea. Instead, I think this guy is highly manipulative and he is minimizing her to you so that you stay in the game. Further, I think he is in turn, minimizing you to her. Right now, he's denying your existence but when he tell her - and he will, he's clearly leading up to it - it will be "just a girl from work," and that it only happened a few times and was purely sexual. Don't set yourself up for that. Additionally, and again, I hope gently, I also see you continuing to backslide. This guy is offering you even less than he ever did before and yet you are somehow making excuses for him and accepting less and less. This genuinely isn't kismet. You aren't star-crossed lovers. He is simply a cheater who is wanting to come clean. Not so he can be with you but I think so he can clear his own consciousness. (It really is all about him.) You know its over. You know it has to be. You know that your relationship - however special to you - is not different from the others posted here that are in the process of ending. Please take control for you. It's not a question of if its over, it's when. That's the one thing you can decide. Own it for you. Take your life back. As much as you tell us all otherwise, I think you want so much more. Please take care. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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